29 May Highlight: Conscious Uncoupling
I was recently at an entrepreneur’s luncheon and was asked a very odd question about a certain type of party. “Do you know what an uncoupling party is?”, my answer was no, but with all of the new trends popping up every day I always love to know more! The person telling me explained that they learned about this on Gwyneth Paltrow’s Goop blog which states:
To change the concept of divorce, we need to release the belief structures we have around marriage that create rigidity in our thought process. The belief structure is the all-or-nothing idea that when we marry, it’s for life. The truth is, the only thing any of us have is today. Beyond that, there are no guarantees. The idea of being married to one person for life, especially without some level of awareness of our unresolved emotional needs, is too much pressure for anyone. In fact, it would be interesting to see how much easier couples might commit to each other by thinking of their relationship in terms of daily renewal instead of a lifetime investment. This is probably the reason why so many people say their long-term relationships changed overnight, once they got married. The people didn’t change, but the expectation did. It’s odd that most of us assume that everything in a relationship will stay the same based on a single promise made during a wedding ceremony and that somehow, no further work is required for the marriage to remain intact.
Conscious uncoupling is the ability to understand that every irritation and argument within a relationship was a signal to look inside ourselves and identify a negative internal object that needed healing. Because present events always trigger pain from a past event, it’s never the current situation that needs the real fixing. It’s just the echo of an older emotional injury. If we can remain conscious of this during our uncoupling, we will understand it’s how we relate to ourselves internally as we go through an experience that’s the real issue, not what’s actually happening.
Rather than throwing a divorce party couples are choosing to part ways in a healthy manner through conscious uncoupling. It seems much more peaceful than divorce parties we have planned in the past. Have you ever been asked to do this, I actually think it is a great idea and a service we will offer going forward, thank you Gwyneth Paltrow!
Source: Goop, Conscious Uncoupling