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Lisa Fabrega on Business Unveiled

How to Know Your Capacity in Your Business

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How to Know Your Capacity in Your Business

LISA FABREGA ON BUSINESS UNVEILED 

How to Know Your Capacity in Your Business

Have you ever really thought about it? Your strategy vs. your capacity? You may have curated and designed the best strategy in the world for your business, but if your capacity isn’t there, the strategy cannot be implemented to it’s fullest potential.

We all know we need to manage our time, but when it comes to actually doing it, we tend to draw a blank. 

I’m so excited to share today’s guest Lisa Fabrega, Leadership Coach or Lisa Fabrega International. She will be sharing with us all the ways to increase your energy and power, how to overcome scarcity mentality and essential boundaries every business owner needs to create.

MAIN TOPICS
  • The six ways successful women subconsciously drain their energy and power
  • Signs of scarcity mentality 
  • Essential boundaries every entrepreneur needs to create
KEY TAKEAWAYS

Places you feel stuck are often not strategic issues, but capacity issues.

Wanting to quit your business or constantly changing your business model is a purpose capacity issue, not a business model issue.

Emotional Labor aka lack of Boundary Capacity can be the source of your burnout.

MORE ABOUT OUR GUEST

Lisa Fabrega is a leadership coach who helps ambitious people expand their capacity to handle more growth, wealth & success. For more than ten years, she has helped entrepreneurs, corporate executives, Academy Award nominees and Nobel Prize organization candidates break through boundaries that have been holding them back from their next level. Her signature approach enables clients to reach their highest levels of success and impact. Lisa has addressed thousands of people both on stage as a keynote speaker as well as when she appeared on podcasts including The Unmistakable Creative, Her Rules Radio and Tell Me A Story with Debra Silverman. She’s also been featured on CNN, Yahoo! News, The Huffington Post, and Forbes. She splits her time between Florida and California with her two rescue dogs, Luna and Sadie.

EPISODE TRANSCRIBED

I'm back for another episode of business unveiled. And I'm so excited to talk to our guest today. Because before we started recording, we were just talking about how we batch our days and our meetings and content days. And it's like, Ah, you get it, you're like, strategic, and her whole thing y'all is about, it's not your strategy. But it's the capacity of like how to actually execute the stuff that you put into place that is this strategic play, not only for your business, but you know, also personally, we all have the same amount of time in each day. And we all have the same amount of number of days in the year. But how we show up and how we use that time, we really have to look at capacity. So I'm excited to talk to our guests today.

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Lisa, welcome to the show.
Thank you. I'm so glad to be here.
I'm so excited. So before we jump in and talk about capacity, and strategy, and coaching and leadership, all that good stuff. I'd love for you to share with everyone listening. What was your journey? How did you end up in really having this aha moment of, I have to figure out like what my capacity is, so I know what I can take on and show up and give it 100%? Because as we were saying before, this shit doesn't happen overnight. So what what was your journey to getting to where you are now?
Yeah, so I actually really love the way you frame the question because I don't have to start from the very, very beginning of when I started my business. But I can fast forward you guys to 2015, which was about five years into my business because I started my business officially in 2010. And basically, I had been working with a lot of people. When I first started, I was a nutrition coach. And I noticed that all my clients were very successful, ambitious women, whether they were business owners, or corporate leaders. And we just stopped talking about food, a few sessions in and we were talking about issues of burnout, or being at a plateau or feeling like they couldn't handle kids and, you know, partnership and work and like they felt like they couldn't have it all. And they didn't understand why they were so tired all the time are so drained. And they would often feel like if I grow, if I grow more beyond this, like I want to keep growing. But it's like my plate is already so full, how can I grow more and like I literally can't fit anything else onto my plate. And so they would do all these little things to sabotage their growth, because subconsciously, they didn't have the capacity to be able to take on more. And that's a misconception that we have about our capacity. And we can go a little bit more into how I define capacity as well. But we think that it means just like adding more shit onto our plate and just becoming like super woman who can do a million things at once. And it's actually not what capacity is about at all. Sometimes capacity is saying no and getting better at our boundaries and getting much more efficient with our time like you and I were talking about batching but anyway, the reason I came to it to the capacity message, even though at the time I didn't call it capacity because I was nutrition coaching. And my business grew so fast. I really busted my buttons in the first couple of years webinar every month like I was full on and my business grew very rapidly. It was very successful. And in 2000 In 14, I noticed that I was feeling starting to feel kind of resentful of my clients and feeling burned out and tired. And I thought it must be my business model, it must be that I have too many one on one clients. And I need to switch to a business model that has a more passive income. And that is more group focused. And then like the one on one clients are the icing on the cake. But I was so burned out because of my own capacity issues that I decided to, to like just rashly cut out all my one on one clients. And in doing so I cut out a large amount of the revenue of business, because my one on one clients would pay me a lot of money. And I thought we're gonna put all of our energy and focus into building this new funnel for this $97 product. And it was a product that wasn't even really aligned with my zone of genius. It was a product that I was told by a team that I hired would be the best selling thing. And that is we'll talk about this later a purpose capacity deficit when you're doing things that other strategists are telling you to do, because they're like the thing that's going to make money, but they're not necessarily aligned with your donor genius and your purpose. And so we go into this year, and I put $100,000 into this funnel. Mm hmm. And we end the year with $100,000 in debt.
Wow. I've done that before. Oh, my Lord. Yeah. So
I was like, Yeah, I was I thought it was over. I was so stressed. I think I did not sleep all of 2015. Yeah. And because I never had that much debt. And I've never had that much debt in my business. And I thought, How are we ever going to crawl out of this hole. And so that prompted, you know, as these big, really impactful events do for us, they prompt some really deep soul searching. And I started trying to deconstruct like, what went wrong? How did I go off on this, like total side road that like led to a dead end? How did I end up doing this to my business? I remember, like I had I had, I was so tight on cash, I had to use a credit card points card to buy groceries. And here I had had a business that was like multiple, six figures. And it was still multiple, six figures. But we put so much money that we didn't have any profit. And I didn't have the money to like buy groceries. And I started doing some real deep soul searching. And I started thinking about all the things that I've taught my clients. And in the year after 2016, I spent that year kind of recovering, because truly, it was a very traumatic event. And I was traumatized. And I spent 2016 Just like seeing one on one clients and not trying to do anything fancy, because I was just totally traumatized from that experience. But in the process of doing that, and just listening to my clients and speaking to them, I started to realize that I had chosen the wrong thing to focus on when I felt burned out, like I was at my max, because at the end of 2014, we had waitlist for our waitlist, like things were exploding. And I was not doing things in alignment with my purpose. And so I thought the price I blamed the strategy, I blamed the business model I blamed like the frameworks of the business. And this is what most people do they think I'm stuck at this revenue plateau. That must mean I need to change my business model. That must mean I need to go spend $20,000 on this strategist that's going to help me build out a new funnel. That must mean I need to hire a career coach. And and we don't really pay attention to the real issue, which is not that you need a new strategy, because you probably already know like, there's a set amount of strategies in the world. There's not endless strategies, there's a set amount of strategies. And we know the things that work and don't work. But what happens when you're trying the strategies that work for everybody else, and they're not working for you. Because that's what I did. I hired a stellar team that was award winning and known for getting people to seven figures. And they've got me 100,000 in debt. Right. And I was like, What's wrong with me? So when I started thinking about that, I thought it's gotta be something beyond the strategy, because I don't think there's anything wrong with this strategy. What is it in me that's blocking these results. And I started to realize that, number one, I tried to launch a product that was not actually in alignment with what I'm really, really good at. And I was going for the thing that would quote unquote, sell well, I diagnose the wrong problem, and I thought I had to change my business model. And maybe I needed to tweak my business model, but I didn't need to change it like that. So I ran into a lot of people often that are like changing their business. Why every six months, and then they wonder why they're not succeeding. So there is that. And then also, I wasn't addressing my boundary capacity, because the reason I was burned out is that I was allowing clients into my client roster that were pushing boundaries constantly, they were requiring a lot of emotional labor. And that's kind of why I was burned out, because I just thought I had to say yes to any client that wanted to come to me, instead of like owning my power more and being unafraid to say, No, I won't take you on as a client, because I can tell you are going to be very draining. You're not coachable, you know. And so I started to realize, like, this is a capacity issue. And then, of course, you know, our clients reflect so much back to us about ourselves, and we learn from our clients just as much as they learn from us. And as I started observing my clients, I realized all my clients had capacity issues. And a lot of them would say to me, like, Oh, I've spent hundreds of 1000s of dollars, you're my last resort, nothing is working for me. And then we would work on their capacity. And all of a sudden, everything with all the strategies would start working for them. So that's how I got to where I am today, through like, sheer life experience and actually experiencing a capacity breakdown myself.
I feel like I'm having a conversation with myself right now. Like, looking at myself in the mirror, like two years ago, but I didn't know what it was. But now all this makes sense, like listening to you. And I've done the exact same thing you've done is like, we've been doing funnels since 2013. And when I like went to a conference, and I got so excited. And then, but I wonder if
we went to the same conference, oh, my God.
Oh, my God, that'd be hilarious. So it's like, I came out with like Infusionsoft. And then I learned about Click Funnels. And then I learned about lead pages. And then I learned about Kajabi. And then it's like, we've got all this stuff everywhere. And but I was I had too busy businesses. And, you know, it's not that they weren't thriving. But what didn't thrive was the the sales funnels and the online programs, because I would put them together at 11 o'clock at night till three in the morning, because we were doing so much client work, because I didn't know how to say no, and I didn't know how to batch my time, at the at the time, I didn't know how to track my time. I didn't know what I know, today. And so, but now, which I no one's ever, like framed it that way that like this was a capacity issue, you cannot show up and do your best work, when you have done something for a client for 10 hours. And then like now, it's like we were saying this before, like I tell my team, no more than two full strategies week, it is too mentally draining. And I want to be able to show up not be tired from the day before and never to back to back. Like ever. Like we're never doing that. It's like it happened once and I'm like never again, I just want to go to bed. And like in i I'm high energy. And so I really, it was exactly what you're saying like it was a capacity thing. And all of our funnel stuff got so much better. Once I started to block it in the data and actually do it and show up and be consistent with it, things started to change. But what I also realized about this is I'm like, okay, these other businesses there they can they can run without me most of it. And like I can bring on and onboard and train more team members to continue to help service clients to free up my time. So that was the other like turning point for me is that, I mean, it's so our stories are so similar. I'm just like, oh my god, I'm talking to the same person. And my parents were like, if you use a credit card and you have debt, like you're going to help, like you don't do that. But it's like I was told, you know that if I invest 100 grand in this stuff that you'll make it back in 60 days, because that's normal. And there were lots of other people who were doing it and I'm like, What's wrong with me? Like, but it's it's everything that you're saying is like, but I don't think even if I would have heard you speak few years ago, I don't think that I would have been far enough along in my journey for it to hurt bad enough to realize like, I need to learn to say no. And I need to learn to block my time and be true to what my calendar says. And now I'm psycho. I mean, you know, life happens and we can be flexible, but I'm like if I'm going to be podcasting all day, like I show up 100% And I'm excited to like talk to the guests. And I can't worry about everything else going on. Like, it'll have to wait till tomorrow or the next day. So everybody's emergency is not my emergency like I had to learn that really, it was hard is really hard to learn that. So it's just it's so good what you're saying, because but I will say there are some consultants and and companies and strategies where there are a lot of loopholes where, for example, and this is one of the things I was going to ask you because it sounds like you and I both have worked with a lot of experts, and consultants and companies who do these funnels and you know, they do this and people make 6789 10 figures online because it is doable. But they're not asking one key question for what I'm hearing you say is what is your capacity to show up? And do this? And if the answer is, oh, well, I'll do it in my spare time. It's like, that's not the right answer. In I mean, am I is that the right thing? Like is that what people are missing? is they're just not asking the right questions.
You are like, you're you totally get it because that's exactly. That's exactly it. This is what I say. Because, you know, I've been doing this for so long, I've created a whole framework around capacity. And there are six areas of capacity that most people struggle with. Because you know, after you work with over 70,000, people, you start to see patterns. And so these six areas of capacity that people struggle with, that's the thing that's missing, like, it's not that business coaches are scammers. It's not the experts in strategist are trying to take your money and not give you results. Sure, there's people like that, but it's not. And it's not that there's something wrong with you, either. It's that you are trying to, you're watching the Okay, I'll give you a great example. I had a colleague once, who I knew, put $10,000 into Facebook ads, and that $10,000 turned into a $300,000 launch. Wow. And then I saw her doing an ad promoting her program, about teaching you how to have a $300,000 launch without spending money on Facebook ads. And I was like, wait a minute, you had $10,000 to put into Facebook ads, and you're not telling people that in your ad. So somebody's gonna buy this program, thinking that with no money and Facebook ads, they can have a $300,000 launch.
And that's a lot. And it's
a lie, you have to put the money in you need advertising spend. The other aspect of it is that a lot of business coaches and strategists they will, like their strategy is great, but they don't provide any support on capacity. They don't. So I could say like, tomorrow I could, you know, I could say I want an eight figure business, you know, within six months, and I can buy the program that says have an eight figure business in six months. But do you know what comes up for you challenge wise and an eight figure business, it's very different than the challenges you experienced at six figures, multiple six figures, or even seven figures. And the kind of team challenges that you experienced at eight figures. I know because I advise several eight figure business owners very different. And you have the capacity to handle the level of pressure. And the types of Team issues that arise like for example, an entire warehouse threatening to walk out that require some big capacity to deal with, that you don't have when you're first six figures. Right? So there is no support on what are the beliefs, the fears? What are the things you believe about yourself? How do you see yourself? What are your boundaries? Like? What are the structures in your business? Like, like, can they hold the goal that you're trying to create? Because, for example, the team that I have at a six figure business is vastly different the team I'm going to have with an eight figure business. And how can I say I'm going to get to eight figures if I don't start building that team right now, if I don't have the capacity to even understand what kind of a team I need? Or how can I say I'm going to be on Oprah and all over the TV news with my brand and talking about what I do if I have a deep fear of visibility because I have a visibility capacity issue. So it's like, you know, like when you were a little kid and your parents would say to you like oh, your eyes are bigger than your stomach. It's the same thing with this where we're like, oh yeah, we buy into the fantasy of 300,000 Dollar lunch or the seven figure business or the eight figure, whatever. But then we don't the coaches don't stop to ask, do you have like the internal fortitude to handle hold and receive this, because that's how I define capacity, your ability to hold, handle and receive every next level of your life. And so if you don't have that, you can have the most incredible strategy on the planet and the most brilliant, you could have one of the Shark Tank people advising you, and you're still gonna take it, you're still not going to be able to handle it. Because strategy isn't enough. You have to be able to handle the emotional upheaval that comes when a launch doesn't go well, without flatlining and giving up. You have to be able to deal with Team issues, you've got to be able to say no to some really big opportunities and lose out on a lot of money because you're focused on something more aligned. And those are all things that strategist don't talk to you about that are so crucial to the strategy is working out.
It is so everything you're saying. Like, yes, yeah, like, timing is everything. But it can also kill your business. If it's not the right timing. There was a guy that I was, he was my mentee a couple years ago through the Entrepreneur Center. And he's like, and Good Morning America called it was a he was like in the wedding business. And it was like tech, and it was like, basically planning like bachelorette parties. And having all these vendors like creating this experience for these girls that were coming to Nashville spawn this money for party. And it was very young company. And he was still like, we were getting it all hooked up, like on the back end on the tech side to make it a great experience. And the number one thing that we were waiting for, which is the most important thing was when you I mean, think about it, you've probably been in weddings. And I mean, even though I planned them for a long time, like I was in a lot of them to, you know, for my friends, and we would always got there like Angela will claim the party. And Angela will also fund the party. But it's like, you know, we didn't have Venmo, we didn't have PayPal, like we didn't have that stuff, like when all my friends are getting married. And so then there would be times where people just didn't pay me back, you know, because we would split it between 1012 however many were going on the trip. So then that would really ruin a relationship because it would just piss me off. And so he was integrating this whole payment system of where you could like, go down and like check off like, Okay, we're gonna stay here, we're gonna eat here, we're gonna Bar Hop here, we're gonna go in this transportation. And the grand total is $12,000 divided by, you know, 15 Girls, each person would pay X amount of dollars, and then the link goes out with the person planning it to each person. So it was brilliant. Like, and I was behind it. I was like, Oh, my God, this was needed like 20 years ago. But when they heard about it, and then the Good Morning America, like reached out to have him on the show for Valentine's Day. Because a lot of engagements happen. And I'm like, Dude, no, your texts not ready, your site's not built out, you could have a waitlist. But from a customer service perspective, it's you, us as consultant and one other girl that is like answering emails, I'm like, You're not set up from a customer service perspective, to handle this. And Nashville hospitality is known for really great customer service. And so it's just not the right time. Like, I don't know what to tell you. But I don't think that this is a good idea. And so at first, I think he was a little irritated that I am like, you can do what you want. But if it were me, and this was my company, I would say thank you very much, but we can evaluate next Valentine's Day, because you don't have the team set up. So that I mean he they ended up scaling and he sold it pretty quickly. But before the pandemic but it was like that exact thing of just my gut saying, and I didn't even know that there was like a strategy behind it. I just knew he didn't have people, and he shouldn't do it. So, I mean, it's just it's not all publicity, and all opportunities are not always good. Like at that time.
Right? And you need to build if you want the big opportunity instead of obsessing about hiring the strategist to get it for you now. Yes, you can hire the strategist but make sure that you are also hiring somebody that's going to help you expand your capacity and get your capacity to the version of you that can go on Good Morning America, because what you're telling me is he was not the version of himself that was ready to go on. Good Morning America yet, and he had to work on that. And that's what happens with, you know, with the Oprah effect in marketing, you know, the whole Oprah effect where there's a lot of people that have been mentioned by Oprah on her favorite things. And they were so overwhelmed that they had to shut down ordering on their websites for a month, like they didn't have the infrastructure in what I call the structural capacity table to be able to receive that sort of an influx of orders. And that what is Shane, like, there's one woman named Patty West, who is the founder of a caramel candies company and who I talked about a lot when I give talks to masterminds into events, she had, she had so many orders come in, within the first few hours after the broadcast, she had to shut ordering out on her website within just a few hours. When she missed, it took her 30 days to be able to reopen the ordering just to be able to catch up with the orders that came in. So in those 30 days, she lost so many customers, and so many sales.
Yeah, that that's just you're taking a step back. And it is it is like gut wrenching sometimes, but it's like, if it's not the right time, it's not the right time. And right. It's it's okay to say no. So I know that you have this framework of like, six sneaky ways, specifically like that successful women, subconsciously, it's like we drain our energy and power. And we don't even know we're doing it. So what are those six things so that we can be more self aware, so that we can more like protect the energy and the power?
Yeah. So that is where the six capacities come in. And I would say, as you're listening to this, score yourself from one to 10 on each capacity, what our one being lowest 10 Being highest. So one of the ways that we drain our power, and our energy is through money capacity, what I call money capacity deficits. So the way to find money capacity is your ability to earn, save and invest larger and larger amounts of money every year. If you're not doing that something's going on with your money capacity. There's a deficit there. So score yourself How well do you think you're doing on your money capacity? Or do you keep hitting a revenue plateau, there's a money capacity issue going on? Do you want to raise your prices, but you're terrified of doing so. So you avoid it or you avoid even closing a sale with someone that you're intimidated by that somebody's capacity issue? Secondly, we have visibility capacity. That's one of the most popular ones for people to come to work with us. Every time I do an event on visibility capacity, it sells out in record time. And visibility capacity is your ability to allow all of you to be fully seen. Now, why is this draining? Because it's actually requires a lot of energy to hide. And a great quick little story, I can tell you that it illustrates how visibility capacity deficit can drain your energy and your power and really put you are on a plateau in your growth. I had a client who had a very successful business coaching business. It was making about $500,000 a year which is not bad. And she had just been stuck at 500k for three years. And she couldn't figure out how to move past that. And when we started working together on her capacity, we realized that she had visibility capacity issue because she had this whole other side to her that would come out with her one on one clients. It was very intuitive. And she totally hid it from most of her programs unless she was working with you like super closely one on one. And it was actually the most interesting thing about her. And it was what made her such an amazing coach. And she hid it she was embarrassed. She thought people would think she was crazy. She thought that people would you know, think she had just like gone off the deep end or whatever. And she was terrified of talking about it. And she was like a really good medium and a channel and she didn't want to talk about it. And she had this event that she would do every year that would get about 85 people to come to it every year but it really was a lot of effort to get it to 85 people well when we weren't 100 Visibility capacity, and she allowed herself to be fully seen in her work and her branding and she wrote an email to her list saying like, I'm coming out I'm a medium I'm a channel like this is why I'm so good at helping people with their businesses because I incorporate this into my work. That event sold 270 Something tickets. Wow. So that's a really good example of you hiding a part of you that could be the most lucrative part of your business and that year she, she, I remember the last call that we had that year because we've worked together for two years, she was already, like already on track to hit seven figures before the end of the year. And that was just from being like showing all of her not just showing a part of her. And then of course, you know, we did some structural capacity work where she cut down a bunch of programs that weren't really reflecting who she was. There's all that stuff that happened. So that's visibility capacity. So how do you feel as you're listening? How do you feel you're doing with your visibility capacity? The third way, and that's draining, right, like to be hiding that part of you. And then to be wrestling with a business, it's at a plateau, because you're not showing this lucrative, like really unique, beautiful part of you. And then you wonder why you're burned out and you're tired. See how it connects, right. And then purpose capacity is the third one. Purpose capacity is when the inside matches the outside. So this, we've talked about this a little bit already, I have so many people that come to work with me that built a business, and sometimes the business is quite successful. Sometimes it's not, that they built the business based on a niche that a coach told them to pick, instead of a coach really digging deep into what that person's zone of genius was. And so they end up building this business, and it's either not never succeeding, because it's not aligned with what their zone of genius actually is. Or it's really successful, and they're miserable. And they just want to throw it all away.
That was me at one point. Yeah,
it's hard to figure business. Yep. So, so yeah, and, and that, when that happens, people think, Oh, I've got to sell the business to my partner, or, and they start making these really bad decisions. Instead of understanding that all they have to do is align, yes, sometimes you do have to sell the business. Because if it's like I had a client who had a very famous like green smoothies brand, and what she was doing next, it was actually aligned with who she was now is very different than green smoothies. So she did sell her portion to her partner. But before you start selling off your portion to your partner, or closing down your business, and making rash decisions, to turn away revenue streams that are really good for you, how about looking at your purpose capacity first, and seeing if you can shift things a little bit to show what you the work that you're actually meant to do in the world? Yes, um, then, then we have embodiment capacity. That's the fourth way that we drain our energy. And by the way, like going back to purpose capacity real quick, you can see how draining it is to be operating a business. That is not your purpose. And how you can get resentful, and how you can get so burned out and think I have to change my business model when all along it was that you were living a lie, like you're not doing the work you're meant to do. And that's why you're tired. But embodiment capacity going back to that, that is your emotional, your physical, your spiritual and your mental capacity. When we have embodiment, capacity deficits, a really classic example of this is I had a colleague that every time she had a launch, the voice messages I would get from her, were like a roller coaster. I mean, she would just freak out over every tech issue, to the point where her team at the end of the last launch that she had done was like we're gonna quit if you don't stop this. Wow, as she was just like freaking out and getting stressed out when she wasn't meeting her sales targets day by day, what's going to happen, oh, my god, the emotional roller coaster of it all. And then like taking it out on her team and getting anxious and like being too demanding with them and them feeling like my God, I feel like I'm just constantly on a roller coaster with you. That's a really good example. And a common example of an embodiment capacity issue. And then another embodiment capacity issue, the way it can show up is that we don't believe that we're worthy of the success that we want, or we think who am I to talk about this? Who am I to be the one heard about this? And that's also very draining and sabotage is our power. Because we're not really functioning from an adult self in that kind of situation. When we had that kind of embodiment, capacity deficit. We are just kind of functioning from a inner child that's just lashing out and freaking out because we don't have Have any emotional capacity to handle the difficult challenges that come with running a business? Yep. And you see a lot of people meltdown in public, you know, and totally ruin their brands because they don't have emotional capacity. We see it every year. And that's part of embodiment capacity. So how is your embodiment capacity score yourself one to 10. And then the last two, I'll go through quickly. structural capacity is the fifth one.
Another place I see people miss diagnosing is they're not they don't have the proper structure to go to where they want to go. So like I said before, if you want an eight figure business, well, before you start putting $100,000 into the strategist, it's going to tell you how to build the eight figure business, you better start asking yourself, do I have the foundations and structures in my life that are going to be the thing that holds me up to go to eight figures? And what I mean by that is, do I have the T Do I have an eight figure team, who on my team cannot go with me to eight figures, because a lot of people keep people on their team that were good up to six figures, and then they can't go with them. Beyond that, and then that holds the whole company back. Right? For particularly with women, when I work with women, I work with men and women, but when I work with women, women tend to take on more emotional labor at home. And so they are trying to run a full time business and like, fold their kids clothes and do dishes and clean the house. And we also have life teams like do you have support at home, so that you can go to your eight figures, because for you to go to eight figures, you might have to tell your kids to fold their own damn laundry, right? You might have to hire the housekeeper that's going to come twice a week, because you don't have time to clean the house anymore. Yep. And so that's structural capacity. And people really underestimate structural capacity. And they start, they are like, No, I can clean. And I'm like, Really, you want to spend the eight free hours you have on a Saturday cleaning your house? And then go into a full week of work? Or do you want to spend those eight hours like going to the beach and having a good time with your family? And then boundary capacity?
The big one, though, we say the
best for last? Yeah, boundary capacity. The way I teach it is is different. Because we all know boundaries as when we say no, like putting up a wall. That's how a boundaries are. The way I define boundary capacity is communicating very clearly to the universe, what you are and are not available for. Because when we are clear on what we need to say no to, then we're also communicating what we can say yes to. And the other thing that a lot of people miss about boundaries is boundaries with ourselves, we tend to think about boundaries about being all about, you know, other people and but actually, a lot of people have very poor self boundaries, where they will allow themselves to go down these rabbit holes of thought that like stress them out. And instead of saying I'm not doing that, like I wrote a blog post a few weeks ago, that was very popular with my community about how I had this experience a few years ago, where I was waking up at 4am having panic attacks. What the heck is going on? Like, why is this happening to me? And I read I came across an article that there's this phenomenon that happens with our brains at around that time of night. I think it's between two and 4am when part of our brain that protects us from negative doomsday thinking, and keeps it in check is asleep. And so between two and four, we're especially vulnerable to having really scary thoughts. Because there's nothing like the part of our brain that keeps it in check is dormant. And when I read that, I realized I had to set a mental boundary with myself so I had to start practicing that between two and 4am. If I woke up and I started thinking, like, I'll think of the craziest things. My sister's kid My God, what if one of them falls in the pool and droughts like just like my brain would just go rampant? You know? Yeah. Or like, what if this happens and things and then I would wake up the next morning and I'd be like, what, why was I even worrying? Right? Because now that part of my brain is awake and protecting me. So I had to start practicing. Literally when I would wake up and I would start the panic cycle I would say to myself, I am setting a boundary, we are not going there. You cannot trust any thought you are having right now. So just cut it out Lisa. And it was hard at first but I kept practicing it and setting that boundary with myself and that that allowed me to Stop having those panic attacks. So I'm just trying to extrapolate this to your business, you might have to set a boundary with yourself, if you get particularly triggered by someone on your team, you might have to set a boundary with yourself that you're not going to respond to that person, immediately, you're going to go take a breath, so that you can show up as a good CEO to your team. And you might have to disappoint some people, when you say no to them, and set the boundary with yourself that you are going to stick with your no and not backtrack on it. And the last thing I want to say about boundaries that people really miss is you're not supposed to be living the boundaries that worked for you up until now, the boundaries, if you want your next level, you need to build the boundaries your next level of self has now. That sounds good. That's the tricky one, right? Yes. Is the boundaries I have now. Very different than the boundaries I have when I'm on Oprah. Mm hmm. And that's what you've got to start setting now. Because you can't get to Oprah, if you don't have those boundaries. Because, you know, I'm just talking about Oprah because I absolutely love her. But Oprah is not going to hire someone that doesn't have the boundaries of a person who's on Oprah, do you know what I mean? Right, you better get to setting those boundaries and becoming that person and building that kind of boundary capacity right now, so that when she does invite you, you're ready.
And your team is ready. And your people are ready.
Oh my gosh. Yes. Can I just tell a quick story that was yes. Yeah, heard this about Oprah. There is this guy that she hired, who was there was a guy she hired who was a chef, and Oprah lives five minutes from me. I drive her by her house every day. So I see like Chef vans going in and out. So she hired this guy was a chef. And he was like, Oh, my God, the big break of my career. And so he goes and like starts working with her team to cater this event that she was going to do it per house. Or somewhere. I don't remember where it was. And she called him and fired him. Oh, no. And when she fired him, he said it was the most transformational thing ever. She said to him, call me when you get better people on your team who actually care about you. Wow. And he was like that changed my life. Because I realized that I didn't have the proper boundaries set up with my team. And I wasn't hiring people that really cared about me. And so it was showing up in sloppy work. Wow, wasn't showing up in excellence for the opportunity with Oprah and she did eventually rehire him when he got his shit together. So she was very compassionate about it. But she also I mean, look at that boundary, I have compassion for you, and I want to give you a break, but you're not going to ruin my event.
Hmm. Right, that gives me chills. Ya know,
it's such a good story. It is free.
It's like it. And that's as a leader to this is exactly why things like this, it's so important to give people feedback, like, when you like I even have a situation right now. Where we're partnering with someone, and it you know, my team had a certain expectation from this other company. And I'm like, was that clear? Am I not clear? Probably. So it was my fault for not being a clear communicator, because sometimes I am too busy. And I don't have the capacity to get it all out of my head. And that's my fault. But then there's other times where I'm like, No, it was clear, it's in the process. But if we don't talk about these these things, and have these conversations, people don't know that they need to change, or that something about the process is broken, and how can we help them fix it? And that's what's gonna make people better. And so, like, I think of my younger self, when people would come back and say, Well, what about this? What about this? What about this? And I'm immediately like, defensive, I'm like, Well, you don't understand, you know, my head. I'm like, we had three events over the weekend, and I haven't slept in five days. Like, that's not their fault. They don't give a shit. They're just trying to help, you know. So, I mean, now I think of things very differently. But exactly what you're saying is like some of those things, instead of being defensive, listen to what is going on and take a step back and like communicate through it. And I don't know I love Oprah because so many things, you know, it's all about like, people are like, Oh my God, how old are you? Like, he doesn't matter to me. It's all about life experience, and how can I learn from other people and, but also learn like what not to do and learn how to be better. So Thank you for sharing that. Because that was really, really a good story. And it's not always the right time, not that you're not ever going to get another chance. But when you do get that second chance, the timing is going to be much better. And you're more equipped for it for what you're doing. Because you can't show up by yourself. You can't do these things on your own. Yeah, it success doesn't come that way. It just doesn't It doesn't work like that.
Yeah. And that that's something I tell myself all the time, too. I'm a, I'm an extremely ambitious person. And my ambition knows no bounds. And I want to be on Oprah. That's one of my biggest goals. And then I asked myself, are you really ready for Oprah tomorrow? And then I'm like, not yet. I'm not quite ready yet. I'm still setting some things up for that opportunity. And it takes capacity, emotional capacity to, to recognize that and then go, Well, I better get this stuff in line for when she calls.
Yep. It's just like a TED talk. And it's like, do I really want my talk to like, go viral, and then you get all this influx? And then it's like, well, I can't talk to you for four months, because my calendar. So you know, it's like the same thing. It's like, well, if you're not accessible, that makes it hard to help you grow. Yeah. So going back to capacity. This was just it was so awesome. Thank you so much for everything you shared. This was so good. I feel like I just had a personal conversation with you. I'm like, Oh, my God, I'm like talking to myself here. Oh, my, it was so good. So good. If people want to connect with you, personally, what's your favorite platform? Where should they go?
Yeah, they can go to my Well, I'm on Instagram. So you can go find me on Instagram at Lisa Fabrega. I'm at Lisa Fabrega across all platforms, LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and my website, Lisa fabrega.com. We have a really great video on the website where you can download a video that walks you through three questions that help you understand why everything you're trying isn't working and gives you greater insight into your capacity.
I love it. And then your website.
My website is Lisa fabrega.com.
Perfect. So you make it easy. I have a very, very unique last name. And so that's awesome. But like, not everybody. It's like every time I go to another platform, I'm like, oh my god, somebody already has the name. So it's like underscore, dot, you know, all that good stuff that we deal with from a branding perspective. But this was so so so incredibly helpful. And we will put all of everything that we mentioned, like with links, and if you guys listening want to connect with Lisa, which my gosh, you definitely should. And go watch the video, we'll put it on the show notes so that you guys can block some time on your calendar. So you can be present and show up and watch and learn. Because this stuff is doing this work is the most important work before you actually can grow. This is just my opinion. This is just Hunter. What I think personally so it was awesome. Thank you so much for your time today and for being here. My pleasure. Thanks for having me. Awesome. And everybody listening. Thank you so much for your time. And be sure to tune in next week for another episode of business unveiled by y'all. That's it for
this week's episode of business unveiled. Now that you have all the tools that you need to conquer the world and GSD get shit done. Would you share this with your friends and fellow business leaders? One thing that would really really help us and help new listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a comment and Apple podcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you tune in and listen to business unveiled. You can check out the show notes at Angela proffitt.com/podcast and link up with us on social media so you can share your biggest insights. And I want to know your aha moments. Until next week, remember the profitable shifts and structures you're creating in your business. help you be more present in your life. So get out there and GSD

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Published: November 4, 2021

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