16 Sep How to Unlock Your Audacity
There is a lot of pressure on entrepreneurs to be successful, and there’s many roads to success. You may start down one path and find yourself on a totally different route down the road.
It can be challenging not knowing everything all at once, but when we embrace our individuality and uniqueness, everything else falls into place.
Today, I’m so excited to share our guest Erin King, Founder of Socialite. She is a best-selling author and 3x entrepreneur, who is going to share with us all about how to embrace who you’ve been, who you are and who you are destined to become… no matter what the world tells you.
When your inner GPS is telling you to take a different route – how do you respond?
When you find yourself at a personal or professional crossroads – where do you turn for answers? Exactly how do you get unstuck?
When you find yourself in a challenging situation- do you gravitate towards the comfortable, even when you know you should level up?
Audacity: how to embrace who you’ve been, who you are and who you are destined to become – no matter what the world tells you
Courage: how to identify and overcome the obstacles keeping you stuck and holding you back
Leadership: how to develop and deploy concrete action steps for you and your team to ignite powerful progress towards your biggest goals and decisions
Erin King is a best-selling author, 3x entrepreneur and the CEO of the Socialite Agency. She’s helped clients ranging from The Academy Awards in Hollywood to The United States Navy at the Pentagon communicate more compellingly using her award-winning PUB method. She is the author of “Digital Persuasion” and “You’re Kind of a Big Deal” which both draw from her personal and professional experiences having founded three companies before the age of 40. Off-duty, you can find her either mountain biking with her husband Hartman, Facetiming with her huge, crazy Irish family, or being an annoyingly extra dog mom to a cavapoo named Betty White.
I'm back for another episode of business unveiled. And I'm so excited for our guest today. She is so awesome. We've been chatting, I should have been recording this whole time. And she actually like has some Nashville tags, but she's on the west coast. And I have to ask you, are you a surfer? Yes.
Okay, okay. Like we'll get into that in a minute. But you're welcome Aaron King to the show, because we are going to chat it up and have all kinds of good takeaways for you today. So Aaron, welcome to the show. Angela, thanks for having me. We have literally been gabbing for about 40 minutes and the time has flown. So I hope we're not running over too much. But I've had too much fun talking to you.
It is all good. I'm just so excited for everyone that's watching or listening to get a piece of your goodness, y'all she was just telling me her family was just in. And you hadn't seen him since 2019. Because of the pandemic, yeah, to December Christmas 2019. And they just, they all left this morning after a whole week of just hugs. And we went wine tasting it here in California. And we just laughed and cried and shared and caught up and got the good squeezes. And I am just I am a grateful gal. So it was really special. That's so awesome. So you're on the west coast. And did you grow up on the West Coast? Like I would love for you to share with everyone what was your journey to get you into? Because I know you probably started I know when I started my first business social media wasn't like a thing, like a big thing. And now it's like some of our interns like that's what they're going to school for which like that didn't exist back then. And so I'd love for you to share just your history, your journey about California and how have you gotten to where you are today? Oh my gosh, Well, okay, let's start with personal first and then we'll go to the professional. Okay, so personally, geographically, I am two thirds East Coast 1/3 West Coast. So I'm two thirds. It's called a highway. Let's hustle. Let's make it happen. High Energy gogogo. And then I'm 1/3 like it's a freeway, let's just go to the beach and have a margay like whatever was so hyper. So I have these two totally different sides, which is really confusing. And my husband's from Alabama. He also went to Vanderbilt. So he has the Nashville ties as well. So I'm married to a southerner. My, my very best friend is from Iowa and other ones from Texas and my besties are Midwestern and southern. So we're just like a big hot USA all over the place mess.
Yeah, we are fun mess. We I moved to California, actually, because I was an East Coast surfer. And I was 25 years old. I came out here on a business trip. And never forget just driving down the pch. And the big beautiful blue ocean opened up in front of me. And I said to myself, like a crazy person out loud. There's no one in the car. I will live here someday. And I came out for one year just to have a wild, you know, surf it up and live your best California life. And that was like 14 years ago. And my parents have finally just on this last visit. Matter of fact, stop asking me when I'm coming home
for life. No. Yeah, so we love it out here. We live in Laguna Beach and a little teeny tiny dusty beach shack, one block from the ocean and we mountain bike and we talk about astrology and all this stereotypical weird California stuff. We're all about it. And professionally, you know, I started my career. Back in 2004, I was slinging television ads for a local TV station in Baltimore, Maryland, which is where I grew up. And we were cold calling out of the Yellow Pages and printing out PowerPoints and Yellow Pages. And nothing got the sentences remotely relevant right like we were alive physically with a PowerPoint and save advertise on broadcast television and we would produce the commercials and I mean, the whole thing was like anchorman meets the wire. It was it was interesting. So but it was 100% Commission. So it was a great training for like, call 100 people, get the three meetings, keep going, you know, maybe close one deal a week and you didn't sell it
Eat. So it was good training. And I'll never forget it was from there. I had a girlfriend that started working for an early days LinkedIn company. And it was kind of like a match.com for trade shows. And she dragged me over there. And obviously LinkedIn one became the superior network. But I've really been working in social media to your point, like, since things were pretty wild west.
And there was one point and that corporate job where there was a guy who was my counterpart, this guy named James. And you know, I had better sales numbers, but James played golf with the boys club. And so he got this promotion that I didn't get an I just, Angela, I fully Jerry Maguire. I was like, who's come with me? And of course, no one was because why would they come with me, I was 25 years old. But I just jumped ship and started my first company jump digital media when I was 25. And we were doing kind of like early days social media and websites. And, you know, I made a lot of mistakes. I didn't know what I was doing. I got into a ton of debt, and ended up going back to the corporate world to dig out of the debt, get the experience. I read digital strategy for a huge company called auction calm, which is an eBay of real estate. And then got the itch again. Once I got back in the black and I raised capital this time and started a company called pms.com. It's was $1 Shave Club for women's health care needs. We were the team.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, Forbes calls the tampon fairies, and I thought it was a genius idea, because I never had supplies on hand. I was always the awkward girl into the stall, like, excuse me, I love your shoes. Can I borrow tampons? Which is just bizarre and weird to me. So we were on period prep magically delivered monthly. And you know, it was okay, we ended up kind of like breaking even it turned out that most women are they're just responsible adults to get him at the grocery store something big of a deal.
learn that lesson the hard way. And that was actually a really dark I'm joking around about it now cuz it's years since we did it, but it was it was a hard failure to look at a bunch of male investors and tell them look, you know, not only are we not the unicorn, he thought we were going to be you know, you bet on me, the jockey not the horse. And, well, this horse did not win. And we you know, I didn't get him any return on their seven figure investment. It was. It was brutal. It was tough. And I'll never forget, there was one like really dark moment where I couldn't pay $100 cellphone bill. And I had been in Forbes magazine, Miss Miss Miss hot stuff, Forbes entrepreneur, and I was broke, broke, broke. And I gave myself till the next month cellphone bill. And I'm like, Look, if you can't figure out a way to take what you've learned and make it happen, you just need to admit that you don't have what it takes. Like there's no shame in the corporate game like quit trying to be this entrepreneurial creative that maybe you just don't have that you're not that person. And so I learned in that failure that even though PMS calm the company, was not a good company. That community around PMS comm was a huge success. We were the internet's largest collection of women's monthly health care talk. It was like recipes and chocolate recipes and memes and jokes about husbands and and when like murder everybody once a year and
study love it. Yeah, it was millions of women coming together and connecting and identifying with each other and having a laugh and having a cry and feeling seen and feeling connected. And so I realized in my monster failure that my superpower was actually building these social media communities. And I, I parlayed that into my third company with one clients, my kitchen table and grew it into socialite, which for the last 10 years has been running social media communities, and I was able to pay the next month cell phone bill and more. And that was 10 years ago now ever from the Oscars in Hollywood to the United States Navy at the Pentagon and wrote a book about it and a public speaker now and a coach and a new book and the whole thing just changed because it was kind of like darkest before the dawn, it was like if you're listening to this and you're in that moment and shit is not going well and you are ready to give up it's like that last push where it all comes together and it all aligns. So that's my journey long story long and it's been I've learned a lot about what does not work at all and a little bit what does so that's my story. But it's so good because and thank you for sharing all that because social media and I think sometimes people forget this I don't think I know it because even like some clients come in and they're I was talking to a guy today about it and he's like, but I want social media like I want to sell my my course. And I'm like, social media is to be social. And the number one thing and you hit it on the head is creating community and creating that foundation of kinda like you, you know, everybody in your community
Unity. And yes, if you help one person in that community, then they'll go and tell the next person, the next person. And so even when social media was not around, and I started my first business, and people were like, how are you getting this business? I'm like, it's word of mouth. Like, yeah, I just, I show up, I do a good job, I communicate, you know, all the stuff my parents taught me. And I found that as I kept going, and going and going, is that a lot of people don't communicate, they don't follow up, they don't close the loop. It always goes back to communication. And even though now I feel like things are much easier to collaborate and connect, because of social media, I see it as I mean, it's a love hate relationship with some people. But I'm like, it's so awesome to connect when you connect with the right people, and you're in the right community. And remember, social media is about social. And it's not always about sales. So do you get that to that people, it's dead on. I love how you phrase that because even our connection today, I mean, we My team and I, we actively seek out like minded, badass women who are doing big things and making waves and you are one of those women and, and I think, when you say it's a double edged sword, and people have a love hate relationship, I certainly identify with that. I mean, you and I, we make our living, contacting and connecting. And this is how we've grown our companies over the last couple of years. At the same token, I was off all social media for the last seven days. And today was my first day back, and I do the later posts and later Graham and everything, I'm Instagram, I started that feeling that creeps in where you know, you have to be careful with those inputs, those inputs are affecting our outputs. And I think it can be just like life, it can be an absolutely healthy amplifier of the good or it can suck the joy right out of the marrow of your emotional bones. And so that intentionality around taking the break if you need it, you know, blocking blast, if you need to find seek out awesome gals like you. I mean, it's all on how you decide to use it right?
All again, that's the thing, it all goes back to how are you showing up? Like and it's healthy. It's okay to be off at a friend the other day. She's like, everything on your social media recently. Like it's just, it's all about like work in business. And are you just working so hard right now? And I'm like, we're getting ready to launch a product. So yes, yes, there has been nothing but grinding. Yeah, working. And every once in a while, like y'all jump on my story. But it I'm like, when you go launch products, it is like literally head down, focus, focus, focus, focus until it's launched. And then I'll go spend more time in Cabo. Like, yeah, hey, but it's like she's never launched a product before. So it's hard to have those conversations if someone doesn't understand, like, what it takes, like the dedication. And I'm like, you know, what if I did get on social media and acted silly, and I was out drinking margaritas, which I love doing all that, and I used to serve, and I was a gymnast, and I loved all of that. But it's like, for the 90 days that we're getting ready to launch. Yeah, that's what you know, your heads down, it's like, you've got to focus. And then you can go have fun. And there's nothing wrong with that. So it's just like, but also prepare your audience and let them know, so that when you're not there, and you're not showing up, they're not like, where are they What happened? And then people make things up about you, like, did they fall off? That's what I found out about the pandemic too. When people just quit showing up. It's like, what are they going out of business? What's going on? That's right, you know, really clarifying. And building that community is really, really important. So I'm interested to know, like, because you've taken a few different routes and a few different turns, and it's like, you learn from one and you picked up and you like took everything that you learned and made it even better for the next thing. And so if someone that's listening or watching and they're like, You know what? I think for some people, they're just afraid to say this isn't gonna work, and they want to keep going and they do drag themselves into debt. Like how do you know exactly when it's, it's time to say, Okay, I'm done with this chapter. I don't want to call it quitting. But how do you know when when you should move on? I mean, is that was at the lowest point for you where you were like, okay, I can't pay my phone bill, like I need to do something different. Or how do you even respond to?
Well, I think the problem is, is that we are taught to never give up, never quit. You know, if you aim for the moon, you land among the stars or whatever that
Pinterest glitter, yeah, coffee cup quota that to get us past it. But you know, and I think that, that the problem is, is that that does not allow for the reality that we have to create the space to listen to our intuition. And it's okay to change our mind. changing our mind is not quitting changing your mind. Men call it pivoting, right? Yes, feminism that is a generalization, obviously. But we tend to be like, Oh my gosh, are we flaky? are we changing our mind too much? Are we here and there? No, dude, like, it's the pivot, whatever. And I think that as I think that men are better at separating all the circumstantial reasons, that event you did not take off. They're, they're, they're, they're more comfortable at blaming, the timing the market, the competitive landscape, the strategy, whereas women, we tend to, for some reason, blame ourselves, like we look at it as an us thing, versus a business thing. And so one of the things I've learned over the last, you know, 15 years, I have a lot of mentors that are men and a couple that are women, but a lot that are men. And what I have learned is they're so they're so good at separating themselves from their business, they are not their failures. And as women, I think taking a page out of that kind of do tatooed that they have, right? Taking a little page out of that can be healthy, because because if you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, if you are drowning in debt, if you don't have a solid scalable model, if you haven't done the work to define what success looks like for you, you're not a hero, for hanging in there and digging deeper and deeper into the hole, you are just making bad business choices. And the difference I think from from in my journey, at least what I've learned is that when it is the right path, when you are in a space where you know you can make it happen. It's typically not always, it's typically because you are replicating a version of success that you have identified as something that you could see yourself doing. I think it is very rare, that that were a sucker Berg that were just a complete, just invented out of the blue and it's the thing. For me, I look at the grittiest gals I know. And over the years, I've always looked at them, and said to myself, that's what I want to do. And actually, I have a book coming out June 1 and one of the chapters is called your jealous is your genius. And I talked about reframing. Jealousy is not always been a bad thing all the time. Maybe that little twinge of jealousy sometimes isn't your intuition. That's an indicator that maybe you're maybe you're heading on a little bit of a Hey, maybe this is you for me. And I forget it was like, I don't know, 10 years ago, 15 years ago, and I was at a conference in Walt Disney World. And this woman named Cindy Gallop, she walked out on stage this marketing conference and she had a skin tight black leather outfit on and this swingy Bob, this clip British accent, and she gets gave this presentation to a very serious Tough crowd, b2b marketing audience, all about her new venture called make love not porn.com make love not porn. And she was talking about how important it was to create healthy versions of what healthy sexual relationships look like. Because I guess a lot of guys growing up like in the internet age, or like getting these, like totally false ideas of what love should look like. And so she had this whole venture. She was so impassioned and so sassy. The entire place was on their feet. given her a standing ovation. It was always old fashioned traditional dudes. And I looked at her and all and I was like, that is what I want to do someday. I was so jealous, like She's so cool. So then fast forward five years later, I'm running social agency, and we do social media for live events and trade shows. were one of the meeting planners come up to me and she's bawling, crying, miscarried on her face. One of the social media speakers had not shown up for a breakout session. It's 250 people in Las Vegas, she sent me a total meltdown. She goes, can you go up there and just talk about what you guys do for us but social media. So I had a meltdown in the bathroom, but then I was like, What? I'm like, What would Cindy Gallup do? I'm like, she would get on that stage and she would just own her truth. And I just channeled my inner city that just to be clear, I love it. She was wearing black leather pants. I was wearing like this dorky trade show flat this horrible j crew blazer. I mean, I was certainly no lady Catwoman up there, okay. But I got there and I just channeled her and they rose to their feet at the end. And they left they did not tell us anything. But I got like three different brands that were like, Hey, what's your fee? Will you kind of speak to our organization? I discovered what I was supposed to be doing after my socialite company, which was public speaking and and so I think that's a pay attention to like what that looks like for us when you feel as twinge is. It's not always a bad thing. To see a gal who's kicking ass and being like, Go on, tell me more. You know, that can be a healthy thing. I think so.
I've answered your question a little bit, but if yes,
What that looks like for you, the biggest thing is to finding success for you. Because I will say one last thing is that when I was running socialite, in the first couple of years, I was making the most money I've ever made in my life. And I was also the most stress losing my hair in the shower.
Right? And you're like, wait a minute, is this just the version of success that I've been subscribing to? Because my entire life, I thought this was what it was supposed to look like? Well, if that's what it is, I'm out. I have I was telling you before this before this podcast, I have a three person team now you have 35 people, like, I'm so much happier now. redefining what success looks like. And I think if you're struggling to know, do I stay the straight and narrow? Do I keep on keepin on? Is it darkest before the dawn? Or is it time to like, reinvent and call it quits? Really tune in to that inner GPS lady that big deal energy? Because your intuition is individual intuition is not found on the internet, it is not collected, you do know if you have the audacity to stop. And listen. I love that. So you mentioned your book. And I love it. Because it's like, you're kind of a big deal. So tell us more about that. Like, how did you name the book? And what drove you to say, Okay, I'm going to do a second book. And because your first one is digital persuasion. Yeah. And And y'all, it takes a lot out of someone to sit down and say like, I'm going to commit to this, I'm going to show up, I'm going to write a book. And it is like a full time job for well over a year because then you have a book. And then you got to go tell everybody about it. Even when you have like great publishers, it's like it You are the one that has to show up, which is exciting. But at the same time, it can be demanding, like what Tom, but I booked and how did you come up with? Okay, I'm gonna write a second one. And then how did you come up with the name? Because I love it. Well, thank you so much. And you're you've written multiple books, you know that birthing these book babies is no small feat to your point earlier. Yeah. And mine is like, I am like two weeks. So delivery time, I am ready to get this thing out of me. Yes. But you know, the first book digital persuasion I wrote, because it's all the stories and strategies and tactics. And I had this technique called the pub method out of being personally useful and brief, which you can use in DMS and outreach and becoming a more powerful, persuasive social seller. And so I was doing keynotes all over the world of these big conventions and teaching my sales techniques from the last, you know, 15 years running companies and teams and and after the keynotes, I noticed that in my DMS, I get all these dams from these women that had nothing to do with what I just talked about on stage. They were like, I'm like, okay, like, you know, it was it wasn't about sales, they were like, how do you public speak? How do you raise capital? How do you get the guts to start your own company? How do you? How do you do all these things? Not just the sales part, but how do you do all the like, scary, scary things. And so what I did was I after about three years of getting these DMS, I'm like, Okay, I'm clearly not delivering what these women and a few good men want to hear. So I was like, let's just take these VMs and the top 10 questions. Those are the the foundation for the table of contents, that's the backbone of the book are answering DMS that I got an Instagram. So not a very glamorous backstory, but that's how it came together. It was kind of a Ok, let's dive in and unpack these big concepts around fear around entrepreneurship around owning your truth around breaking through and leveling up and, and being more audacious which is kind of a controversial word right? I mean, you know being confident is very sexy, you know, daring, boldly Daring Greatly, but audacity is Daring Greatly and boldly, which is sexy, but even if it might shock people or even offend them, which is like ooh, canceled culture put on the brakes Good girl called we want you back. It's tough to to push the envelope and to know how to step into this big actions as big juicy actions, but kinda like what you were saying earlier with your social media. But you know, you're getting those big reactions, because big actions, ignite big reactions. If you aren't doing anything massive, you're not blowing things up. People don't care, you're rolling with everybody. You're not making any waves everyone's happy as can be. When you start really leveling up and doing the new things, people's reactions to you change. Because their their reaction to you is a reflection of them. How is what you're doing making them feel how's it making them look at things in the mirror they don't want to say? And so it's framing your big, bold, bossy, gutsy mixture to happen moves through the lens of is that making it hard for them to hold down their narrative? Are they not able to subscribe to that same old soundtrack anymore because you're pushing them to look
Get the scary, uncomfortable things. And that's kind of what it sent with your girlfriend with no social media, something about what you were doing, made her look at the way that she showing up in a way that she did not like. So nothing to do with you, as you know. But so the book title,
it comes from the fact that I had a girlfriend. Give me Jensen Sarah's book, you are a badass, and I read this book before, but it's a great book, I have it out. You are a badass by Jensen, Sarah. It's great. And when she handed it to me, I remember it kind of felt like a hug in book form. Like she was telling me that I was a badass. And I was like, That felt good that almost like a greeting card kind of book gift. And I was like, I really want a title, that when a girlfriend gives you another girlfriend, it makes them feel seen and supported and loved. I want them to read that title. And I want there to be a subliminal, you've got this in the title. And so my girlfriends and I always joke around, like, whenever someone has like to your point, the book launch or the podcast or the coaching course or the fabulous Cabo training session, we always joke around like, well, you're kind of a big deal, aren't you aren't here's the big deal. Now. We just kind of, you know, Give it, give it a shot. But so
fun, the title was like, Hey, you know, you're kind of big deal. So, that's where the title came from. It has been a journey, but we are ready to bring it to the world. And hopefully, you know, the stories are there from my life, but they're also from the grittiest gals, I know they are from the women in my life that I have seen take those big chances and go for those big moments. And some of the stories are not beautiful, they are not wrapped with a happy ending beautiful bow at the end. But the lessons Oh, they have helped me so much. And so my hope is that they'll do the same for my readers. That's so awesome. Well, and the most important thing, like what I just heard you say and y'all if you didn't hear what I heard, I'm just gonna say it out loud. So you were giving keynotes, you were speaking all over the world about a specific subject. But that's not the always here like, you know, you want people to mirror you so that when they are sending you messages and DMS, it's asking you about what you just talked about. And so one of the key things that you really took it and ran with it with this book is you listen to your audience, and you're showing up for what they need. And what they asked for. You're not turning around and saying, Well, yeah, like that was scary. And I did this and this and this, but what about this, like, buy this, like, people and we were talking about this earlier, before we even started recording, like people buy what they want, not what they need. And that is that whole word, word, word pivot. It's like, if you were to ask me two years ago, a year and a half ago, Hey, are you helping people produce podcast and produce their videos? I would have been like, No, we don't really do that, like we do it for. I do it for myself. And we have a team to do it for my brands. But no, but that's what people kept asking for. And so taking a step back, instead of pushing things on people that we know they need it, but that's not what they want right now. And being able to pivot earn their trust by giving them what they want. And listening to your audience. It's been one of the hardest things to do, psychologically, because I'm like, but if you just knew how to be productive, and stop using paper, and go paperless, and delegate better, and quit trying to be everything to everybody and say no, you know, these are the conversations I have with myself and in my head about other people's jobs, then you could do all of this other stuff. But that's not what they're asking for right now. They buy what they need, but you end up actually getting them to that journey, and taking them on that journey and getting the same outcome, it might just be a different route. Because that's what they need right now. And you heard that and you show up and you deliver for that, which is amazing. And that's why a lot of women, at least that we've seen and that we've worked with, they almost quit is because they think something's wrong with them. And it's like there's nothing wrong with anybody. It's just we have to learn how to be good listeners, rather than fixers. like trying to fix everything. Because that's not what people are always looking for. They're not looking for what how you want to fix them. They're looking for something that they need, and they're telling you that in a different way. So we'll put everything in the show notes, but
Where can people go and get the book? Like, can they preorder it now? Or where's the best place to go? Yeah, Aaron King calm for all the things, we have the link to preorder the book, we have all kinds of fun training and coaching experiences. If you have a big team, you buy a bunch of books in advance, we'll do beautiful training session and all kinds of gear around this concept called Big deal energy, which is a big a big deal energy, which is in the book. So we have all kinds of fun, like the big deal diary and all kinds of goodies. So everything's Aaron King, calm. I love it. So one more question. Because as women, and you're so right, like, men just show up differently. And every one of my mentors that I have worked with, that I got so much out of they've all been men. And I think it's because Are you the oldest out of your brothers and sisters? Yes. Are you? Yeah, I'm the oldest.
It's so it's like, just, there's commonality, like, when you could just tell it's like, you know, when you're the oldest, it's like, you're always, I, at least, I was always like, Okay, I'm gonna take care of my, my little brother and sister. And I mean, I told you that to this day. You know, my brother owns a business now and, and I'll step up and, and start saying something. And then he'll text me. We were on a board meeting yesterday, because he has a nonprofit for helping people understand the human trafficking and how it's, it's a huge problem in Nashville. And so I was about saying, he would text me, he's like, I got it. Like, stop trying to talk for me, I got,
like, I have to, you know, Okay, I'm gonna be quiet. It's like, always want to like step in and, you know, take care of them and do better. But there's these commonalities between like, the oldest child of like, always trying to fix everything. I don't know.
Yes, I do. And in fact, my brother and sister, my sister is in the bedroom right now. My, my brother was visiting with us, he left yesterday, but I interrupted him so much as a kid because we, he was really shy. And so they would say, like, what do you want for lunch or dinner, and I would just say he wants this, I'd speak for him to the point that I gave the poor boy a stutter. when he was younger, he grew out of it. But I literally would speak for him on his behalf, trying to do what you're talking about. And that does not help anyone. And obviously, same, he works for Google. Now. He's a big, you know, YouTube. Exactly. I mean, I still to this day, will try to lecture him. And he's like, I got it. Right. I feel your pain of trying to come from a place of mama bear, but they don't need it when they're 37 years old.
I know. And I'm like, Okay, I know, I know. But like, yeah, we get caught up in like, these uncomfortable situations, sometimes they can be challenging, and it is challenging to have uncomfortable conversations sometimes. But anybody that's listening, when they know, okay, I need to have a challenging conversation. Or even like we I even recently, I was like, This is not working out with a client, like we have to let this client go. It's not a good feeling. It is. It can be very liberating after it's done, but it's like, this just isn't gonna work out. But if someone's listening, that is that needs to show up and have a challenging conversation instead of just putting it behind them, or continuing to show up, it's affecting the way that that you're able to show up. But what can you tell somebody who's like, I know, I need to level up. I know, I need to GSD I know I need to get shit done. What can you tell them to do? Because it's hard sometimes. And it does take courage. But what would your advice be to anyone that's in that situation right now.
Stop waiting to feel like you know, 100% that you're ready.
Because that feeling will not come? It will not come you are never 150% no shadow of doubt in sight. Fully, sure and ready. And the thing is, whether you're making a pivot like I did, from the social selling, where I was so comfortable, because I've run companies, and I've done sales training, and I have always amazing clients. And I felt so confident ensuring the audience was saying, This is great. We love it. And we actually want to hear about this kind of girl power stuff going on. And I'm thinking to myself, like, well, I don't have a degree in girl power. I've never done anything like Who am I but it's really scary to listen to them and to chase it down. And to this, this exact moment. My books come out in two weeks. And we're like, part of me is like, why are you doing digital persuasion. I know it. It sells great copies. We have our training sessions. We have our coaching like it's great and it works and people love it. But to take that feedback and have the audacity and the courage and the confidence to say look, I am not ready. I am not sure and I'm listening to what people really need from
Me, you're going to make either, you know, either you're going to chase down what you want, and everyone may or may not respond, or you're going to listen to what people need you to serve them with your voice. Because yes, they can Google anything. They can YouTube anything. There's a million coaches and courses and consultants and creatives. But no one can do it the way that you can do it. No one can do it with your voice, and your lens and your experiences. And the world needs to hear what it is that your internal GPS is screaming at you to share. So I would challenge you to have the courage to listen and to go for it and to know that it's okay. To never be totally sure.
It's almost like listening to my sister who now has four kids. And I'm like, how do you know and you're ready to like, it's like becoming a mom. Which we're dog moms. Yeah. Yeah.
It's like, I don't. I'm like, I can run businesses all day long. But like, committing to something that long term, I'm like, I don't know if I'll ever be ready. And, and I hear a lot of women say that who run businesses and have children? And you know, they have to learn to ask for help. Yes. And that's the other thing. It's like, it's never going to be the right time. It's never going to be the best time. And if you are looking for some type of sun or lightning strike or something like you are the lightning. Like Yes, you have to make shit happen. Yes, you're your own generator. There's no place to plug. Yes. And that's Yes. funny because my sister in law has three under five. And her and my brother came up to the the wine country with us and we got to a beautiful special incredible time. And here she is. I know she took a red eye flight home last night. And she is posting finding things that start with letter You for show and tell day, she's packing off the lunches. I know she has not slept a wink. And she's in full mom mode. And she looks happy as could be. The eyes are crinkled up. She's having a big laugh for her. Like she works full time. By the way, too. She works for a really fancy Consulting Group. She does it all. But she's not. She loves it like for her. That is what success looks like for her. And that feels good for her. And am I ever going to have that level of like superpower? Definitely not. And I can make peace with that. Because I know that what I'm bringing into the world is different than what she's bringing to the world than what you're bringing to the world. And so I would just challenge as women for us to Yes, we can do it all Yes, we can have it all. But we don't have to feel like we should be at all. And I think just making peace with you know, you do know what you love, you do know what you're chasing down because it's probably a version of what you're doing right now. So really lean into it. And don't, don't try to measure up against everyone's instant crap. You know what I mean? Like, take the filters off, take the judgment off and just love on the fact that you do actually know where you should go, you do have what it takes not in some faraway place. But right now. And guess what the worst that happens is you fall flat on your face, like starting a tampon delivery service that made no money. But in the failures in the deepest darkest failures, Rise of the Phoenix of your super power, you will discover what it is you were born to do. If you keep having the courage to get out there and be messy, and fail and fall, it's the only place we can find those, those wounds of dagger that heal into those beautiful scars of success.
I love that. And it is like don't compare my today to your today. Because in sometimes it doesn't even have to do with age. It because it depends on where you are in your journey where you show up. So at the entrepreneur center, there's some people there that are in their mid 50s. And they are a brand new entrepreneur. They worked in corporate America, they retired, they had an idea they saw a problem. They want to raise capital, get into all that. And they're sometimes they look at me and they're like, I don't know how old you are. But I'm old enough to be your mom or your dad. And how do you know these things? And I'm like, but a lot of it comes with what what some people will call failure. But for us, it's like opportunities to like get up, keep going. And it is the mindset of knowing that I'm going to take what I've learned and pick up and do better next time. And the other thing that I will say to this is people that aren't in in the same space that try to give advice and I'm like wait, why am I taking advice from them? If you aren't if you've done this
And it's like, don't take advice from people who haven't done what you want to do. Go find people who have done what you want to do. And 10 times out of 10, when I have surrounded myself with those people, they want to help me succeed, not tell me what to do, because they've already done all of that. And they have already fallen on their face. And they actually are very passionate about helping people who want to ask for help. So like, it's okay, to get up and ask for help, like, the first time that you do stuff is not always going to be perfect. In fact, I don't know, any people that I view as successful today. They've all pivoted, they've all done different things. And so I love how you say like the GPS thing, like, follow the GPS, and it's going to take you to the next place in your life and in your journey of being an entrepreneur. So I love that show is so awesome. It's so true. And I love how you said that. I mean, it is easier sometimes to be a coach than a player. Yeah. And so you know, we're all it's easy to spend some high aim at raising capital or breaking up with somebody, or, you know, saving the money or facing down the challenge. Like it's always easier to see so clearly what someone else should do. But I agree with you being really intentional, and strategic, that the people on your team abundance bench are those that you have seen the proof in the pudding. They've done the hard things, they put the points on the board, because there is a lot of BS on the internet filters and, and all the different apps can work wonders, you know, and so I would just, I know that I'm, I'm constantly almost every single day, looking at my bench, and I'm looking at my team abundance girlfriends, my team abundance players. And if people are starting to wear that team scarcity, Jersey,
no, ma'am. It is time for a replacement. It is time for I wish you well. But making sure that those inputs that you're taking in whether it's from people or places online or offline, are what you need to be able to step into your power, show up do big great things or do small, great things. Because a lot of times if you're feeling stuck, and if you're feeling like I'm working so hard, and I'm just going in circles, I don't feel how I thought it would feel nine times out of 10 it's because what you thought success was going to look like for someone else is not ultimately what that GPS is saying that your version of success looks like. When I 35 employees making more money than God, I was miserable. Now I have three, I'm still not making as much money as I made seven years ago to this day, I am 97,000 times happier with what I do what I've created in my life by design, I don't get Sunday scaries because I designed my life that way. I love what I do. And we're growing year over year, we're crushing it, we don't it's but for me, like I got really clear that for me freedom and space and time was what made me feel alive and able to deliver better than working a gajillion hours a day with my eyes cross making bajillions of dollars and being miserable. So just having that brave moment to stop. And so if this doesn't feel right, can I identify why? And do I have the audacity to maybe reinvent and do new gameplan and maybe it is stepping back maybe it is shrinking verse expanding, maybe it's not always up up up the ladder, but climbing off the ladder and find a new peak. You know, and I think that's really a lot easier said than done. Especially when we're in the area of like, Instagram comparison. And everyone you know fake IDs, they make it and hustle culture. And if that's not for you, or if it is, the most important thing is to identify that this is your game plan. This is your journey is no one else's. And people on their deathbed are not going to give a shit about Instagram likes, or how many people you had in your list. What you're going to care about are the times and the moments, and those feelings of success. And so just look at how you are setting up your life. And if you are feeling like it is less than it is lacking is not what you want it to be. It's in your control to change it. If you're not changing. You really are freaking choosing. I mean, it's it sounds so cliche, but it is the dang truth. And that's one thing, the pandemic really pushed people it's like change. When you get too comfortable. Then I get bored. And I'm like, Yes, so comfortable. We need to do something else or lay, like pivot to doing something else. Because when you're bored, it's just it's not fun anymore. And that's why like my whole thing is like, be present. Our stories are so incredibly similar, where we had so many clients and so many events and doing so many things. And there's always money in the bank, but it's like if you can't enjoy it and you can't show up to your family.
And you can't be present. And you can't be fun and you're always controlled by clients and work. Totally. That's not real life. Totally. That is not I don't know how that would be enjoyable for anybody. Yeah. So having less sometimes is actually better. But I know for myself, like, I had to go through all that and figure it out. Like I had it telling me like, yeah, are you doing Why are you taking saying yes to everything? Yeah. So I really had to sit down and be like, okay, I can't do this anymore. I'm like, losing my shit. My hair's falling out. I can't Yeah, like, you kind of have to hit rock bottom. And then it's like, okay, let's get back up. And let's implement change, which for a lot of people, change is hard. I, every time I go to a conference, and I come back, I think my team's like, Oh, my God, what is she gonna change now? Yeah. Like, they're like, Can we just stick with one thing for like, a year and see? Yeah, it's working. And, you know, because I am like, scroll, scroll, scroll, which I need. Yeah. So you know, don't just give up. But when when you're actually not passionate, and you're not happy. And your GPS is telling you go a different way. It's okay. Like, this is your permission. If you're waiting for that sign. It's okay to do something different. Yeah. I love how you said don't compare. Like, you never know what is going on behind the filters and behind some of the social stuff. Yeah. And it's one of the reasons I really like Tick Tock not that like, I know, not a lot of people aren't Tick Tock like for business. But it's actually, I've actually learned more on Tick Tock in 15 second, increments about like, how to cook because I'm not a good cook, and how to do like weird little things. But it's such a more like forgiving platform where people are like, just making fun of themselves and be silly and stupid. And we need silly in our lives. Sometimes it doesn't always have to be like, so business and so perfect. Because, yeah, life. Yeah. No, I love that. And I think, um, you know, first of all, I am also an instrument of Tick Tock person, I'm Instagram rails, I do love my rails. But I will say like, kind of just going back to what you're saying earlier, when we talk about the levity that's needed in these times when we talk about the light that is needed in dark times. For each of us, I think if you're at a crossroads, and you're not sure whether you should level up or scale back, whether you should add more, or subtract, which can be harder than adding much more hard. I would say that the one tangible action step that made all the difference for me when I've been at my toughest crossroads, is to really examine my personal mission statement. And my personal mission statement is not a bunch of buzzwords that sound like some corporate blah, blah, website. But it's basically like three pieces of criteria. And when you're looking at the decisions to hire, to fire to work with the clients, do the family time to whatever, you want to run it through those three non negotiables. And for me, maybe you're a perfectionist, and you have to hit all three good for you better person than me, if I hit two out of three, I'm like, let's really think through if we should green like this, because it's probably a good use of our time. And for me, ours are, it's very simple. Our first one is to help people. The second one is to have fun. And the third one is to make money. So if we're, if we're having fun, we're helping people making money, it is a home run, you cannot go wrong, we try to have at least two with every decision our team makes. And so I think we have it on post it notes, which is like pretty like not fancy. But if you aren't really sure how to figure out what that looks like for you write it down, write down the three non negotiables for your personal professional life that if you can hit three out of three, you just can't go wrong because you're staying close to that GPS. It's kind of like the turns the inner navigation, the guidance that your intuition does know I mean, is individual and you do know. So I think just authorizing yourself, not giving yourself permission but authorizing yourself to identify those three is such a great way whenever you get lost in the woods, just check back and re anchor on that personal mission statement to help figure out some of these complicated answers to business and lives. trickiest conundrums. That's so good. And y'all I know I'm like get rid of the notes. But when it comes to when it comes to things like this, even myself, like I go to our whiteboard, and I write it out, like I need to see it. And something happens in your brain when you like write it out. And like I'm all about doing that to make sure that you are making the right decisions for your life. Yeah, and and which if you're not okay with yourself, and if you're not taking care of yourself, then how are you going to take care of your business and a selling them out there because that's exactly what she's to say to me.
Take care of anybody if you're not taking care of yourself. And I'm like, Oh, I'm fine. I'll sleep and I die. And it's like, No, you you need, you need sleep like your body needs you to take care of you before you can show up and take care of anybody else. Thanks for having me. And it's so nice to meet your audience and your tribe. And I love what you're doing. And today, it was just super fun. So thanks for the invitation. And I saw you on my podcast next week introduce you to my highlighters they're gonna love you. I love it. See y'all in the show notes. We're gonna put all the links of where to get the book. And you can also go to big deal offer dot Aaron King calm and we've got something there for you to check out as well. And I know you hang out on Insta and you're Aaron King on clubhouse. So if you guys haven't iPhone, and you hang up on clubhouse go follow Aaron over there. And thank you so much for your time. This was awesome. So much fun. Angela. Thanks again. Y'all Be sure to tune in next week for another episode of business unveiled. That's it for this week's episode of business unveiled. Now that you have all the tools that you need to conquer the world and GSD get shit done. Would you share this with your friends and fellow business leaders? One thing that would really really help us and help new listeners is for you to rate the show. And leave a comment and Apple podcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you tune in and listen to business unveiled. You can check out the show notes at Angela proffitt.com slash podcast and link up with us on social media so you can share your biggest insights. And I want to know your aha moments. Until next week, remember, the profitable shifts and structures you're creating in your business help you be more present in your life. So get out there and GSD