She's an event planner, a community builder, a speaker, she transforms spaces, and most importantly, hearts. They're experienced design and purposeful planning, which is so onpoint that's my thing. I love it. With a background in civil engineering. Yes, she's an engineer. She brings her brilliance of problem solving and strategic thinking and design transformation and just transforms these experience into these amazing things. And her company also has an epic podcast. It's amazing. But as a voice for military, the military community specifically, she holds the title as the 2020 2021, a FY Air Force spouse of the year and advocates to strengthen military marriages on her internationally broadcasted podcast hearts and stripes. She's the founder of military Marriage Day a national holiday celebrated annually on August 14, y'all she just got back from the White House is a big deal. So Bree, Carol, welcome to the show. Brene I've been friends for years, like years and years and years. And like, I've watched you blossom, and I went through the same thing. And so whenever Amanda got your one sheet, and I was like looking at I was like, oh, like you have just leveled up so much. And it's hard to transition. Yeah. And so that's what we're gonna be talking about today is either transitioning, both focused, or you know, I know a lot of people to that will do what they're still doing. And then you know, dabble in things, but it doesn't grow as quickly when you don't focus and we'll put out the right message. So recare Welk Show today, Angela, thank
you so, so much. I am really excited to chat with you. And this really feels like a full circle moment. Because even as I was looking back to prep for the, for the interview, I just was like, let me see when we actually connected. So I started listening to the podcast. So everyone who's listening, I am a fellow listener, I started listening in 2018. So that's when it was still wedding unveiled. And then yeah, what is it the 22nd of January and 2019 is when you had that strategy one day, and I was so excited because I at that point, I'd committed to like, Oh, I'm going to be an you know, I'm actually going to be a BA in business. We're going to take it seriously at the time, I was still full time as a civil engineer. So I have that background working for the Air Force. And then I ran my business part time. And I was in wedding. So I was like, oh, strategy day to start off January. I'm all in so I went to the strategy day, it was phenomenal. We went all over the things and I think what really drew me to you, Angela, and probably those who are listening is your focus on efficiency. And but not just that, but the reason behind it like I love when you share the story of how you switched over from paper to using cloud based software's that spoke to my law, engineering heart because it also frees you up to one be able to look at data to better manage your business but to it gives you back that quality of life that I think people are really looking for in any business and industry. So that was 2019 went to the session. It was amazing. I will aside I Angela a little bit because she was the pivotal person who was just like your community is the military. Lean in on that. And you were emphasizing me niching down and talking to my community. And when I tell you and I don't even know if you know but that has paid off in so many different ways to Flash forward to today. I am the founder of military marriage day. So I created a holiday that is nationally recognized. We've got presidential proclamations working on working on a presidential proclamation. We've got 18 state proclamations, and it's serving our military community. Because even as I did that transition out of serving wedding clients, I still knew that I had a heart for the community. And I mean, my favorite part of a wedding anyway, was the vowels. So I was like, How do I create something that keeps my foot like in that area, but allows me to focus on areas of creating experiences in military marriage, they ended up being one of those things. And then, I guess the second part of that with the military community, because I listened to your advice. I also got my feature in bride magazine, talking specifically some military ceremonies and weddings. So that is like, that was something that I experienced in 2019 implemented and to see how that one nugget from that strategy session bloomed into what is today like, this major holiday, and I just came from the White House and doing all this stuff like to advocate for the military community. It's just, it's just been really amazing to see how that one nugget has, like, turned into so many different things.
I'm to it, like gives me chills, literally. I feel like, Yeah, I mean, I remember when we were talking, and you weren't even trying to tell me like that you were a military wife. Right? Just looking. And I and I think I shared with you. And, you know, that's talked about a lot. But I'm like, I was married to someone in the military. And as someone who didn't grow up in that family, and again, everything happens for a reason, right? So it's like, what you sharing that story with me is like, you know, people are like, Oh, you're a divorce wedding planner. And it's like, oh, I don't look at it like that at all. Right? It's a trains. Good guy he wanted. He was in the guard. He wasn't in the military full time, which I believe your husband was in the military. So yeah. But you, you and I went to I think I think I told you this with the wives meeting the very first time y'all I was young. I was 21 years old. Okay, so and when you don't grow up around it, it is like so incredibly shot foreign. Yeah. And yes, what's your shop? And so I left that meeting, and I'll never forget driving home because it was like an hour and a half away. And I called my mom and my parents that I'm like, I don't belong with these people. Like, we're, I'm like, first one of them. Really. They have a lot of children. And they don't really work. And they don't have I was the only one in the group that had not only did have a job at the hospital. I taught gymnastics and a half microphone reading.
Yes, yes. And I
just couldn't relate. And so when when I met you, and you were telling me all these things, I'm like, why are you not educated? I'm like, because there's people like me. I mean, we obviously, we were just married for a couple of years. But it didn't work. And it didn't work. Because we didn't have a communication process. Yeah, of how to communicate when you first get married. And then they're just like, peace out, I'm headed to work can't talk to you. Because my job is like, super cool. And it's just like, oh, and like FaceTime. And it just none of that existed back then. Right. So, but like, that's where I'm like you could, what I have learned over the years is we take ourselves for granted with the information we have, because we do it every day. And we think that it's like, that's common sense. You know, and it isn't. And it's like the simplest, most simple information that you pay attention to, and then you actually listen and start implementing where it can completely turn it around. And um, yeah, I remember saying, I'm like, bro, you gotta be like the military girl like, yeah, people because the more important piece to all of this, which, you know, this is that the marriage in the wedding, that's supposed to be the fun part. Everyone's like, Oh, it's so stressful. I'm like, well, we don't make it stressful. But but it's the after the wedding will fall apart and the divorce rates and because there's no type of like, and I'm so glad counseling is like normalized now, because it's like the healthiest thing ever. Absolutely. It's so healthy, but like, I mean, how many couples do you think that you have literally saved their marriage? Because you're working with them on how to better communicate, so it's the aftermath? Or prepping before the wedding? Even more importantly, I mean, you know this about me, I'll look at couples and say, Are you sure you want to get me Right, it's worth, it's worth, you've had this is not like a fun, like, let's play house kind of thing. And again, like, that's the reason why we've transitioned even we don't do that anymore. When we did most of our clients over 30. They're entrepreneurs, they're, they're well educated. And they understand that you both have to show up as the a player in your team and work as a team. And it's like, I just, it's not fun to work with people and help them spend their money when you just know it's not going to work.
Yeah, that is why I made that transition. And I love even following the transition that you've had, as you've started to, like, tailor back on doing less and thence and being really intentional about the clients that you do take on and focus focusing more so on being a GSD leader, right, and teaching and training and, and really working with venues. So I'd love to see that transition. But you're absolutely right, I was the wedding planner, who cared more if you're, if the couple would be together than your freaking linen colors. Like I, I carry that model over into how I frame my events business, even now, it's not just the pretty for me, I believe heavily in strategy. And as it related to a couple, I could not best serve them because I did not want them to spend all of this money on a celebration that I knew would end in heartache if they weren't willing to have the heart, heart conversations first. So military marriage day, that is my way of staying connected to love and in that marriage union. And it was a way for me to, to shine in a really incredible way that I didn't see in myself. So thank you, Angela for pointing that out. With that even came. So that was 2019, when we had the strategy session, in 2020, I was named the Armed Forces insurance Air Force spouse of the year. So here I am being recognized by my community that you had pointed out, and I was just like, what if it was really a no brainer, it was like, Oh, I'm gonna utilize the niche that was already highlighted for me and advocate for military marriage. And that's how it bloomed into this holiday that we celebrate annually on August 14. So so much fun, I still get to use my planner brain for that, because it's really just a big party that like slides in education and counseling things. And the big goal for that is for it to be a festival that couples can come to and we get funding and sponsors and partners who can make it a free experience for those couples and just love on them. So that is that's the full circle from a strategy session to the transition of today. And even now with my company B Carol events, like I mentioned, I transition from weddings. And now I primarily serve b2b And majority of my clients that I absolutely love are thought leaders, their authors, they are people who have communities that are doing within six and seven figures. And they know their message, they have a small but mighty team and I get to come alongside them and bring my planner brain to design experiences that are goal focused, and has a strategy for them to hit the milestones, the the monetary goals or profitability and bring in those efficiencies so that they can execute experience because most of those thought leaders are so busy serving that doing a big events or a virtual event feels like I don't really want to do that I'm going to stick to what I know. And they're leaving a lot of money on the table or a lot of that impact that they could be having with people. They're leaving that unanswered when their communities are craving that so I'm excited that I was able to transition in the pandemic had a lot to do with you know, once everything shuts down in the in the industry, you're like, do I really want to keep doing weddings? I had wedding clients for like two years. Like no thank you. And one of one of which was one not even one both were amazing. Even with the most ideal client it still made me face the reality that I loved personal development even from that first strategy session. I love and respected thought leaders and I could bring something to the equation because I had done the work I'd invested in myself. So a lot of the people who are in these programs with me are like Bri Don't you do events? Can you help me? Can you help me? And it was about listening to my audience and answering that call. So that's how that transition happened.
I mean, it's just I'm so proud of you because even when someone gives you like a little nugget, like you have to go in and do the fucking work. You got to open it you got to be consistent. You every time I got Pete It's funny people think like we probably always live on social media because we have, you know, we we pump out consistent content. But I might spend 30 minutes today like just looking, updating, seeing like what's going on with my friends and you're always on your podcast comes up and I'm just I see you like what you're doing and you're consistent. And I'm just like, I'm so happy for you that you listen, like as I know, like sometimes I've COVID has made me so much more like sentimental and cheesy, not cheesy, but like, have more empathy and and realize that, like, we got to take a step back and like, really feel what's going on. Because as entrepreneurs and especially in weddings, because it's so emotional. We just don't I mean, I don't know about you, but I could kind of just like put up a wall and be like, well, this it is what it is. So let's not cry Batman. Yeah, we have to be practical about it. But just how you how you transition. It's just it's so amazing. So I would just say like, you know, when someone says like, why would you go to be to be? I mean, I think you and I both realized it that the time is short, your time is short. And when your loved ones start getting sick, and they pass away, and you look at your life, and you're like, oh my god, do I want to do 200 Weddings this year, where some of them may not end up, you know, really a team. And then or when you can speak and help people and make more of the impact, you know, you really have to choose. You can both but then if you do both, it's not going it's not it deserves more focus. And in this industry, because it is so emotional, especially going to a bunch of conferences. It's like playing everyone in the industry and hospitality as a whole. They need people like us who are sharing real life case story things. It's like, could you imagine another? military wives like coming to me? I'm like, I can't, I don't know, I would send them to you and say go talk to Bre. Because I don't have anything in common. You know, so I can't talk the talk more. Can I have empathy? I have empathy. I just can't get on
or you can't relate? Yes, different.
So you you developed a program around it like the care method. Yeah. And when you tell it like I want you to tell tell? Absolutely.
So as I made my transition, and really during the pandemic, I leaned into personal development, and really gleaned from a coach named Patrice Washington, she's amazing. Because she took Yeah, exactly. She it was like, complimentary, because she believes in the Six Pillars of Wealth and how and it's something that I see you live out which I'm just like, ah, all the alignment from all of my fairy god, mothers, guiding me through my business. But I looked at just creating a process around what I do, as I'm a planner, and just in my day to day life. And what I've come to find out is that you have to care about whatever it is that you're trying to go after, if you're going to hit that goal. So that's the acronym that I utilize it's care C ar e, the first step is careful consideration. So if your goal is a an event, it is visualizing what the event might have the details like that's great, most people stop there. But what does it feel like to execute it because as I work with thought leaders, they want ease to come about with their event, which means maybe not leveraging their existing team to get that done, and really getting a clear picture. And carefully considering not only what the end goal is but what it takes what is the cost, which is also why I kind of made that transition, right from weddings to business because they have a budget, they're more data focused, they're more driven in those areas. So that's the first step is careful consideration and anyone who's listening feel free to jot these down because you can utilize this in a myriad of situations so careful consideration, assess the foundation is the second step. So that looks like what are your limiting beliefs around you hitting this goal? What are your limiting beliefs around achieving the thing or what are the pictures that you've been like seeing that has you believe that Oh, to be a business owner or an entrepreneur, it's hard. You may be only looking at people who are on this hustle and grind cuz culture, you might need to look at the foundation, those beliefs, those images, those, those the highlight reel that we get served and dig some of that up so that you can replace it with a foundation that's firm. And, and so that you can to build upon, and I think that's what I that's the deep work of this process, when it comes to assessing that foundation, because you have to get honest with yourself about what you want, what you don't want, and what you're willing to do to make it happen. The third step, reinforce the structure. Listen, this is all about boundaries and setting yourself up for success. Angela can totally let you know tons of ways to do this. But just to highlight a couple, it's really creating guardrails for you to accomplish your goal or accomplish a thing. So whether that looks like you have times on your technology, where at times you out on social media, because it's going to keep you from hitting your goal, that guardrail may look like a scripture that you rely on. And you go back to when you need to build your faith and build your hope that reinforced structure could like it, be it an accountability partner, or as I like to say, my business besties, who don't mind tapping me on the shoulder and saying, you said you were gonna post every day, I don't see you on here, what's going on. So reinforcing the structure is huge. And it has a lot to do with the B word, which is boundaries. But please know that the boundary is for you and not for other people, you have to enforce the boundary, because they could care less if you establish the boundary today or not, but it's something that you need to commit to. So reinforcing the structure is hugely important. And then the last E is engage and trust, which is my favorite part, because that's when we put our combat boots on this process. And we have to take action, you can plan, you can dream all day long, but nothing is going to happen if you don't take hash action. So you have to engage, you have to implement the plan, you have to lean on those reinforcements, you have to go back and enforce those new mindsets that you had to do and trust, which is a huge one, you have to trust yourself. And that can feel really new to some people who maybe are relying on someone else social media, someone who's made it to tell them what to do, you have to believe it for yourself, you have to believe that you are capable, that you have everything that you need to accomplish a thing. And you can go out and and trust the plan that you the process that you put in place. So that you can execute so that C A R E, careful consideration, assess the foundation, reinforce the structure and engage in trust, that is the care method.
I love it. It and some of the steps to it at least like as I go through my own transition things, it's like when I lose passion. Um, you know, like you said, the hardest thing for myself, I don't know about you is being honest with yourself. Yeah, because you know, I don't look at I don't get into the numbers, I don't get into bank account, I don't you that's why we have an accountant. But when I do have to get into that stuff, it is, you know, in the bank accounts going down, down down, because you're saying no to the things that you're just not passionate about anymore while you're trying to build something else. And then it's like, you know, getting the messages of will, you might want to consider taking an event or two. And I'm like, that just it just takes the focus away from what you're trying to do and what your team wants to support you to do. So you can show up and serve more people. But I will say that the one that sticks out to me the most that you're talking about is the mindset piece. And and this has been really hard because and I don't know if you see this and in some of the people that you work with in the military, but I do think that the military has some great programs to help support people and like the communication and in a lot of different areas. I know they have some great chaplains and things like that. But the difference is is those the chaplains they've never been where the client is. So it's really hard to talk about the feeling. And so I've noticed that until a business owner or business leader is experiencing that emptiness. They're not going to understand like, why you are trying to help them focus on this other thing, right? Yeah. So being on in sitting still, like, um, I mean, I've been going constantly for 10 months, and then you know, I get to come home and I get to sit still and I get to look at things that I haven't looked at in 10 months and I'm like, Wait, what is going on here? I'm like, what is happening? I'm like, is this process still working? Like why are we doing there like to talk to do that? I'm like to sit down wellness, and and they insure changes all the time. So I really I love what you're doing Like, because you're helping people with like the internal work, which is the hard part. But you make it fun. And I mean, I like to make it fun too. I'm like, Dad, like, turn on some music like, you know, but you make it fun, approachable, you're not judgmental, which, again, like every industry, you know, they're judging people or sizing them up. No matter how much money you have, or what you do that doesn't define who you are as a person. And Money can make you happy, and another person can actually not make you happy, you have to be happy with first. And then you can spread all the positivity. But I just I love I'm a huge like acronym person, because it keeps me focused. And just like, one of our new acronyms is pattern like, what's the pattern going to be, you know, the strategy around it, but then you have to follow a pattern to make sure the outcome is going to be where you want it to be. Exactly, exactly. People are just like, if we as leaders, we don't ask ourselves until someone else asked us, like, what do you want? Like, how many things do you want to do like, and to sit down alone by yourself and think about it, and then put a strategy together is just not very fun or motivating. But when you get in a room of people, yet, we know we all need to take the time to do it, you should do it once a year. Which is why we used to do combo stuff. And like, you know, do that annual retreat. It looks a little bit different this year for multiple reasons. But it's just reassessing all of those things. And then it's an easy acronym for people to remember like, am I taking care of myself? And like, are we hitting these or boxes are these people are like, Oh, they're letters. I'm like, oh, no, it like means the world to me, because I can actually like remember stuff, which is not always, you know the case. So it's just like creating the recipes and creating the life doesn't have to be hard. You know, I see this thing pop up all the time. That's like, choose your heart. Like being fit is hard. Being overweight is hard. Being married, it's hard not being married is hard. You know, I'm at the age where a lot of my friends, they've been married and divorce some more than once more than twice. And, you know, people look at it as such a negative thing. And I'm like, I kind of felt like sometimes marriage should be like a car lease, or like every two years, it's like, okay, is this still working? So we're like, okay, if it's not working, do we want to go through, like personal development stuff together. Because if you're not on the same page as a couple, and then you're not on the same page with your boss, or your co workers in work, it's like, you can be pretty miserable. Even when you have plenty of money you're super fit is that's why it's like you can't ever look and like judge judge a book by its cover? Do you have any like, like a story that just sticks out in your head where it's just like, oh, gosh, if this if this couple didn't go through this, like there's there's just no telling, like where they would be. That was just like life changing that you could it's like your favorite story,
I think, especially as it relates to the military side. So and to back up a lot. I love working with that military five year military marriage date, and we're actually walking alongside some friends of ours currently. And unfortunately, just the change in mission and what his work had him do really call triggered him to, like lean into drinking very heavily. So what I like to educate people on is in the military life, if you look up what the top stressors are, you'll find that that is our every three years like change, loss of job or change of job like we we experienced that all the time moving is a top stressor we do that. Maybe every year, sometimes or or three years. It just depends on what branch like these top stressors, loss of friends or like health issues like these are things that we're dealing with on a regular basis, because service member can be put in harm's way or just regular life stuff, right? And it is something that I've seen in this particular couple where life is just happening. And he had a issue with alcohol and she was going back and forth and she was actually pregnant at the time and she was going back and forth of July. I want to be there to support him but like I'm about to have a baby I don't know what the heck is going on. Like if I if I say something to his leadership, he can get in trouble if I don't say something like what don't happen with us, so we are currently walking with them through that season. And man, he got the help that he needed. He's showing up for his family. And it's just one of those things where had, like, I not been doing the work that I'm doing, like educated on where to point them in the right direction, or just being a listening ear to them. I'm just like, they would have been another statistic because the military field is rated as one of the top career fields with the highest divorce rate like it is right up there. I think bartending was like the next one, which I was like, Yeah, I can see how bartender maybe, yeah. But it was, it was one of the top divorce, it's one of the career fields that have the highest divorce rate. So that is, that is the first kind of story that kind of comes to mind. That's like, if we didn't lean in on communication, if we didn't get really specific on our goals, from a couple standpoint, like this could be the end result, as I work with my thought leaders who are coaches and in in in industry, the top thought that comes to mind with not using a care approach was a client that I had to fire, who is an amazing person in personal development. But she did not trust the process, looking right and left at what everyone else was doing. And she wanted to mimic events, and wanted me to just be on board to just do a, if she didn't have a focus goal that she was working through, I asked her about her numbers, her sales for the event, she didn't want to again, she just bought the system, but the entire time. And as much as she enjoyed the process, or she enjoyed or communicated enjoying working with me, we got to the first warning sign where I was like, Oh, I'm gonna have to fire her after this. We resolved it. But then the second time, I had to let her know like we can no longer work together. And then it became a well, what about this? And what about this? And what about this, and I was like you should have been listening to me, I've been trying to tell you because now I cannot be held responsible for the delays, and the lack of decision making the lack of trust in yourself, not allowing the shine in the way that you could allow your team to shine. And it's really sad because we look at these thought leaders and not all because by all means most people check out. But you'll look at these thought leaders and think that they have it all together. And I felt like I'm not just your planner, I'm your coach at this point. Because I have to remind you the importance of communication, following the care method leads you to an end result that you say you want. But if you're looking at what somebody else has as what you want, that's not unique to you, you have to utilize a strategy, whether it's in relationships, or whether it's in business that makes sense for you. Angela gave me information and a recommendation to run with the military community. You can't look at me working with my community and then say, Oh, I'm gonna do something for the military, it won't be aligned. And I think oftentimes, people can look at how even your transition through the years and be like, Oh, I'm just gonna do what Angela is doing. And it's like, if it's not a fit for you, if it's not strategic to how you want to live your life, if it's not strategic to how you want to operate your business like, then leave it alone, I think it can be a comparison can be a huge distraction for couples and for businesses really. And that's why I want to lean more so and just communicate a message that look it is okay to be uniquely yourself to be authentic to shine in your niche, you're not gonna make less because I am happy to say after I left my government job, my first year in business full time I was over the six figure mark for the first year which is not the norm it is not heard of. But it is because I stay true to what was authentic. For me. I knew I had to leave weddings if I was going to make the impact that I wanted to make and work with thought leaders I knew to show up bigger for my military community. I can't be cutesy with linen. I needed to start connecting them with lawmakers and our government officials so that they can pour resources into the community to truly make a difference in the couple's lives. And I can't be your planner and telling you that you need counseling that you might fire me so I had to do what was aligned for me and I think in both of those cases, it's caring. It's about caring about what you want, and caring about your goals and not looking at someone else's and making their goal your goal. It's about you and it's okay. The journey is gonna look different for everyone out there, just like the journey has looked different for me as a military spouse, heck, I am moving in the summer, I have moved almost every the past couple of years. So I had to figure out what works for me and how I run my business. Because it has to be mobile, I cannot do what the average person says of work on my SEO for the area, that doesn't work for me, I'm gonna be gone in a year. So it's being strategic. And if anyone could get a takeaway from from all of this, it is transition is okay. Lean on a strategy and care about your goals.
I love it. This has been I'm just I'm so I love like seeing like, I mean, you're always happy and fun. But it's like, I feel this whole new like energy around where you just, I, you know, you hear people say, follow your passion and the money will come. And I'm like, I want to vomit when I hear that because it's like, it can come but it takes a plan. And it takes time. It takes consistency in a strategy. So and you know, people just leave it out. So people want to connect with you tell them where and how they can connect and learn more.
Absolutely. So anyone who is like, Oh, she said something about the military, and I never hear anything about the military. Check out military marriage day, even if you're a brand, and you're someone who's like, Hey, I would love to contribute to this movement. Or if you are a military married couple check out military marriage de.com. We're also on Instagram. It's like my favorite place to play for all the things and to connect with me and find out more about my events, business. Be careful events, you can find me at B Carroll events on Instagram, LinkedIn and all the places.
I love it. This was so much fun. Thank you so much for your time. Thank you so awesome. And if you're listening or watching, thank you so much for your time today. And again, like we said, like please reach out and like any question that you think is stupid, or something that you're dealing with, like I promise you, we've been there, like, reach out because we there's nothing I hate it when people are like, I hate to bother you. But I'm like you're not bothering me. Like you know, we we actually want to help. So we'll put everything in the show notes with all of the website and all the links so that you guys can connect with Bree and everybody have a GSD day and I'll catch you next week.