5 Bad Reasons to Ask Someone to be a Bridesmaid

We totally get it, picking your bridesmaids is tough. If it were easy, there wouldn't be a billion articles on how to get it right, right? You're scared to upset your sister-in-law or nervous that your childhood bestie will feel slighted if she doesn't get the invite. While there are so many valid reasons to pop the question, unfortunately these 5 should never, ever be one of them.

1. She's family so you feel obligated to.

Whether it's a first cousin you grew up with or your brother's new wife, just because you're related doesn't necessarily mean you must include her in your bridal party, particularly if the two of you aren't close. You can always ask her to participate in your big day in some other meaningful way (perhaps she can do a ceremony reading) if you dread the family drama that's bound to ensue by completely leaving her out. Be careful though, as this method has the potential to backfire and enrage her even more, depending on the person.

2. You were guilt-tripped into it.

Ugh, isn't this the worst? It's so hard when someone is genuinely so excited to be in your wedding and just assumes they will be, yet you're not nearly as excited about asking that person, nor did you have any intentions to do so in the first place, that is until now. Stick to your guns and be as upfront and honest about the situation as early on as possible. Maybe you're keeping the guest list short and sweet, and therefore your bridal party will be too. Whatever the reason, definitely don't get guilt tripped into adding an extra or you may wind up resenting that friend in the long run.

3. You were a bridesmaid in her wedding.

Remember: there's no hard and fast rule that says if you were in someone else's wedding then they absolutely have to be in yours. Yes, it's the “safe” choice and the perfect way to avoid confrontation, however if it's not what you truly want, we'd highly advise against it.

4. The two of you used to be really tight.

But now you're not so much anymore, and it would almost be awkward if you asked her to play such a big role in your big day. It's normal for friends (even the best of them) to grow apart. Chances are, she's noticed the changes in your relationship too and isn't expecting you to pop the question.

5. She's perfect for the part.

Including a friend in your bridal party for superficial reasons (she's really pretty, super photogenic, would look killer in the bridesmaid dress you picked out, etc.) is just as bad as excluding someone for them. We're warning you, don't be that bride(zilla)!

This article was written by Elizabeth Mitchell for Brides.com.
Photo: Kristyn Hogan

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