Angela, thank you so much for having me on the show, I am really pumped to talk about this topic. And you're so right. It's something that in the creative industry, especially for those of us that are solopreneurs or have very small teams, we have this mindset that we have to do it all on our own and all of the decisions have to be made by us. But you have to have some people to help you. And there's also some people you shouldn't have helping you.
Yeah, and my biggest thing is like, even for like young entrepreneurs and people that are working in startups that come from families that are not entrepreneurial, and constantly I'll hear when my mom says this, or my dad says this, remember, I'm like, how many companies have they started? Why are you taking like, no disrespect, but it's done it. Why are you giving people advice? Because you only know what you don't know. But before we jump into all of that, can you give a little bit of background because you have a couple of different companies and and everyone that's listening and watching give them some context around what you do and how you've gotten to where you are today?
Yes, of course. So I got my start in the hotel side of the industry working for Marriott right out of college in I spent about four years working through some of the least glamorous positions that you can imagine front desk, banquet operations, I wore actually ahead of uniform as a banquet operations manager where I wear a men's red suit coat with like shoulder pads and everything. Tried to make that cute, it was not really possible. But after that, I transitioned into the catering and sales side of Marriott. And back in 2010. I had just gotten married. And I was kind of feeling that like I need to figure out like what comes next I've been in the hotel side. What do I do after this? So I reached out to a local planner in my market here in North Carolina for what I thought was going to be a job interview. And I had my resume and references from past clients and I got there to the coffee shop where we're meeting. And I sat down and I waited and I waited and I waited and it was like 1015 minutes after we're supposed to meet. She came in sat down in the chair next to me and said, Listen, I don't have any positions that I'm hiring for. I'm actually looking for someone to take over my business because I'm totally burned out of this industry. And I'm moving in four months up to DC and I have some weddings on the books and I need someone to cover them.
Like okay,
I remember that feeling of like well, crap, I guess I shouldn't have brought my resume. This is not going to be like what I'm supposed to be doing, I'm not meant to take over a business that I haven't worked in before. And I went home to my husband. Remember, we'd been married like three weeks at this point. And I was like, Dang, this did not turn out to be the opportunity that I wanted it to be. And my husband was like, now, you are meant to do this. This is that leap of faith that we have to take, and you'll hear this come up later in the episode that we're going to talk about. But we took out a small business loan, I left my full time job, I took over this business, which the story could end there. And it goes on. But the interesting side of taking over an existing businesses, I also took on all of the issues and reputation points that had not come up in the sale of the business that had to be worked out. And it will actually be 11 years this month since I took over that business. And now I still have the planning business. But I also help up and coming wedding planners, hopefully avoid some of those struggles and pain points that come along with business ownership that I did not have the resources and guidance for when I was there over a decade ago.
And like this space, like just in hospitality and weddings and events, if you talk to so many people, it's like you don't really go to school to like, learn I mean, you can go through a hospitality program, but working at Hotel great foundation, learn how to customer service, learn how to work with people communicate with people. But it is such a creative business where people either fall into it, or it's their passion. And they love helping people or they're good decorators, or they're just really organized. And so the business side of it doesn't seem as natural, at least it wasn't for me. And isn't it crazy though, how we build other businesses based out of a need that we wish that we would have? When we started
so much so and from all of the mistakes and learning lessons and everything that we had to do the hard way. I think that's where I love what you do with your community, because it's like you are helping those people avoid some of those struggles or skin knees or bumps and bruises that come along by providing like helpful content that is going to grow their business faster and more efficiently.
Yeah, and it's again, it's all like trial and error. And it's like, oh, yeah, some of this you can't you there's no, when I went to college, online courses, consultants, mentors, coach, like that really didn't exist. Same. I just it's so different now. Which is great, because you can really fast track and 10 acts like, oh, it's like, oh, no, don't do that. I've been there, don't do that. Like,
it's gonna take you two years in the wrong direction.
Right. And it's so bad things are so different. But like, it's it's a great thing. It's a great space to be in. And so when did you realize, though, that you couldn't do it by yourself, and you needed people around you who were not like you, in order for you to move forward and grow your business? like at what point? Did you realize that? Yeah,
that's a great question. I think it was probably around year two. So the first two years, I just put my head down, and it was hustle mode, for sure. And then I realized that you can only hustle so long until you are tired and overwhelmed. And getting that sense of like burnout and not quite knowing like what direction you want your business to go in. I think that's where it started to the idea of a circle of trust, or an advisory board, people that you can turn to for advice and guidance. That was probably around that two year mark that I started to think about it in that capacity that like oh, I can't be the CEO, the CFO, the HR, the board of advisors, the hiring, the firing, all of those things, like you have to have people that you can lean on to help you grow or else the growth is going to be it may still be there but it's going to be slower and more painful, if that makes sense.
Yeah, and probably very costly. Like yes, I think of how much money was wasted and I'm not talking about the time that was wasted, but the actual money was wasted. And it is so painful, like so painful. But at what point did you say? Or did you learn about advisory boards? Or? Like, did you get involved in a community group? And then you served on their board? And you saw the value in that? And then you're like, I need to do this for my business. But what what what did that experience and that journey look like?
I think it was that. So I was involved with my local nice chapter on the board here. And I think it was the idea of like, Oh, it's so interesting that you can have different opinions. And not everyone has to agree. And you can look at things from a different perspective. But then you do have to have that one person that is going to say, Okay, I've heard all of these opinions. And at this point, this is the direction that I'm going to take my business in or take this decision in. I also think it was hearing so many opinions from people and realizing Wow, just like weddings, just like having a baby. Just like being a business owner, as you mentioned, people who often have an opinion and want to have a say in what you do that don't necessarily deserve to have that say, to have that seat at the table. So having so many conversations and starting to discern like, okay, you can have these conversations, but you can't put stock in every opinion that is given to you in your business, you have to determine who are the people that you put the stock into, and who sits at that table of your proverbial advisory board of your business.
It's so important, especially for small business owners, because sometimes it's like really lonely, it's like you feel like you're out there all by yourself. And in depending on what you do, and what industry you're in, until you actually go through it and experience or do an internship or work in it. You don't really know like, behind the scenes, what happens and all the emotional stuff that comes along with it. And what's nice about an advisory board or having even a community of people that do the same thing that you do, to be able to work together and grow together and help each other through those things, I think is a really healthy place to be. But there's some people in the world they're like, competitor not talking to them. And so having a board that is not even in the same industry, like when I first started to understand, like, we need to do this, I had had it all wrong. I'm like they have to be in our space they have to understand. And that was like, like the worst thing to do. Because actually, it's better to have people who at least this has been my experience from the takeaways is someone that's not in the industry, because it helped me bring clarity to like some of the things and just better communication. But I know that you specifically talk on four different types of people that you want at that table. It's not just warm bodies, very specific, just people
that will listen to you or tell you what you want to hear that does not make up a good advisory report.
No. So what are this for, for people like the personalities? What? What should we be looking for when we are thinking when we really need an advisory board? Yeah, I guess at what point for anybody that has a you know, small business owner can mean a lot of different things. So at what point should people be? Is it like, okay, it's been a year, or it's been two years? Or is it a financial marker? In your opinion? Like, when do you think you need it? And then who are the right people? Mm hmm. Okay,
great questions. So I am going to talk about the four different personality types that most of you that are listening to this, as you're as I'm breaking down these four types, and Angela and I are discussing and I want you to think about the people that are already in your life that are important to you in some way, whether it is a business partner, or some sort of someone that you look up to within the industry, or a spouse or significant other. You're going to identify these people, I think pretty quickly and if you realize like, oh, okay, I have these three types, but I'm missing this person. This is a really good call to action at the end of this episode to be able to say, I'm going to start thinking about bringing This person to my advisory board and as far as when you should do it, I do believe that there is in that first year, you're really trying to figure out like what your business is, is, and also, especially coming out of COVID, a lot of us could be years into business and reimagining who we are in the industry and who we're serving as a client. So it could be your one, but it could easily be your five, your 10 that you're thinking like, Hmm, where am I going now? Like, I've built my business to this certain place, and perhaps the people that have helped me get to this place are not going to help me get to the next level. Do you agree with that? Angela?
100%?
Yes. Okay. So the four different types? Do you want me to list them all out? And then we'll talk about them? Okay. Alright, so the four people to have in your circle of trust, number one is your cheerleader. And this person, as I'm profiling this out, this is not the like, you can do everything? Yes, yes, yes, this person is the person that sees the good and the bad stuff in your both personal and professional life, yet, they're always there to sort of pick you up and push you along, when your reaction perhaps, is to think like, I don't know if I can do it. Or if I have the bandwidth for this, or if I meant to fill this role. So they're on the sidelines for all of the wins and losses, and they have such a positive impact for you that they're always going to push you past your own limiting beliefs. Do you have this person, Angela?
So I would say my I get a new mentor every single year through the entrepreneur organization. And not that there's so much like a cheerleader, but they're definitely the ones that are not like minded, like me at all. And they're going to push, push, push, push, push, like, get uncomfortable, or what's the thing get comfortable being uncomfortable or something like that, but it's just bringing a different perspective to how to tighten things up in the business. And, but but definitely having that person that's going to push you. And you know, everybody does it a little bit differently. But I definitely think you've got to have somebody with an objective mindset that's done it before or done it a few times. Yeah. Before.
Yeah. So I would think that's actually probably going to be person number two, at your guy's airport, which is the challenger. So the challenger is the person that looks at things through a different lens. But ask questions that make you think, right. So that's what you said, they're going to like push, push, push, sometimes there are logistical questions, that makes so much sense. But they are like bubble busting for the ideas of things that you want to do in business. They question your why, and the how behind the decisions that you're making. And they do like they have your best interests in mind. And they're going to help you make smart decisions, but they're not going to tell you exactly what you want to hear as well. That's the Challenger type. And you have to have that person because the cheerleader is important because they're there to say like, Hey, stop having this viewpoint that like you are not able to make this business move, or that you do not have the skill set to get there you do have because we can look back at your past and say these things that you have accomplished. You can't forget those things. But the challenger is going to be a little bit of like the one that is going to push you into answering some of those hard questions that you don't always want to answer when it comes to like growing your business. You want the fluffy and the fun. But the challenge is the one that's going to actually help you make those strategic smart decisions.
And that is so important. Like as a younger entrepreneur, that person in my, in my corner, I would feel myself getting defensive, like or not me even making excuses but like, you don't understand this space doesn't work that way. Like I'm never forget, right? One of my mentors saying, I'm quitting answering your phone and your texts at two and three in the morning. Why are you doing that? Like that's not healthy. There's boundaries? And I'm like, No, you don't understand like these girls like they knew expecting it. 24/7 And he's like, No, you are gonna stroke out before you're 40 like it doesn't work that way. And if you provide great customer service, and it's more about the expectation on the front end, and how you set up the expectation of What your boundaries are. But I didn't know. And I was afraid that I would lose business, but it was not. It was actually the opposite. So once like he helped me put boundaries in place. People respected that the meeting times so much more, because they knew that I wasn't just going to pick up the phone or answer their texts all the time. And and the quality of life cuts so much better. So yes,
yes, yes. So that is like why it is, that is such a perfect example of why it's so important to have that person that's going to challenge the way that you look at your business. Because if you don't have that person, you're going to continue to stay with that same mindset that you mentioned about like, No, you don't understand someone, we have to be available 24/7, which leads to complete burnout on the other end. Okay, the next person now this one, I know you fill this role for so many people, but this is this is actually like a mentor or a coach, this person has gone before you on the path that you are on, has made their own mistakes and has learned from them. And this is what you and I talked about, they're going to help you pop back up quicker and provide guidance about potential hazards or traffic jams in business along the way, they're going to help you find the best route with the least amount of struggle and resistance as it comes to growing your business. And this doesn't necessarily this mentor or coach role. It doesn't necessarily have to be a paid relationship. But it is someone that has experienced in the area that you have experienced and has gone before you down that path.
It's so important. And that goes back to what we were saying earlier, of taking advice from people who've never done it. Oh my god, I mean it. And again, it doesn't have to be the same thing or the same industry at all. But working at the same company for 30 years, from nine to five does there's no experience shares from running your own business and being entrepreneur. It's totally different. And there's just there's so many again, like younger entrepreneurs trying to take direction from from those people, and because they respect them, and they should respect them. But going and finding the group of people who, like you said have done it. It's a complete game changer.
Well, you mentioned that about a mom. And it's funny because I have a very close, very tight relationship with my mom. But I remember back in 2010, when my husband and I decided to take this leap, take out the small business loan, I left a great paying job. My mom had I listened to her, I would not have the business that I have had now for 11 years. She was like, Oh no, don't leave that set paycheck. Stay safe. So I think that there, my mom, as much as I love her so much. I seek advice in the areas that I know that she can add value. But my mom has never run a business. So it's it's exactly what you said of I may go to her for parenting advice, or marriage advice or other types of advice, but business like decision advice? Maybe not.
Same here. In fact, it was my mom and my dad, like, they thought my dad literally looked at me and he was like, Are you on drugs? Why would you leave how care? Like you, you did you went to school? We paid for school? Like what do you mean, you're not? You? What do you mean, you resigned? Like, this is why I didn't discuss it with you because you would have talked me out of it.
And I can always go back. Yes. Like it's okay. Yeah. And you know, it's funny that you say that because after I do this fourth person that you should have on your advisory board, I do have three people that I'd love to discuss that should not be on your advisory board and it's kind of the people that we've talked about already, but the fourth and final person that you want to have on your advisory board or circle trust, whatever you want to call it is your idea amplifier. So this person is in your life and brings a totally different skillset and perspective. They may have taken a different path in life or they may be part of a different industry but they use their skillset and knowledge to amplify what your original ideas and thoughts are so they get excited about your thoughts but they take your your ideas to the next level and I have a great example of one my own idea amplifier my circle of trust, she is in the wedding industry, she owns a wedding venue out in Colorado, she's a podcaster as well. But she is one of those that I can go to her and say, Hey, I have this new idea for something that I want to launch within my business, I'm thinking that it's going to go XYZ. And I've thought about the pros and cons of this. What I love about my conversation with her as my idea amplifier is she always has that mentality of Ooh, it's really great idea. But have you thought about actually shifting it and serving this audience instead, because then that's going to lead to growth in this area that I honestly have not even considered. And she does this time and time again. So she's that one, that when I have a business idea, I want to go to her I want her perspective. She's in the same sort of playground as me, but we don't do the same thing. So she's able to just look at things from a totally different personality, and skill set and bring a different perspective to my business.
It's just, it's so important. And if if you take the defensiveness away, and, and oftentimes with ideas, it's like, you know, you have it's so well thought out. And then if someone throws you a curveball, instead of saying, like, No, I'm gonna, I'm gonna stick to this. It's like, well, then why the hell did you ask me? My ID? Like, why did you tell me your idea? Why did you ask in first place, right.
And I think, you know, it's worth noting that with these personality types, so there's the cheerleader, the challenger, the mentor, or coach role in the idea amplifier, I do believe that these are the four people that when you are making big business moves, or when you are feeling stuck in your business, you need to identify who these people are so that they, you can turn to them and hear their opinion. But at the end of the day, it is you like you are in the driver's seat, and it is your business to do what you want to with it. And one of the reasons why I started really thinking about the circle of trust is, back in 2017, I had the opportunity to go into a partnership in business to open a venue and we were getting really close to signing the contract, we've met with an architect, we're going to have this seven year lease, we returning an old tire garage, we were going to turn it into like this beautiful industrial chic venue. I was pregnant with my third daughter at the time. And the venue had been this long term goal of like when I get when I open a venue, I will have achieved this level of success that I want in my business. And I turned to my circle of trust. And I was talking to my cheerleader and my idea amplifier and my Challenger and I actually did not have a mentor or coach at that time. I actually chose to fill that role after what happened. I'll tell you in just a second. But I, I listened to the opinions, I heard the advice, I heard the pros and cons. And then I decided that it was my choice to make, right like there was a gut voice. And that's, that's the one that I think we often tend to ignore, because we are hearing so many outside voices. But my insight, like my gut was saying, this was a long term goal that you had, but this is no longer part of the script of what you're supposed to be doing in the future. So I walked away from that opportunity. And I remember that feeling of like just feeling 50 pounds lighter after saying like, this is not the right thing for me right now. So yes, you need your circle of trust, you need your advisory board. But you have to remember that at those four seats, there's a seat at the head of the table and that seat is you. And you really really have to take a moment to weigh in on what your own opinion is and what your inner voices saying when it comes to the growth of your business and the direction that you're taking it in.
Yeah, it's like if I'm like, I need to go with my gut. I pull up my horoscope
loveless and I like, what does my
horoscope say today? Yeah. Like, that's how I will make a decision. Because it's like, think about it as a business owner. We have to make so many blipping decisions for other people like for They're things. And then you know, then when it comes to business stuff, it's like, I appreciate it, you know, from our board, like when other people give input, and then personal life, it's like, don't ask me to make any decisions. And no, don't do it. So it's it's funny, but who are the people? We don't want a table. Okay, so
there's three personality types. And I know that when you're hearing these types, you can think of these people and be like, oh, yeah, I've had a conversation with each and every one of them. So the three people that should not have a seat at the table, and if they currently do, it may be time for you to ask them to leave, would be the pessimist. So this is different than the challenger. Because this person has a negative view on everything. And spending time with them is like a life suck, you feel it time and time, again, every conversation, every interaction. And this is someone that should not have a say for sure in the direction that you're taking your business and professional career. So their unhappiness is absolutely going to continue to have a negative effect on you if they have a seat at the table. So pessimist is number one. Number two is the No at all, or the one upper. So this is the person that you're like, hey, I have this business idea. I'm thinking that I might want to start offering this service, and this person is going to be like, Oh, no, I've done that before. And when I did it, they make it all about them. And it's very centered on not helping you grow your business, but more about just talking so much about them and their business growth that it has nothing to do and it's not going to help you grow.
And then yeah, it Yeah, like one toxic or bad at what's what's the same one bad egg will make them all rotten or something like that. Oh, no. It's like, oh, again, it's just the negativity is I can just ruin so many things.
Well, and I think that there's something to be said for empathy and relatability and stories. But that's not the role of this person. Like their stories are not to show empathy or relate to you it is just to make it all about them. They're so focused on themselves. So any advice that they give will not be actually beneficial for you. Okay, and then the last person that you don't want to have a seat at the table is now this is one of my very best friends. So hopefully she won't listen to this episode. The yes person. So this person says yes to everything, like you can do no wrong, you, they will just say yes, like, go for it at all cost. And I love this person as a friend. But they again, not a business owner. And it's different to me than the cheerleader because the cheerleader sees both sides, right. Like they've seen the wins, they've seen the losses, but they're still gonna show up and cheer you on in growing your business. Whereas the Yes, person, it's just everything as a yes. And they're not focused on helping you grow.
Sometimes it needs a know to create space and time for other things to come in, like the right things.
Yeah, yeah, exactly. So those are the three people, the pessimist, the yes person. And the know it all one upper are the three types that you may have them in your lives, I believe that we all do in some fashion, whether it is a relative, or a friend, or just someone that you know, within the industry, that you need to be careful about letting them have a say, or just not filtering the advice that they're giving you. That should not be reaping the center of why you're growing your business and what the goals are. So you can still know them. And you can still have holiday dinners with them, but they should not be having a seat at the table of growing your business.
No, no way. No way. So if someone wants to know how to find these people, if they want to start an advisory board, what are the steps to take to go find these people? And then how do you formally ask them and then like, what are the next steps of like creating an advisory board?
Sure. So I think it starts informally through conversations and relationships that you have in the industry, whether it is networking events that you go to whether it's conferences, you're going to get a sense of people that are going to be a good fit for you based on these different profiles that I've gone through. I think you can make this as formal as you'd like. So if you want to have a formal meeting, and you're having conversations with these people month after month, you can, mine is a little bit more informal. So as I am planning out next goals for my business each year, I weigh in on these different people and ask their opinion, as I needed. And I have a very casual but committed relationship in how I can reach out to them. Like I said, I think you could decide to make this significantly more formal and say, Hey, I would love to grab a spot on your calendar, once a quarter. And if there's anything that I can do for you, as a business owner, as well, if there's some conversation or value that I can add to the growth of your business, I want this to be a reciprocal relationship. But it doesn't have to be that formal, it can be just knowing that like, these are the people that you listen to, these are the people that you're willing to call on and ask insight and advice from as you're growing. But I do think that it has to be balanced, you can't just have one, you have to have all four of these different personality types.
Yeah, it's really important to have the different perspectives. It's even with team members within a business, like having the different team members at the table, to have the right people at the table to support your clients is really important, too.
And that's something that you speak on. You've I've heard you speak up before the different personality types within your team, and just the way that you work with your clients. And I think it's the same for having an advisory board is just making sure that again, as your business continues to grow, I think you should probably reevaluate this advisory board once a year and just make sure that where you started four years ago with these people, are they still the right people to be having a say in where your business goes in the future? or however long that timeframe is? Yeah, I
love that, like putting a timeframe on it. You know, most of the advisory boards I'm on it's four times a year, the term is for a year. And then you know, they reevaluate, because when you go and ask a busy entrepreneur, or someone that you look up to, it's like, sometimes that I'm like, I don't know what my capacity is. And two years is a really long time.
Yeah, but having a year long commitment, saying I would love to just have a conversation with you once a quarter that feels really either doable to someone or not doable based on their bandwidth.
Yep. And again, like things are gonna change within your business, how you're growing personally, professionally, it just to support the goals of growth, if that's what you want. Some of the people at this sitting at the table may not want to continue that. And that's okay. Like, do you listen to Jay Shetty ever?
I am in the middle of Think like a monk, but I have listened to his podcast before.
So you've probably heard him say, like, people are like trees, where you've had the leaves and the seasons and the roots and branches fall off and leaves fall off and their seasons and like people coming go, people are going to come into your life, and they're going to go and as human beings, we're not really taught that it's okay, emotionally, that people are going to come in and out of your life, depending on what season you're in. And so I thought that was an interesting perspective. I heard it on a tick tock. It's just like a 15 minute 15. Second thing I'm like, That makes a lot of sense. Like, that's good. I'm gonna repeat that. But it just makes more sense. Because some people they don't, they're not comfortable with closure, or they think something's wrong. And there's nothing wrong. It's just, it's the next phase. It's it's depends on what phase you're in.
Yeah, it's like seasons of life, just as there are seasons in business for sure.
Yep. This is awesome. This is so helpful. If people want to connect with you, where what's your favorite platform? Where should they? Yeah,
we're gonna say Come find me over on Instagram. You can find me at planners fault or at weddings for religious by podcast.
Awesome, that sounds great. And we'll put all the notes in the show notes, all the links, so that you guys can go and connect with Megan and thank you so much for being here today. This is awesome.
Thank you so much for having me.
Of course and everybody that's listening and watching. Thank you so much for your time and be sure to tune in next week for another episode of business unveiled by y'all. That's it for this week's episode of business unveiled. Now that you have all the tools that you need to conquer the world and GSD get shit done. Would you share this with your friends and fellow business leaders? One thing That would really really help us and help new listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a comment and Apple podcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you tune in and listen to business unveiled. You can check out the show notes at Angela proffitt.com/podcast and link up with us on social media so you can share your biggest insights. And I want to know your aha moments. Until next week, remember, the profitable shifts and structures you're creating in your business, help you be more present in your life. So get out there and GSD