How to Define Your Money Story

Thank you. I get to I just gotta say I had listened to your voice all day long.
So raspier like I I took when I talk like three days strikes seven like speaking doing podcasting. My voice gets super raspy. And I'm like, oh my god, I wake up. I'm like, I sound like a man again. At least to have a voice because for a month back in October was terrible. But anyway, that's thank you that makes me feel a little bit more confident about knows that like a man.
Oh my god, I love it. I'm like, keep talking.
So buddy, so buddy. Well, before we jump in and start talking about these money stories, can you just give us a little bit of a backstory about how you got to where you are today and your journey?
Yeah, so I guess the beginning beginning was funny enough. When I was five years old, I sold pieces of my hair to make money. That was my first but um, yeah, I swear to god, that was my first entrepreneurial venture. Yeah, you would cut your hair. Yes. So how it happened was I was at my great uncle's house for like this big family party. And it had really long hair like down to my butt. And he came up and he's like, I really love the color your hair because it's just like natural Auburn color. And I don't know how I guess kids, you know, kids are they got wild nation. Yeah, the imagination and creativity. So I just like in two seconds was like, I'll sell you a piece for $1. Yeah. And he's like, okay, cute. So cute. I like my hair, cut a little piece got a little plastic bag for them. And then I went around the whole party selling pieces of my hair. So I think I made like, $4 that night. I love it. It was amazing. That's so I always had this like fascination with money. And like, cuz I grew up like middle class. And you know, I had some friends that were bit more wealthy. And I could see that, you know, the more money you have, like, they got to go to Disneyland and like they have to do these things. So I always had this like fascination with it. And no cut to you know, what was it back in 2015 was when I started my coaching business. And in 2016, I decided to pivot and focus solely on the money mindset stuff, because I saw like how important money mindset was, and I saw how much it changed my life and how much it impacted my business. And I realized that so many women were going out there with these unconscious or subconscious, like limiting beliefs and limiting stories really holding themselves back from growing their businesses and it was killing me because I'm sure we've all been there where we know a friend or we know of a business where their product or their service is amazing. But they're not thriving because they're like hiding behind Oh, I don't want to sell or like you're just like, oh my god, your stuff is so good. Can you please just stop and get it out there? Right? So that's where I was with helping, like women entrepreneurs, and I'm just like, Okay, we need to deal with this money thing because this is driving me nuts.
Yep, yeah, yep. Yeah, you saw a problem and you created something to help women really become trouble with it. So, I want to know, like, what's the? Is it like five story steps? Or like? How do we know? As women? If we're in like, the wrong mindset, so like, if someone, and I mean, I'm totally making this up, but it's like if someone asked and like, you know, we deal with constant in money, I actually don't deal with my when people are like, well, what's the deposit? Or what's the retainer? Or what's the next step? Or what's the invoice? I'm like, oh, man, it doesn't all that and LaTanya. Yeah, it wasn't like that all the time. For people who wear all the hats, because at one time, I mean, I did for seven years wear all the hats. Yeah. Can you tell are like how to identify people are just uncomfortable closing a deal?
Yes. So there's Yeah, so something that I think we'll jump to at the end, but like, something I want to give your audience is there's different money personalities. So a couple years ago, yeah, back in 2020. I was fascinated by this thing called sacred money archetypes. And basically it's like a fancy way of saying like, what's your money? Personality? Hello? Yeah, so I got certified as a coach in that. And there's like, it's basically like a personality tests that you can take to see which of the eight archetypes am I and then from there, I have like this little mini course. And I have like a discount code for your audience. To Yeah, to then understand yourself better. And I found it, I was like, I first took it as like a student and then got, that's why I got trained and like, it helped me so much in my business, understand myself. And then also like, I'm married to my wonderful husband. And he took the quiz and he's a complete opposite of me. In the quiz, like his my top one is his bottom and his bottom is my top. So it helped me even just like personally, with my relationship, understand why sometimes we like butted heads on certain things. Yeah. So I love that you said Amanda deals with the money stuff, because one of the money personalities out there is the nurturer. And actually, there's a couple but there's a few money personalities out there that aren't as like, keen on like sending the invoice and like dealing with the money stuff. And that's, that's like not to say that that's bad or anything, but if that's not one's like comfort zone, or like, it doesn't come easily to them, you can hire that out like, Yep, yeah, well, you did it. Say that, that wasn't comfortable for you. But like, if that's something you want to stay away from perfect, right, like ironed out, let somebody else deal with it. So I love it. So yeah, I mean, I think for all business people, we have to have some degree or some level of confidence around invoicing. And, and for some, it's going to come easier, just like, I know, sports or music or whatever, you know, like some people are going to be more gifted than others. But it as business owners, it is our responsibility to step up and be like, I'm available and willing to receive money, and I'm gonna, you know, send the invoice or get this contract or, you know, because I think like, You got to own that shit.
Yeah, you do? You did. And, I mean, it is what it is like, you don't, I don't know, what kind of helped me in the beginning of like business is thinking about you don't walk into a store and buy a pair of jeans and late like you walk in, you pay for something. But then in a service based business, we're supposed to feel some different way that it is a service versus a product and only know your service. So is freaking product, people will pay for it. Like it's not free. Like that's your time. But people just aren't there yet sometimes, or they don't feel like, in fact, I was just talking to a girl and she's like, but I don't have a degree in that. I'm like, that's your limiting belief. Yeah, like, what you You're amazing. Like, you're naturally amazing at these things. You don't need to go to school for it. Like, you know, my entrepreneur brain is like turning, but it's just I know that like anybody listening, there's probably somebody listening or watching that just doesn't feel comfortable talking about it. And so, if you can overcome those hurdles, and overcome those challenges, and quit self sabotage, pushing yourself, you will grow your income like that is the the result of doing something differently. So tell us about many stories. What is it?
Yes. So, um, before I do that, I want to give a quick tip to your audience. Because like you said, this person said, you know, I think a degree in that or whatever, like, call it out cause a limitation. So in that case, I might be like, I'm not educated enough to you know, start a business which, like, in my world, I, some of my clients have a limiting belief of I'm not educated enough to be rich, like just plain and simple, right? Well, so hell, right. Yeah. And so my Little tip is to take this, like plug and play kind of statement of like, even though I fill in the blank, even though I feel I'm not educated enough, or even though I feel like I don't have enough experience, whatever it might be, to be, you know, to be wealthier to start this business, then you follow it up by saying, like, I get to do it anyway. I love that. Right?
I do in the ship anyway. Yeah,
yeah. Like I have this I have this exercise that I do, or this like little thing that I do with my clients where I call, I won't curse your name, but the effort like, oh,
I don't care. I Okay, listen, every other word out of my mouth, people who know me and listen to this, like, I grew up with my dad being like, funk, funk, fuck, like, it's just ingrained. It's just who I am, like,
okay, good. So it's called the exercise. And it's really liberating. Like, I literally had someone at a live event that I did once start a business from this exercise, where you write out the limiting beliefs, in this case, like, manage key enough or like, I need more experience or you know, I don't have enough, you know, resources to start, whatever. So you write out a limitation or like, people will judge me and you cross it out. And then you just literally say, Fuck it. That's it. It's like the simplest little exercise ever. Fuck it. At a live event. It's fun to do, because you can get people to write and be like, Fuck it, like, right? So you really bring energy behind like the screw and I'm doing it anyway. And it's so liberating. So to anyone listening, where you have like limitations, just say fuck it, do it. Like even if you just do a day of buckets. Yeah, it'll be really liberating.
I love it. There's a guy on YouTube, someone sent me this. It's like a morning meditation. And he's like, on the beach with his eyes closed. And it's like, beautiful. And he's like, very calm. And then but what he's saying is hilarious. And he's like, Fuck all this bullshit. All these fucking problems. So I really created it for our like, little insight community and posted it. I mean, it's like, on the back end of YouTube, you can't get it unless you like have the link. Yeah, because I say the F word like, probably 100 times in a row. Oh my god. But I tell her I'm like, Listen, I got this idea from the sky. This is his channel. Like this is just for you guys. Yeah, it was hard to get through it without laughing and then the wind because I was on the beach was so bad. But tripod, my phone kept falling over and I'm like, fuck, I'm like, quit the wind. Oh, my God. It's like 430 in the morning. It's like so early because the sun's rise. And I was trying to get the sunrise because our plane or flight I don't get up early in the morning people like the flight was so early. So anyway. Yeah, I feel so good. But people love it. They're like, Oh my God, this clarius Because
Oh my God, I feel like I need to record one as well now like you should my we
send it to you. I'm gonna send you like,
I had a few of my clients one time request that I do one for, I think it was when they're on their period or something like that. They're like, can you create one like, bucket to this like, period thing? And I was like, I'll think about it.
I love it. Yeah, I love it's just, but it's like, why don't we do these things. They seem so simple and stupid. But it's like for some reason we have to have someone else guide us because we're so close to it. Sometimes it just causes confusion and clutter. And sometimes it's just like foggy, you need to walk away. You need to walk fine. You don't have the capacity or the energy to do it anymore. So thank you for the tip. That was fun.
You're welcome. Sorry. So I digress. But funny stories. Yeah. So like with that we all have money stories. So Money Story is essentially like your like self fulfilling prophecy around what you believe you can and can't have when it comes to money. And the thing is with life, like if you kind of think it from a more like higher perspective, life is just a story that we're making up every day. Like you and I could literally go through the exact same motions have the exact same things, you know, happened to us, but have completely different experiences of it because we're making it up in our mind based off of like our filters of reality and that kind of stuff. So when it comes to money, it's the same thing. Like for example, I had a client one time right me because she was really distraught because she's like, fuck, like, I like she was doing really good with her money stuff. And we were working on and then she raised me she's like, I just got a bill like my car broke down. I need to pay like $500 for it like I'm one step forward two steps back. Well, you know, so that was her money story she was because that that's actually a very common one that I hear is like one step forward, two steps back like I can never get dead or like, you know, I can never get ahead. So I reframe that for I was like, Well, wait a minute, you just got a raise at work. Like, if anything you can can flip it around and say, Hey, I just got a raise at work like Thank you universe for giving me the extra cash to pay for this. Like, that's amazing. And there's more where that came from. Right? So, like, and then it just like, like some snap for her. She was like, oh my god, like you're so right. So we really have a choice of what story you want to write around our money. And back to like, the Fuckit thing, like things can be really embedded for a while, like we create these money stories as early as as early as like, essentially like birth, for some people even like subconsciously, yeah, they say, from the imprint period, which is like zero to seven is seven years old is when we you know, make sense of the world because we're just like this like sponge absorbing everything like making because we don't know what the hell anything like I have a three month old now. And I've seen my husband, I'm like, It's hilarious. Like, she doesn't even know how to like, grab something like we forget how basic things are that we didn't start out with, like, we didn't know how to hold something and bring it to our mouth. Like, she's just like flailing about. Yeah. So we come out into this world, just like what is this world. And then, based on what we see what we hear what we experienced, we make up stuff like, oh, you know, like, I'm not educated enough to be rich, or I'm not beautiful enough to be rich, or like all these crazy stories. So. So that's what money stories are in a nutshell.
I love that. It is so true, though. Because you can line up 10 people, they all came from a different, like they're in the same industry, they do the same thing. But they all have different backgrounds, and how they were raised and how they grew up and all that and ask them the same thing and get 10 Completely different. I mean, it's just, it's fascinating. But then for the people who kind of have like, bad store and like trauma, and it's a deal with that, like, yeah, how can you reframe it to use it in your advantage in your adult life? Because you can shift? You know, I just so how do people know? Like, I want to know what my money story is. I'm like, How do I figure it out? I know you have like a fun quiz. I love fun quizzes. Yes. Which I'm going to take it the like Money Story quiz. But like, how do you figure out what it is just take your quiz.
Go take the quiz. But, but I think practically speaking, like outside of the quiz, and like that little course, the mini course is, is to just be like, kind of it takes some reflection and some awareness. And so one exercise that I get my clients to do is to literally just set like three alarms throughout the day, maybe morning, noon, and evening. And literally just check in with your thoughts. So when the alarms go off, that's your reminder, hey, check in with your thoughts of like, whatever you've been thinking in the last couple hours, has there been anything that's been triggering to you, or any limitation of like, I don't know, maybe a coach recommended you go sell a new course. And like, I can't sell that, like, no one's gonna buy it, you know, or whatever. So just just literally take note of whatever comes up, or maybe you went grocery shopping, when you went to pay, you're like, Oh, my God, like more bills, you know, whatever it might be. So just write it out. So we have to bring awareness to things first and foremost. So write it out, no judgement at all. And then, and I've done this myself is upon reflection, you'll start to see common patterns come up. And it's pretty I like even for me, like I'm in this world. And I do this. And then when I do this exercise from time to time, I'm like, shit, like, I'm doing it, right. I'm like, Oh, I thought it was over that. But then like, when you take like a tally, you're like, Ah, damn, and I thought, like a similar ish kind of thought, like, 10 times today, you know, we're human, right? Because we literally have 10s of 1000s of thoughts a day. And they tend to lean on the negative side, because we have this natural negative bias that we're born with, like every single human on the planet. So that's why I say leave a judgment out of it, because that's only going to add to the Money Story of like, Oh, my God, look, you know, I got stressed about this, and I got triggered, right? Like, just really look at it from this objective perspective of like, Okay, interesting. Like, I love to use that word when I'm trying to leave judgment out of things just like interesting. I thought, you know, this bill stresses me out. Okay, interesting. That stressed me out. Great, okay. And then from that you just like, especially if someone's new to this, like really start stupidly simple with it, of just like, what's one little tiny tweak that I can take from that and start to improve? So you can ask yourself, like, if I, if I had any opportunity in the world to change this story, what would I want it to be instead? Right? So maybe, if you think that, like I said that went earlier, have like, one step forward, two steps back, never get ahead? Well, you know, somebody might say, you know, in an ideal world, I would love to feel like I'm always ahead. I feel like I always have an abundance of savings, right? So start by Think about who do you want to be? And then Then backtracking from there and saying, Okay, if that's the person I want to be and think and feel like, what how would she respond to this? Right? Like, how would she respond to receiving, you know, your electrical bill in the mail or whatever it is? Would she freak out and just tuck that bill in a drawer and hope it disappears? Or would she open it up? And like, look at it and be like, okay, cool, we're gonna pay this. And even if the person out there like listening to this is like, Ha, still freak out. That's okay. Go through the motions, like, just go through the motions for now? Because that's a great starting point. Yeah, right. It's, it's not about fully, fully, like believing and being that person, like in two seconds, but it's about initially, like going through the motions of like this. This is what a person who believes they're abundant and wealthy would do, and I'm going to keep practicing it until I believe it right? Mm hmm. I like to say imposter syndrome is a good thing. Because, because like I remember Seth Godin, in his book, The practice, he talks about, if you want to be a runner, and you haven't ran a day in your life, you put on your like sneakers, and you go running the first day, the first day, you're not a runner, you're pretending to be a runner. By day 30. After put on your running shoes for 30 days and running, you can pretty much call yourself a runner now but you start by being an imposter. You start by showing up to like the running club with like your gear and like your freshly white teachers. Right, like, yeah, I got this.
Yeah, that's, it's I love him. That's so true. Yeah, it's there. I don't know. Like, I definitely think I mean, just my own personal experience, how I grew up and like who did what? And then when I got married, which I'm not married. We just don't say Okay, good guy, just not for me and Avraham, we had different career paths and goals in life, but we should have discussed that beforehand. I was way too effing young. I don't believe people should get married before. They're 30. Okay, like, you need to know who you are. All of our clients, the wedding's that we do. We're like, I'm like, How old are you? I just thought of as people. You can't tell the older I get, the younger we get, and they look like they're 21 or 22. But then they're like, I'm 34. Yeah, I can't tell anymore. So it's I just flat out ask. But yeah, I just think that, like it Come it kind of emulated over into exactly like what my mom and dad were doing. And then one day, I'm like, What the fuck am I do? Like, I don't want to do this, like, Yeah, I'm not good at this, like, I know how to do it. But like, what am I doing? And I started like, separate my personal and my business. And when I heard an accountant, who was like, going through all this other stuff, and then he was just so completely disconnected. And it was all on me, and never balanced the freakin checkbook. I mean, no one really does that anymore. We have QuickBooks for that now. But it's just like, if I think it's, I think that even the public school should teach money, like, I do, like Dave Ramsey's from Nashville, he's a money guy. I grew up in a household like that, that you do not have credit cards, if you use credit cards, you're going to hell. And then I had to, like reframe my mindset as an entrepreneur that credit cards aren't bad, don't actually be amazing for points and like things. And there is a way to do it the right way. You just pay it off everyone, you know, like, but I kind of take like a business course and how to use other people's money, and how to not feel like I was building debt, when, and making sure that we had enough income, you know, to pay that off. And now like, we have a great strategy, and I mean, we have for years, but I couldn't have come up with that by myself. So it's like, ask for help. Are there certain things that when people first come to work with you, that you like, you're like, get all the clutter and all the shit out of your head? And like, we're gonna start fresh? Like, is that what you like to do?
Yeah, there's like, well, there's like a course that I teach every year. And one of the first things I have to do actually, is that awareness thing that we just talked about, but also I have them right at like, think of any and every memory you can possibly think of that feels triggering around money, like, I remember ended up not to be like money specific, but it can be where you felt less than or more than or whatever. Like, I remember, when I was a kid, one of my best friends. Her family was very wealthy, and going over to her house on Christmas or like just after Christmas and seeing like the ton of toys and like snowboard and like all the things that she would get for Christmas. It made me feel less than like I was like shit like our family's not as wealthy you know. And it really separated me it really made me feel like we were like this like poor like Tiny Tim family. Like, and like even like a an our neighbors a few doors down. They had like a convertible and we always used to dry it like my parents were like, the car gets you from A to B like doesn't need to be fancy. So we drove like, old beat up cars and I was like so embarrassed. So there was a lot of like, these these stories of like, shame and like feeling less than around money and like if you were wealthy then you had a good you know, and and even like, if you think about a lot of the Disney movies when we're growing up, really framed rich people as bad. Like you're right. Yeah, yeah.
Money spike.
Yeah. Cruella Deville. She was like, rich, but the meanest old person Cinderella's stepmother like they were wealthy. And and on the flip side of that the poor people are the like, happy kind. You know, everybody loves them people. So yeah, and even like pretty woman. That's actually surprisingly enough actually a Disney movie. Really? Yeah. Yeah. I remember I learned that in business school. And I was like, what? Wow, okay. Yeah. Disney. Yeah. Disney movie. But um, yeah, so in Pretty Woman think about like pretty women. She was like the broke like, you know, stripper or not stripper. What? Was she a prostitute? Yeah. And, you know, the rich people at Rodeo Drive. Were like, basically, like, get out of our store. Like, who the hell are you? You know. So I had this one took me a little while to really come to terms but they're like, really, like, be like, Oh, shit, that's a big block for me, which was my belief was rich people are snobs. And they're like a target. Because I remember at the time when I was still working my nine to five driving home one day and this woman passed by me in her car. She was like in this BMW. And she was like all glammed up and looks so beautiful. And one of my first initial thoughts and it's kind of like, terrible to say, but it was, you know, oh my god, what, like this rich bitch kind of thing? Yep. You know, yeah. And then I had a moment where I was like, bringing this awareness, I was like, Oh, my God, like, I totally judge this woman. She could be the nicest person in the world. And like, maybe like her dad just died. And like, she wanted to glamour herself up to like, feel good. Like, I have no idea. So like, wait, you know, like, do not judge someone by how they look by what they drive, but like, none of that stuff. So it really took a lot of unraveling for me to be like, people get to do whatever the hell they want to do with their money or without their money. Like and get the look, I really want to look and who am I to judge kind of thing? Yeah, it's a real,
I mean, it's a real problem. I mean, I see it happening right in front of my eyes. In fact, the other day, my brother founded a nonprofit for just to help the hospitality industry notice human trafficking in Nashville, because it's so bad. And someone came up to him at an event. And he's like, must be nice. So you have all this money to, like, from your business, to just funnel over to this nonprofit, it's just a way for you people who make a shit ton of money in your business to just funnel money over. And like, Thank God, I was standing there. Um, because my brother's a new entrepreneur, and he's grown his company. It's amazing in three years very quickly. And it's if you don't know how to handle some of that you get defensive. And I'm like, well, that I'm not sure why you think that because the people that are around that are very wealthy, they do very well in their business. Some of them have been passed down to them from family generation, and some of them came from nothing, and they started it from nothing. But when you have more money, and your company does really well, that means you want to give back. And yes, there's tax advantages, but that's not the reason I'm like, if you really knew my brother and knew my family and knew the shit that has gone down in the background of us growing up, you would shut the fuck up. Because this is not why he did this. This has nothing to do with money. Thank God, we have the money to actually put it towards a good cause. And help these these women and the children because they're mostly women and children. Yeah, who would not have another way out? So just the mindset around money and negativity in nonprofits and how just want money? Yeah, there you might have had an experience like that. And I'm like, Well, what's have you? Did you make a donation today? What's the last nonprofit that you donate? I've literally said that I'm like, I just put people on the spot like I can think quick like that. And then they just look at me and then I turn around and change the subject. It's just inappropriate, but they're they look like an idiot, but also to I'm judging them because they don't know what they don't know. It's like It's being defensive. And I could have been a bitch back. I mean, in my head, I was thinking one thing judging. And then on the other hand, you know, I'm like, customer service voice professional. Yeah, I'm just like, oh my god the way you think, you know, and then it's for 30 minutes driving home, I like to have this talk with my brother. And I'm like, listen, you're going to be attacked, there's gonna be a lot of media, there's going to be people that say really mean things. And that's their problem, not your problem. Exactly. And we're not going to put any energy towards that. And we're ready to move on. Okay, next. Good guys. Don't even Yeah, but it's really sad. But the, the more you have, the more you can give, and the more you can help. And that's what people don't realize,
like, one of the first lessons I learned as a business owner was it's actually spiritual to be rich. Because I think like growing up, and I grew up, like, going to church and that kind of stuff. And it comes back to this, like, you know, the poorer you are, it's almost like the more humble and like, you know, that kind of like the Mother Teresa vibes, like, you know, go with nothing, and you'll be this like, Saint kind of thing. Not to shit on Mother Teresa. She's a wonderful person. Um, but yeah, and so. So it's an even like, my dad, he's an entrepreneur. And he said that his father, who was also an entrepreneur said to him, If you ever have money, don't show it because you'll be a target. So he grew up with like, monies is bad thing. Don't let, don't let people know you got any money, like, just stay, like, average kind of thing? And, yeah, so from there, as I started growing my business, the more money I made. Well, one, I was making more money because I was helping more people. So that was me, right? That was the first learning. And to, like, this past year, I've given more to charities and I ever have, because I'm making more and like now the charity just reached out to me just last week to be like, can you help with our next fundraiser? I'm like, absolutely. And she could to your like, to the point of like, you know, it kind of, once you're making money that you can give more like, the founder of this charity said to me, and she said, you know, thank you so much last year for stretching us with the financial goal, because, and this is this is going to be kind of generalized here. But I think sometimes the pitfall with charities is they have a tendency to think small, like think they really feel like a charity, like, please just give me your leftovers kind of thing. And this charity in particular was like, going I forget what their goal was, I think it was like 10,000 or 15,000, what they want to raise, and I was like, Screw that, like, Let's go for like, 50,000. And she was like, really? You think so? And I was like, yeah, like, if we do X, Y, and Z, like we can do it. And she think because I think we ended up getting like 45,000 afterwards. Yeah, awesome. Right. I was like, you know, you got to set that goal high, or like, you know, and go for it. And so yeah, she thanked me because she really had that like, smaller mindset of like, oh, just get a little bit and like, see what we can do. And, you know, it's like, no, screw that. Let's go go for gold, honey.
Yeah, yeah. So like, how so for people who don't think like that? I'm thinking, I mean, it doesn't sound like either of us grew up with like, just a silver or gold spoon. You know, it's like, you have to learn these things as you as you're growing and growing a business. And so is there something that if someone listening or watching could do to help get over it? Like something?
Yeah, I think okay. Well, I think number one, they're doing the right thing by listening to this, first of all, right, like, because really, the beautiful thing about this day and age was like, so much accessibility to different podcasts and audio books that, like, we have so much access to putting in our ears and our eyes as well. You know, things that support us and things that that challenge or yeah, really challenged us to think bigger, and like, show us possibility, like, wow, they did it and like, you know, so I just think we as much as like technology and that kind of stuff can be a pain in the ass. It is a wonderful thing. Yes, it is. Yeah. But to like, put it really simply. And like you read this in the business books. And that kind of stuff is like what you're surrounding yourself with really, because I remember there was actually was years ago, I remember sitting on my bed randomly enough. And I was sitting there just thinking to myself, if every single person I knew the bare minimum, like lowest of the lowball salary was a million dollars, that would completely change my expectation of my income. And that would become like my new norm. Like if I was like making I don't know, like 100,000 and all my friends and like it was just like the common like, just like an average. You know, like right now I think in America, I think the average salary is like 50 55,000, something like that ish. Like If all of a sudden I could snap my fingers and tomorrow, the average salary was a million. All of a sudden, like you're making if somebody's making 55,000, like what the heck, like, I'm poverty level here, like all of a sudden, the, you know, the stakes. Like it's just like what like, and we just kind of like, level out to where everyone else's for the most of us. That's why it's called an average because average amount of people, right, right? Yeah. So if you if somebody out there wants to be 100,000, err, or half millionaire or whatever they want to be, get yourself either in the spaces or talking to people or listening to people or reading the reading about the people that have done that. Because really, that's that's the way to make to give yourself that permission slip and to see that it's accessible for you. That's what I remember when I first started out coaching. In 2015. My coach at the time had just done a 20k launch. So at the time, that was like my gold standard. I was like, I want to do 20k lunch, because I saw her do it. I saw how it was possible. And then the next year I did it myself. So yeah, it was just like, and then you know, and then I saw someone do $100,000 launch, you know, and then that was my next standard, you know, and then I did it like last year or so or two years ago. Yeah. And so once you see somebody doing it, then at least for me, it just becomes like, it's almost like this lightbulb goes off of like, yeah, wait, wait a minute,
like, why am I not doing this? Yeah. Like why? Why am I not doing it? Do you see in this is just me assuming? Yeah, but do you think people don't they're afraid to shoot hard because they're afraid they will fail? And they will know it? Or other people will know it? Or do you think it's just they truly don't know how to think that way or have the mindset yet? Or you think they have it? It's just a failure?
I think a bit of both. And I think I think it depends on the situation. Like maybe it might be leaning more towards one than the other. But I think a little bit of both. Yeah. I remember one time a client of mine, she like she had a goal that she felt was, you know, quote unquote, like high for her like say, she want to make $10,000 a month or whatever it was, I forget now. And she said to me, like I have some limiting beliefs around this. So Should I lower my goal? And I said, Don't lower your goal to match your limiting beliefs. Like, raise your belief match the goal.
Exactly. Right. Yeah. You should own t shirt. Yeah, it's true.
Yeah. So it just kind of clicked for her. She was like, oh, like, why would why would you hang it with a limiting belief and be like, alright, well, like, Let's lower the goal, then. It's like no, like, if anything, I I kind of love when limiting beliefs come up. Because I feel like it's God universe, whatever. Someone wants to call it showing me, here's your opportunity to change. Here's the right and here's what I want. This is your opportunity to rise higher. Right? So if a limitation comes up, I'm not like crap. Like, let me go sit and like let me just like soak in this. It's like, interesting once again, that interesting, like interesting, I guess. Right? What What can I you know, what can I think instead? And sometimes like, sometimes we have those days, where cuz I don't want to like dumb it down just like just think a different thought. And you're good to go. Like, sometimes we have those days where like, Fuck this, I don't want to think another that this is what the fact of the matter is, you know. So that's when you can lean on, you know, a coach or go like, there's a book I'm reading now. Or whenever I read like a chapter now I'm like, whew, like we are good to go, you know. So what is it? And it is, it's just quite simply called the power of your subconscious mind. Okay. And I think it's by Dr. Joseph mercy, Murphy. Funny enough. I bought this book back when I was in high school, which was many years ago. Because I had a coach in mind a rowing coach that really believed in visualization and subconscious mind and all kind of stuff. And I don't eat because I have seen my friend the other day, I was like, I didn't know where to pick up this book. This is like back before Amazon days, like I would have had to physically go to a bookstore. Yeah, buy this book, probably with like cash who didn't have a credit card back then. Yeah. Um, yeah. So I bought this book and it just sat in my bookshelf forever. So I dug it out the other day, I was like, I need to finally read this because it's been like, what how many graduated in 2004? So yeah, yeah. Over like 17 1617 years now. Yeah. So yeah. Crazy. Yeah. I'm like, what year we were 2022. Right. Okay.
Yeah, I'm not going numbers. I would be everywhere with my calculator.
Yeah, so that's what I'm reading now. And every time I read it, it just gives me that boost of that reminder. And he gives a lot of examples to it, like stories in there. So I find that encouraging to be like, okay, they did this and, yeah, that worked. So
I just think that, you know, when I was like going over some of your stuff the other day, it's like you is the word strategy. And it's like, with everything. You know, we talk about strategy with social media and struggle strategy to create your content and have a strategy to plan an event, like if you have a beginning and an end, but if there's not a strategy, and then there's no planning, then it's like a flop like it doesn't go well. So when you do you help people create that strategy for around, like, what their stories are.
Um, like, it's not like, here's like an ABC, like, this is your strategy. But I mean, the signature course that I have, that's more of like a, like, it's a group coaching program. But I mean, it's not as it's not the same experience as if they're one on one with me. So I say that because in my, in my group program, it is kind of laid out there six modules in it, where, after years of experience with it, I'm like, Okay, this is gonna be the first obstacle, you know, they they need to overcome. So I'll just quickly like, walk your audience through it. So like I said earlier, the awareness, right, the awareness thing is key, you got to know what's going on up there. And I'd get them to take that quiz as well to figure out what their money personality is. And then from there, the also brain dumping of like, what are all the memories that I have from childhood from maybe yesterday, you know, that trigger me around money, and then we get into the forgiveness stuff. So there's actually it's a weird name. It's called Whole oponopono. It's a forgiveness to It's an ancient Hawaiian forgiveness technique. Okay, where it's like really, really simple. Where you say four simple phrases. I'm going to pull them up now because I'm on the spot. I think it's Thank you. I love you. Please forgive me. I'm sorry.
And how do you spell this?
Ah, oh, no, I gotta like hate O. O P. O O pono. Yeah, it's how Opie o n o. Okay. Oh, oh, no. Oh, no.
Yeah. Okay, cool. Oh, no, no, that's interesting. So you said the four phases. Thank you
are for free. Let me like, yeah, I might fill up the order here as well. But there's Thank you. I love you. Please forgive me. I'm sorry.
Got it. Okay. Love it. I believe that we'll have trouble with those sometimes. I mean, the older I get them in the more aware like, psychologically of different things, especially women, like the co working space we're part of, it's like, they don't even know how to take a compliment. Like when you say, I don't know, I just, you know, a lot of it has to do with how they were raised and the environment they were raised in. And it's like it now if someone says, you know, if I give a compliment, and then they're just like, oh, you know, they just just missed it. I'm like, Do you know how to say compliment, like, just say, thank you. Like, say thank you. And it was meant, because I mean it but it should make you feel good. Like, don't dismiss the part because you need to celebrate yourself. And so break the small wins, like say, thank you. Yeah, and some people just don't know how to do that.
Yeah. Oh, I'm just looking to be okay. So it's, yeah, it's those phrases, but in different order. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you, guys. So it's like claiming responsibility, even if somebody feels like they weren't responsible. Like, we are responsible in the sense that, like, we have our perspective of this scenario, and we chose to think of it in a certain light that, yeah, we can just say like, I'm sorry for my partner in this. And then please forgive me, you know, please forgive me. And then thank you, because there's learning and everything like so thank you for this. And then I love you. So it's just like sending this love and being like, alright, like, I'm going to learn, like, learn to love this. And yeah, because, like, what sometimes? Wow, I just know, even from the biggest struggles in my life, were the biggest gifts. Yeah, right. So that's why we can say thank you, and I love you. So yeah, I get them to go through that forgiveness thing. And then once we kind of have that foundation established, then we move on, on into the practical, like, let's look at your numbers. Because some people you know, they do not want to look at their numbers. They don't know what kind of debts they have. So we get real practical after that. Like, alright, let's call out the numbers, how much you got in your savings, debt, interest rates, all that kind of stuff. We get real like, almost like, yeah, keen on on that kind of stuff. And then and then from there. It's really like, Well, what do you want then asking yourself what you want because manifesting comes down to asking for what you want and some people haven't even taken a second to think about that because they're just going through the default motions of like, well, this is this is all I'm this is all I can make. Yeah, because another block that I see with some of my clients is, if their business at the time as a side business then they have this belief of like, Oh, I could never make the same amount that I make my full time job. Like, I can never make a full time salary from that. And it's been really cool to experience it over the years, we're working with my clients being like, well, let's just map it out. Like just for fun. Like, what if you could make 60 grand a year from your business? Yeah. And then we've got that out. And when when they actually see the numbers of like, okay, well, you need to sell, you know, 10 packages of this or whatever it might be, then they're like, Oh, my God, like, some people just it's like, so blatantly obvious how they can actually make it work. But they just, the belief just stopped them in their tracks of like, well, I can't, so they don't even like sit down and be like, what if I could? So we get into the possibilities, like, that's why that module is called infinite possibilities of like, let's explore the possibilities. And then we start to come into the embodiment of it of like, alright, well, what are these beliefs? What are the statements you want to say about yourself? Where are the action steps that you want to take now? Because one of my sayings that I tell my clients is, mindset without action is bullshit.
It's true. Yeah, I'm set with Yeah,
without action is bullshit. Because you can, I could sit here all day, and, you know, do mindset work with my clients? And yeah, believe this, and, you know, affirm this and visualize this, but if at the end of the day, they're not actually doing anything about it, then it's all bullshit. It's not working, you know, like,
and it's frustrating. But yeah,
they don't truly, truly, truly believe it, because they're not actually doing anything about it. Right. So and I came up with that saying myself only from personal experience, not from having spent 2015 And part of 2016, just like spinning circles, doing the mindset work, and not actually doing anything about it. And then my business, like, change, what felt like overnight, when I finally was like, I'm gonna do do something.
Yeah. And no one's gonna do it for you. Like, that's the other thing is like, I mean, even if you have a lot of employees, or team members or vendors around you, it's like, you have to want to do it, and want to know, and make a change. Otherwise, like, no one's gonna do it. You. You there's some things you just can't outsource.
You can't you can't outsource outsource success. No, you cannot, again, hire out success. Like, yeah, that's on. It's like hiring a trainer to do push ups. And just hoping that if they demonstrate the push ups long enough, you'll get strong like,
yeah, it just worked that way. No, it doesn't work. So going back to just mindset work. And Tom and you always say like Tom's precious love. People say it's priceless. And there's a point in my life where I thought that way. But you know, the older I got, and the more that people start dropping like flies around me for various reasons. I'm just like, Oh, damn, like, I'll never talk to my dad again. Like, that's it. So it's like, you know, you wish you the you have I don't live in the past, but it's like, what changes can you make to make sure that like you're present? So is there one thing that you do in your business that could help anybody watching or listening? Is there one thing that you do where it's like, in order for me to be present my business? I have to do this one thing, like every day, or like, it's a habit? Is there some like one thing?
Oh, that's a good question. Well, I have a couple of tips around, like just showing up when somebody doesn't feel like it. But yeah, the present thing. Oh, that's a good question.
And you have a new baby. So it's like, being a new mom, y'all. She's a new mom. And Baby is like three months. So it's just like, you but even you're going through it right now. Like you have to allocate your, your time differently. And your priorities have to be there very different than what they were a year ago. Because I guess like maybe you're you know, you're like I'm, I'm pregnant, you know? Yeah. So everything shifts based on like, what's happening in your life and like, that's not a bad thing. So having that mindset of, I'm going to show up for my child and I'm going to make it a priority to do these things. And every year it should shift based on where you are with your business. So I just wonder like, is there one thing since yeah, having your daughter your I think you said it was a daughter? Yeah, yeah. Well Zoey, yeah. Yeah, that she were you just step back and think like, Okay, I have to do this one thing so that I can go you know, be with her and be my family and turn the business off and not worry about it.
Something there's been wonderful changes that have come with having a baby and something mine that actually heard from his name's Jesse Itzler where he said, Yeah, he's great. I love his wife. Oh my god. Yes, Sarah. Oh my God love them. Yeah. And his thing is be where your feet are. Like, like, wherever your feet are, like, be in that moment. And I really love that and that's something now upon reflection, like you asked me, like, how have I been present? I'm like, oh, that's, that's something I've embraced now where if I'm with Zoe, be with Zoe. If I'm you know, on my computer doing work, be with that don't be thinking like, Okay, well, I gotta go get like dinner it like, just really be where your feet are. And something that I've embraced since having joy because before before having her I used to have like my to do list a mile long. And I never felt like I got enough things done in the day. And I would always set myself up for failure because I would give myself way more things and I could actually do in the day. So one thing that I've done since having Zoey is really simplified my day, just being like, well, especially when I very first Hatter, I just literally gave myself one thing I said, What's one thing that I'm going to do today, and that's that's enough, like that really helps me present because I'm not like, like, I do this and I go do that. But from a like a real like practical tip for your audience is one thing that I did, and this actually happened before Zoey, but I dropped it, I dropped the ball on it, I'm back on it now. But I have like this little teeny tiny sticky note pad, I know where I got it from it was like, I don't know, maybe just like an inch high. And like maybe two inches wide. If that. And what I did one day was I only allowed myself to to write a maximum of three bullet points of what I was going to work on that day. And they couldn't amount to any more than three hours total for all three things. So if one thing I knew was going to take me three hours, well, that was it. That was all I was allowed to write on my sticky note. So it's like three and three, no more than three hours total, and no more than three bullet points on that sticky note. And until those three things or if they are three things get done. I cannot add anything else to my plate. I can't be like, Well, I gotta go grocery store like like, nope, what are the things you're gonna put on your little tiny, sticky note? And that's what I did for a little while where that was it. That was always a lot to do with those things. And then once I got them done, yeah, then I could, you know, jumping to the next thing, but that really helped me stay focused and present. But to your point of like, yeah, life is like Time is precious life is short. Two quick tips around that is one the end, this might be a bit like, like, whoa, Emily, for some Yeah, but But I used to have a sticky note on my wall for the longest time that quite simply said you're gonna die. Like that. Was it?
Just a no, but it's a good room? Yeah, it's a good reminder. Yeah. Like you, you make choices differently when you think that way.
Absolutely. And like after having Zoey it really made me think like, oh my god, this is this is the start of her life. And like, sad as is to say, like, one day, she's not going to be here. And I'm not going to be here. And my dad just lost his best friend last week to brain cancer and he was only 64 years old. And that really like struck me like, okay, like, I don't know, if I'm gonna be here tomorrow, like, and I might find out I have, you know, God forbid, like brain cancer, you know, next week, whatever. So that's what I had on my wall for the longest time you're gonna die. And then to also help me do things when I want to procrastinate, or like, you know, whatever is I have on my wall right now I'm looking at here, it's okay to feel like it's not your best work. It's okay to feel like it's not your best work. Because what it does is it takes you out of the perfectionism and takes you out of the procrastination because like, well, let me just fix this or let me like research this or what are they doing? Like maybe I could like spruce it up to look like whatever we're doing to like, not get our thing out into the world. And so I just really had to tell myself, like, it's okay to feel like it's not your best work out there. Like you can you can change it as you go. Like, I'm sure with your podcast, you know, it's pivoted, like you've made changes, you know, as you've gone through a year, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But if you had started out to be like, well, I got to be like the Tim Ferriss show, you know, like, whoever you know, that's like top pocket, whatever it is, like, if you have been like, that'd be just like them you would have never started never know, that's, that's something that really gets my butt in gear is just let's just put it out there.
That's awesome. But I love I, I'm like, I don't love paper and in person. It's however, there is a time and a place for them in my heart and in my life. And this is one of those times where those little reminders like change everything. Like if we have an event and at the last minute like these little things come up, and like I know that there is a extra extension Kord in my garage and you know, like, usually we're we're playing rap music on my phone, and like bloating up and getting ready and stuff. So it's like, I will use posters, everyone's while I'm like, pull them out the door because my mother did that, like, don't forget your lunch side. And my God, if my mom didn't do that, I would fucking forget my whole life. For you person, no, but But you only have so much capacity, you only have so much space on that little note. And so to start out by just quit over committing and and then you think differently of like, should I say yes to this project? Or should I say no. And then money starts to not matter that much. Because you start to realize, well, if you say no to something that you're really, your heart's not in 100%. And then next week, something else comes along, if you would have said yes to that project, you wouldn't have had the time to take this project on. Yeah. So we say no, a lot more than we say yes. Because it has to fit in alignment with like, the goals and like, what do we want to this year, you know, as a company, and then you personally and professionally, sometimes your goals, people were like, well, it's a little bit different. I'm like, how, and like, you own your business, but I don't know. It's just integrated into life. And I don't when you when you own a business, I don't know how your family and things cannot be integrated into what you're doing. Because it's like, you're it's like a baby,
you know? Yeah, totally. I
think that's super helpful. And I think it's super smart. So thank you for sharing. Yeah. Connect with you and do the quiz. Tell them where they should go.
So they can find them the quiz at the money. code.ca ca cuz I'm Canadian up north. Do you live in Canada? I do. Yeah.
I do not hear the accent at all.
Yeah, I'm east coast. So you get more the Canadian accent like Ontario like, oh, yeah, out in the wet like Manitoba. Saskatchewan. They got Alberta. They got a strong accent out there. Yeah, they. They're like,
like, we have some clouds of kit. And I'm like, Wait, what did you just say? And they're like, they say, I'm like you're saying the word home? You're buying a new I don't know, just the way they do the rose. And they think I'm so country red, like the way it's just funny.
Yeah, like, and where I am. I'm gonna I'm in a spot called Newfoundland. We're a bit more harsh. So like, I feel like car or bar or like something like that. Whereas like in Ontario, they'd be like, Oh, we're going to the bar like, bore? Yeah. Yeah, I bought it is so funny. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. But yeah, so the money code.ca And it's an inexpensive course. Anyway, it's only 27 bucks to do the quiz and get like some training videos and all that kind of stuff. But your audience I have a coupon code called podcast love. Yeah, so they can get 25% off. Okay, this will you know, Will some some for listening? Yeah, yeah. So podcasts love. And yeah, at the end of that when they when they go to purchase it, they can get that whole the course and there's a lot I jam packed. I was actually looking at the other day, I was like, I should really be charging more for this. But anyways, I'm like 27 bucks, you know? Yeah. Yeah, thank you so much. And you're welcome.
We'll put all this like in the blog, and in the show notes. And on social media, we have people that will contact us and tell us like their top takeaway or like, if they want to learn something, they're like, Well, I listened to it on the way to the work or I listened to it while I'm working out or usually like they're doing something else. And so one girl is like, almost wreck trying to write down so always say now I'm like, don't like, do what you're doing. And yeah, go back to the link. Like when you're safe. Like don't, don't drive and like take the next like, don't do that.
I've been there before where I'm like listening to an audiobook or a podcast. I'm like, Oh my God, that's so good. I'm like driving like, Oh my God, I need it like so I'll like pull over and like get out my phone and type it out. Yeah. Yes. I need to I need to save this nugget. Yeah,
I'm like, we'll put all the links there. Do you have a favorite platform that you hang out on? If people want to Instagrams my
fav? Yeah, and if anyone cares to see my little girl you'll see here her there. I did a little reel the other day where she spit up on me when I was like trying to get her for the gram was like, come on, like the smaller the gram. And then she just like spit up like this is too funny. So
it's, it's real. Like, I love the people that like they post this stuff in there, like swipe to see what's really happening, right? Because they're just very like, this is real life. And I love those people because we know that it's sometimes just a shit show. And that's like, yeah,
like literally today. One of my stories is like this is where I'm at now with motherhood where now when she spits up on me, I just let the milk dry in and we carry on like we just leave it like right now I'll be totally honest. My pants can have a milk stain on cuz like, she spit up on me earlier I was like, Alright, we're gonna leave these on because I know you're gonna spit up on me again. And that's just me another pair of pants I'm gonna wash. Yes the point, right, I'm getting much more efficient, like,
yep. Yep, it will. That's the thing is like you hear people like mom say pick your battles. Like I say that to my sister sometimes. And I'm like, why are you like ruin just by this one little thing? I'm like, pick your battles, like who gives a shit if it's two different pairs of socks? Like, yeah, I mean, I love my sister to that, but she's so different. And then, like, what she wants them to wear and like, everything has to be a certain way. And like, where, you know, mom's like, well don't compare. Because when you go do an event, or you speak like you like for things to be a certain way. Like, you're, you're totally right. But it's like, we have bigger fish to fry right now. I don't give a shit about the Sox like, we're going to be late. And I'm gonna have to pay $100 To have the kid not there on time. You know, it's just like, let's pick battles here, people.
Yes. And apparently a friend of mine, who's a mom of a two year old said that, you know, eventually you get to the point where, yes, you wear the pants with the milk stain, and then you wear them the next day. So I was like, Alright, I'm not there yet. No, not there yet. No, I'd still change my pants. And you know, day to day basis. So we'll see. We'll see how things go. Like check back in three months and see where I am.
That's funny. It's like people will DM me and be like, so are you on day two or three yet? That's funny, as I'll say, like things on the podcast and people will come up to me like conventions and stuff. And they'll like, say something that I said, and I'm like, in my head. I'm like, Oh my God, who are you? If I met you right now you what's your name? I'm like trying to find their badge. And I'm like, but I never want to say like a winner before. Like, they talk to me like they know me. And I'm like, Have you talked with Amanda? Like, I'm just assuming, you know, and they're like, Oh, I was listening to this. So now I'm just like, Oh, do you listen to the podcast, rather than assuming that I've met them before? And then it makes me feel crazy. Like I can't remember.
Oh, my God, I can imagine. Yeah.
It's fun. It's fun. But this was so much fun. Thank you so much for your time. And thank you for being here today. And y'all be sure to go take the quiz. I think that this is a great takeaway. And wherever you are in your business, new middle legacy stage, like you still want to know the money. So one of the stories don't know the numbers. And even if you have an accountant or someone, like I was saving counting for 15 years, and then they kept growing and growing and growing and growing. And then a big thing fell through the cracks. And I didn't know it until I got a letter from the IRS. And it's like when I think everything is great. You know, that was just God in the universe kind of telling me that like, hey, they really kind of outgrown that small town, small business fit, which is okay, like, I'm very happy for them. But it sucks that something like that had to happen for me to be like, Oh, so now I need to an a bookkeeper and this person and this person, but no one ever told me that, you know, but instead of going in mad about it, it's like to unpack a bunch of stuff. And like, actually learn some of it, which I don't like that. But now I will never, ever, ever let that happen again. Ever. Yeah, I pay a bill on Tom or something. And then they send me all this back into it. And I'm like, wait a minute, I didn't even know that. How did this happen? Yeah, I pay other people that take care of these things. But I didn't have that attitude. And his business partner had died, uh, suddenly, you know, it's just you never know what's going on with people. And while at the time, I thought that it was like such a big deal, which for some people would have been a huge deal. And they would have been pissed off and it would ruin their day and maybe their weekend month. But it's like, it's money. We can make more we have we have great clients, and money comes and goes. But when you're smart about it, or you think you're being smart about it, there's always ways to improve. That's the point of that story. There's always space to improve and don't be mad at yourself. Ability to keep up with what the hell is going on in your business. But thank you so much for your time. This is awesome.
Thank you. This was so so much fun. I loved hanging out with you.
Yeah, and everybody that's listening or watching thank you for your time and be sure to tune in next week to another episode of business unveiled by y'all. That's it for this week's episode of business unveiled. Now that you have all the tools that you need to conquer the world and GSD get shit done. Would you share this with your friends and fellow business leaders? One thing that would really really help us and help new listeners is for you to rate the show. And leave a comment and Apple podcast Spotify Stitcher, Wherever you tune in and listen to business unveiled, you can check out the show notes at Angela proffitt.com/podcast and link up with us on social media so you can share your biggest insights. And I want to know your aha moments. Until next week, remember, the profitable shifts and structures you're creating in your business, help you be more present in your life. So get out there and GSD