Opinions on success vary, but one thing is for sure: it takes a lot of focus to achieve it. You can't let yourself be pulled in too many different directions or you'll never make any real progress. Many people claim that having the right mindset is the key to becoming successful. But what does that mean exactly?
Getting into your optimal mindset is possible by learning to listen to your inner voice, playing to your strengths and building your confidence in your abilities!
I’m so excited to share today’s guest Emma McQueen, Director and Owner of Emma McQueen Pty Ltd. She will be sharing all about what holds women back from achieving success, where confidence comes from and how to get more of it and defining a growth mindset.
What holds women back from achieving success
Where confidence (mojo) comes from and how to get more of it
Defining a growth mindset
Learning to listen (and also not listen) to that inner voice
Playing to your strengths increases your confidence
Getting your mojo back is doable, with some good habits
MORE ABOUT OUR GUEST
I truly, wholeheartedly believe in the potential of women. I’m the mother of three daughters and I’m someone who is a proud member of the glass-half-full brigade. I can’t possibly believe in any other alternative than women doing work they love.
I’ve always been fascinated by human behaviour, so much so that I made it my career. As a human resources leader and executive coach, I have over 20 years experience in recruitment, human resources and leadership development across the corporate and not-for-profit sectors, as well as the realm of small business. As a Hogan-accredited coach, I’m a massive advocate of personality profiling and of identifying strengths, and I love to tap into this knowledge of ourselves for reaching our full potential.
The women I work with often surprise themselves more than they ever surprise me. You see, as an optimist I have a knack for seeing the possibilities everywhere, even when people can’t see the possibilities themselves. Actually, it’s more than a knack; I’m qualified and highly experienced in performance management and coaching.
I have worked with some of Australia’s leading organisations, both blue chip and not-for-profit to develop their teams and their talent. The success of any organisation depends entirely on the success of their people. After over two decades working with people, I know the power of effective coaching and the impact it has on a person’s performance and of course their overall wellbeing. There are so many people out there doing wonderful things, and I simply adore being the person who high fives them as they smash their goals, get the results they deserve and exceed their own expectations.
I love working with women who are driven and passionate about their work and need some guidance to feel empowered. Coaching women to achieve incredible results is my professional and personal sweet spot, because my work is fulfilling and plays to my strengths. My passion and purpose are aligned, and so Monday morning is something I embrace with excitement, hence my tagline- be enthusiastic, optimistic and energetic every day!
Hey, y'all, it's Angela, I'm back for another episode of business unveiled. I'm so excited for our guests today. And you're going to love her accent. Because I have like this southern country draw. And I just love. It's like, just keep talking. I love talking to people that like have a different accent. And it's just, it's so like, eloquent, like flows so nicely. So it's awesome. But if you are in the mindset of how do you stay thriving? How can you keep going? Because it's hard running a business is hard being an entrepreneur, if it was easy, everybody would do it. And we're going to dive into some of that today. So Emma, welcome to the show today.Continue Reading
Oh, thank you so much for having me. It's so funny, because I don't feel like I have an accent. But now I'm talking to you. I've definitely got an accent.
I love your accent. So you're in Australia. And it's like, I've never been to Australia, but I would love to get Australia one day,
please come to an area, we'd love to have you.
That would be so amazing. I've had multiple multiple people on the vodcast from Australia. And I'm like, I just want to keep talking. But before we dive in, and really get into the good guts of what we're going to chat about today, can you share with anyone that is watching or listening a little bit about your background? Just to give us some context to help us know how you've gotten to where you are today? Yeah, sure, no worries.
I'd started with, I would start with, I used to sell I suppose on my driveway when I was 10 years old, and totally embarrassed. My family has a great deal though. Because my mum bought the it poles, I sold them and then I get the profit entrepreneurs best story ever. And so I think I started there. And I've always wanted to have my own business. And I fell into human resources and executive coaching. And I've worked for Australia's largest not for profit, and I coached their executives. And so but I knew that I wanted to do more, I knew that I had that burning fire that I guess entrepreneurs have.
Which from the age of 10. It's like, you know, people, they, I don't know, I watch like my nieces, for example. And parents don't give their kids enough credit. Sometimes it's like paying attention, like to their ways. And my mom said even before I could talk I was like lining things up and like putting toys and colors, like in lines. And she's like, I would go to vacuum. And if I touched your stuff, or like moved one thing like you were just, you threw a fit and like you were really into, like designing things like and you couldn't even really talk yet. And so think of like we start to pay attention, you can start to see traits, like in young kids that could help them. I listen to podcasts the other day, and they're like, quit asking kids, what do you want to be when you grow up? Like you don't have to be one thing. And when you're a child conditioning them to think that they have to be one thing is like so backwards. So it was it was really interesting, like thinking that I don't think I've ever asked a kid that. But anyway, I know that you just came out with a book. And I'm super excited to dive into that too. But I want to know, because there there's myths out there, especially for women, that we make up shit in our head. Yeah, a lot even. It's not even the truth. Yeah. And, you know, we help people create content to post on on their websites and their blogs and social to create like organic conversations and community online. And some of the stuff people say especially women, to me, I'm like, where did you come up with that? Why What are these limiting beliefs? And who told you that? And you know, and I keep pushing until they answer because I know no one told them that it's just something they heard. And then they make these things up in their heads. And so you've gone through and I mean, as a business coach, you probably see this all the time. What are some of those myths? And why, why especially women? Why do we do this to ourselves? What am I
it's a million dollar question. You know what I have coached a lot of women I also coach men, very big secret, but I do coach men but I mainly coach women, and I just kept seeing the same patterns coming up in their brain boxes. It's like I don't have enough time. I'm not worthy. I should be happy with what I've got. And I thought there's something going on I'm here. And so I dive a bit deeper into it. And when I started, when I was coaching, I started asking questions about what was happening and listening for patterns. And I could have written 40 different things, right. But I brought it down to 12. And I kind of when I've got to work through these, because where do these come from? And I think our conditioning, it comes a lot from our conditioning a lot from our parentals a lot from traditional, you know, the way that women and men are seen in society. And I think we just don't know how to flip the switch on it. And so we feel stuck. And, you know, I've whispered, you probably use our man or wished need a few more hours in the day, or just need a bit more time to get this thing done. And the reality is, there's no more time. So then what do you do? It's about prioritization. And that's just one tiny example. But I just kept seeing these patterns. And I thought, these are just sabotaging whatever you're trying to do. So yeah, it led me to writing the book and going here, the here's the myth. And here's the truth to it. Because I think we get it stuck in our head, like, there is no more time Oh, well, there is no more time versus actually, let's just unpack that and see if we can either find more time. Or maybe we need to reframe it. Because a lot of people will say to me, I don't have time. And I say to them, what about you reframe that to that's not a priority and see how that sounds? And they're like, oh, I don't have time to my play with my kids. Okay, let's reframe that to I don't, it's not my priority. It's not my priority play with my kids. Oh, and all of a sudden, bit of a change.
It's so true. It's so true. And so by reframing it and saying, like, you know, what is a priority? Do you think that men and women, do you think that when they reset their priorities and their intentions that they actually achieve? What they think his success? Yes, but
I think everyone's version of success is super different. And so you just need to know, what's the anchor for your success, because success to one is not success to another, but if you're prioritizing and what I see women do, because I mainly work with women, not because men don't do this, but they ruthlessly prioritize, you know, they really look after their time, they batch their time, they are ruthless in with their calendar management. And that helps them to achieve whatever their version of successes. So yeah, I definitely think if you prioritize, you can hit your success. But you just got to know what the success factors first.
Well, and I had a mentor years ago who said, like, let's put your buckets and dump everything out of your brain, like all your buckets, like, what's in your personal bucket, what's in your business bucket, and like what is the priority, and that's how we started to understand and learn like calendar blocking, and time blocking, and more important what to say no to and understand capacity, and stop over committing. You know, it's a lot to work through. But those things have really helped. But even in doing all of those things, especially women from a confidence perspective. Some people, I mean, constantly, it's like, no, I can't do that, or it's going to be two weeks, and then it's like, confidence goes down. And then it's like looking at things like shit, am I really doing the right things? Like, how am I spending my time. And what I've noticed about myself is when I'm doing things that I'm happy, I'm passionate, and I know it's profitable for the company, like confidence comes with that. But then if there's things where it's like, Fuck, I should have said no, like, Why did I do this internal conversations? And then it's like, just confidence goes down. So what are some things? And that's just my personal experience, but like, what are some things that you like all the patterns and stuff that you've studied? How can people like keep their mojo, keep their confidence up and keep going?
Well, you know, it's interesting, because confidence is an interesting thing. And I think one of the things that I talk to a lot of my clients about is, are you playing to your strengths? Because it's like building a muscle, right? So if you're playing to your strengths, then and it's end strength, if you don't know what your strength is, there's two ways to cut two easy ways to figure it out. Think about what did you love doing as a kid? Because probably what you love doing is your kid as a kid has some relevance to today. And or what is the thing that you get lost in now? For me, it's certain They're not Excel spreadsheets, but for some people, they get lost for hours in Excel spreadsheets. So you would think it might be a strength. Maybe some people love it, that if we interview those people well done. Tell me. So I think that playing to your strengths means that you will be happier and more engaged in work and life generally. And Mojo motivation, it's a really interesting thing, right? Everyone's tried to go on a diet and or everyone's done a New Year's resolution. And what happens is motivation fades. And so I talk a lot about okay, motivation fades, but what are the habits that we can put in place to make sure that you can achieve your goals? Because motivation ebbs and flows, right. It's like, and, and when we lose our motivation, or we lose our mojo, it's good just to take a bit of a a bit of a restock and go, Okay, why, first? What's my why? Why do I want to do this thing? And what are the small steps that I can put in place to create some habits so that when my mojo disappears, I've still got those habits in play, right? And I had a client who I've just finished working with her 12 months, her employer rang me and said, Would you coach her? She's a tout as talented senior leader. And I'm like, Yeah, no worries. And for the first three months, we just worked on getting her sleep, her water, and her exercise, right, or basic things, right, Maslow's theory. And then we put some habits in place. And by the three month mark, she was putting all these habits into play. And by the time we finished, I said, How do you feel 12 months coaching with me, she's like, I feel like I've got all these great habits, and I'll continue to grow. But I've got the foundation set. And I thought that's exactly what it feels like, it feels easy. Because we've got those habits in place, you know, when you've got a routine, and it's awesome. And you think, yeah, nailed it. That's how I feel about my morning and my evening routine. Yep, so important.
It's so important. And it's like, I'm not so much of like a routine person. But when I have accountability to a trainer to get up that I am pain that holds me accountable. It's like, I don't want to get to get out of bed early every morning. Especially, you know, if I stayed up till midnight, or one o'clock in the morning doing something else. And I know that about myself. And I know that about the habits. So that's why it's like putting something or a habit in place to where it's going to not force you, but like, hold accountability to like, get up and go. But I don't have to think as hard at the gym, like oh, just tell me what I'm going to do and what I'm going to do that day, and I'll do it and as entrepreneurs and leaders and business owners, like we have to make so many decisions on a day to day basis. Yes. So personally, when it comes to you know, the personal time, I don't want to make decision, I don't want to think about dinner and like it's like, can someone just prepare it and it like appear. But it but it's like when you plan ahead. So those things are healthy. And the habits get better than going through McDonald's or Taco Bell or Wendy's, which is terrible for you. So it's like creating those habits, or I was listening to something the other day and the girl was like, or just go a different way home. Like if you're inclined to stop at McDonald's or whatever, like find a different route home. Usually there's a few different ways to get there. And so I love that like creating the habits. And I mean, just like the client, she had a coach to help her stay consistent to create the habits and create the foundation. It's it's so important.
Yeah. So and I think also decision fatigue is real. Yes. And as a business owners, right. Oh my goodness, decision fatigue. If someone asked me one more question, I'm going to, you know, gonna scream. But one of the things that I did, and it's a hack, boom, I got a personal stylist. Because I was like, What am I actually went into. I stepped out of corporate role and I went, I'm going to wear jeans every day. That's what I want to do. And then I realized what we're doing is a bit hard to pull off every day. But anyway, I hired a personal stylist, and from that, so she came to my house. She had a look at my stuff. We went shopping together actually she went shopping first and then I turned up which is great because I hate shopping. And then she put all my new outfits together. She photographed them. And on my phone now I've got an app. And I just open up the app and I sift through to see what outfit I'm going to wear today. decision fatigue gone. Oh my goodness. So if there's ways that you can hack yourself. I'm into that.
I love that, that even I think like Steve Jobs. And there, there were some other people it's like, I think they were the same thing ever, like a black shirt and jeans. And but they're all clean because they have 15 of the same thing was yes. And they don't have to make a choice. So it really is, it really is a real thing. And I and in kind of flowing into my next question all about growth mindset, like, do you find that people are kind of stunted, like they can't grow? Or they can't think because there are so many itty bitty little decisions that they have to make every day. And it's really stunting their growth, like when it comes to growth mindset. Do you think that that's one of the reasons for that? Yeah,
I mean, Carol Dweck coined the phrase, our 1997, or something like that. She's got a brilliant book called Mindset. And it's amazing. It's very academic. And for those that know me, I'm not exactly academic. Well, you're practical, try and get she's done type of chick. But she talks about growth mindset versus fixed mindset. And, you know, growth mindset is about, you know, failure is an opportunity to grow. Challenges helped me grow, we bounce back, etc. A fixed mindset is basically, well, failure is the limit in my abilities. I can't grow. I'm either good or I'm not. And I think entrepreneurs naturally have a growth mindset, because how often do we fail? A lot, right? Right. And we have to pick ourselves back up, and we have to go, alright, it is what it is. It this is feedback, we get back on the horse, and off we go. And so I think, I do think people, women especially get stuck in analysis paralysis. But I wonder whether it's less about growth mindset and more about clarity. Because there are a lot of women, I had a session this week, it was a two hour session to give a startup clarity on what to do next. And it fascinates me because I'm like, how do you start up when you're not necessarily clear, but there's so many decisions that you need to make, and you get caught in analysis paralysis? And at the start, I said, Where are you scale of one to 10? On clarity, she's like a three. that broke my heart a little bit. And by the end of our session, we had a full 90 day plan that she was able to implement. And I said, Where are you now she's like, I'm an eight. And she's like, I'm pumped. And I'm like, yay. Now, I would say that's all about clarity. And a few, there was a few of my limiting beliefs in there too, right? There was that imposter syndrome, that inner critic going, you can't do that. So we helped her unblock some of those as well. But I think growth mindset and clarity are two really important things.
And when you're not clear, she is slow. And so it's like clarity is speed internally and externally. If you're not clear internally with your team, the communication is off, that rolls over into external client communication. And so constantly, like clarity and being clear sells, if cute, does not sell. It's like we're not going to be cute about marketing here. Yeah, it doesn't work like people don't understand it. So it's really important, like, the more clear, do you think that in terms of like getting clarity, it's not just like, a one time thing? It's like, we started a business, we're clear. Like, do you recommend people have a clarity check in every six months every year? Like, what do you recommend? I think it's a good clarity check in personally and professionally. But on the professional side, what it what do you think is the healthy thing to do?
Do I believe if you think about let's just think about money mindset for a moment, right? And let's say you've got some money blocks, and your business is starting up to $0 in the bank, and you got some money box and you clear those money blocks, and then all of a sudden you get some money in the bank. And maybe you get to, I don't know, $5,000 a month to begin with. And then more money blocks appear because you're making more money. And so I feel like that's the same with clarity. You can start on one path, and you can iterate as you go. And sometimes we iterate so many things that we don't know, the clarity gets lost. So I think having a clear plan and also a buddy and accountability buddy, like your personal trainer, or a coach like me, really helps people just to stay on track and to stay on path. I mean, I had someone who didn't have a lot of clarity, and then they really got the clarity and we were putting together for we pushed in the end for three years. So most people join me for 12 months and then they just stay. They get the results. Now they didn't have any clarity and they certainly didn't have any dollars in the bank. After the first year, they were running a multi million dollar company. And they had a lot of clarity. And it also clarity helps you say no to some things, right? Because sometimes women don't have very good boundaries of sound around saying no. So we say yes to everything. And then we really hurt ourselves. Because we're like, I shouldn't have said yes to that. Because whatever I've said yes to I've had to say no, somewhere along the line, or the universe has said, Well, you've said yes, so you can't take anything else on, which is what you really want. And I think we get into that trap. When we first start a business, right? You say yes, say yes to opportunities, the year of Yes. There's even books that have been written about it, right. But at the same time, that can sometimes paralyze us, because we're saying yes to stuff we actually don't want to do. And then we lose motivation. And then it's like, okay, how do we clear that out? So I think clarity is kind of like, it's a constant thing you need to keep doing and you need to keep going back to that anchor, that you've got to make sure that you've got the clarity that you need, because like you say, it's so confusing for your team, it's confusing for your clients, if you don't have that clarity. So just making sure and you lose credibility. I think, if you don't have that clarity, because people don't love fluff, I hate fluff. Give me clear any day of the week. Yes,
I will say in the firt. And someone asked me this recently, and they're like, you know, if you've been entrepreneur, you've been you've owned your business for 10 years, 20 years, I get it, like, you have to say no to things. But in the first year or two, as an entrepreneur or a startup, or you're trying to figure out your passion and what you really want to do. I will say that's how I learned the hard way of, I don't want to do this, this actually isn't what I want to do. And so, you know, we would finish out doing things, but then the next time I would do it differently. And then the next time I would do it differently when it would get better and better and better and better. And so some of those things in saying yes to everything helped me get to a know a lot faster. So and we get that question a lot like how guarded should you really be of your time oh my god, the first 10 years that I was an entrepreneur, I went to every networking event, I joined every organization, I sat on six different boards, like I did all this shit, because I just kept saying yes. And then was to be nekkid. It it was it was I didn't sleep, my hair was falling out. I mean, it was just not a good thing. And a friend of mine who was an organization, he's like, You have to join this organization, like it's gonna change your life. And I didn't get a business degree. I think that's not what I went to school for. And I mean, I got a degree in psychology, like I worked in mental health, and so he would not shut up about it. So I finally went to like an info session. And I'm like, Oh, I'm tired of this shit. And he's like, You need to make time and push these other things. He's like, what value? Are you getting from doing all this stuff? Doesn't make you feel good, because people are like, Oh, thank you so much. I'm like, I don't really need to feel good. Like, I feel good about what I'm doing. I don't need the affirmation. He's like, why are you doing it? What value? And I thought about that more and more and more. And I'm like, You know what, I want to be the stupidest person in the room, not the smartest person in the room. Because how am I going to learn and grow and, and I was so bored, I've lost my mojo. And so in getting into that group, and surrounded by the right people, energized me, and it taught me so many different ways to see things and consider things and, and I eventually, you know, I finished out what I said I would do, because that's what my mama and daddy taught me is if you say you're going to do something, you finish it. But as an entrepreneur, that's not always the best thing, especially when you make a personal goal for yourself. And say, like, I want to launch this product, but if you know that the product is not going to sell well. And you're going to waste all this time and all this money and all this effort, and then it's not going to go anywhere. Some people will say I just want to finish it because I started it and I'm going to finish it. And that was me years ago, until someone said, you know, sometimes you're going to start things, not when it comes to client work. But sometimes you're going to start things in your business and it's better not to finish it. And so how, how do how can people know they're surrounded by the right people first and who should they listen to like the right people? Who should they listen to in in doing all these different things? Because when you're not surrounded by the right people, it's it's detrimental.
Right so it's end up so often women in particular feel like they have to do it all themselves and on their right We feel like we can't go anywhere, we need to do it ourselves yada, yada, yada. But in the book I talk about it takes a village to raise a kid, why do we think it doesn't take a village to raise a business? Or three businesses generally mean? Like, it's just different expectations. And I think who you surround yourself is with is really important. And I think how you choose it is what's missing for you. So my friend Janine Ghana wrote this book called, it's who you know, and it's about who you got on your personal board of directors, you know, who's your back kicker? Who's your mentor? Who's your teacher? Who's the person that's actually just cares for you and says, Hey, Mr. How you doing? Actually, how you doing? Not business related? Just, you know, you look like you're falling apart. And I also said that that's one thing, you need to make sure that they compliment you and the skills that you have. But also, like you said, you don't want to be the smartest person in the room, where will you grow? And I think, for me, personally, I was always known as Emma McQueen. Worldvision, Australia, because that's who I worked for in here in Australia for 12 years. And eventually, then I was just Emma McQueen, Emma McLean, PT y Ltd, very creative business. And, and what I noticed is that the people that knew me then wouldn't let me go and grow to who I am now. And so sometimes you have to do a bit of a stocktake. On actually who is in my circle? And are they good for me right now, from a business and a personal perspective, right? Because we've all got negative nancies, who kind of we hang out with, and they steal our energy, and we think wish that could energy could go elsewhere. And so I actually think that's the most important thing is to have a group of people who are not necessarily like minded, diverse opinions are great. Gender differences are great. But also that they push you to the next level, whatever your next level is. And I think that's super important. And I see women hanging out with women who are all at the same level. And it's all a lot of great group think. And I think, hey, let's break it up a bit. Let's go have a look at your network and see who else you need to diversify. Because otherwise, one, you'll be boring, too. It'll be about groupthink. And three, you just plateau. And we've seen it happen over and over. And some women get really offended when I say that, because they're like, Oh, I couldn't possibly, you know, change my friends up. Now. I'm like, Well, do you want to stay stuck or you want to grow? That's the choice you make. But yeah, surrounding yourself with the right people is one of the most important things that you can do.
It, it's just, it's so important. And I laugh like, Do you Do you guys have Saturday night lab there? Do you watch it? Yes, yes. Okay. So I don't watch much TV. But there are some episodes or some skits, not full episodes. I don't have the attention span to sit there for an hour and a half. But like some of the skits that they do, like with the whole Negative Nancy and it's it's like the reason it's so funny. And the reason people relate to it so much is because like this just real life sometimes. Totally. Totally. Like, people will send me funny skits. Somebody sent me a text talk last night, and I'm like, oh my god, this is amazing. It was all about the service industry and someone who makes like these amazing cakes and all these cookies. And someone commented on her pricing, because they asked like how much is it doesn't have those cookies. And I don't know she you know, commented back and they're like, that's insane. So like, it's a it's not butter. Yeah. The guy was like, It's butter flour. And I don't know something else. I mean, he was an ass. And like, you know, I don't mind paying for services. Or he said, I don't mind paying for the products that you need to make this stuff. But this is ridiculous. She made the funniest tech talk back to him. And she literally took a pan through sticks of butter, and through flour, and through like the cookie molds and through the icing pack just into a pan and then and she's like that's what no talent no skill, no experience. Gets you is basic. Doesn't even like well done when your friend riots. Yeah, I'm like, Oh my God. I'm like, I want to use the sound. I want to do it and I'm like, and then she has everything turned off. I messaged her. I'm like, I can't use your sound. I can't do it. You and I can't stitch you but this is like one of the best ways that you can communicate to people that if you want a badass cake or these amazing cookies They take 30 minutes apiece to handcraft. Because they're that custom, you get what you pay for. I know. So it was just a really great analogy of like showing. Some people like they don't need to be in our circle, and they're not the right people. And they're not the right potential client and like you can move on. And yeah, oftentimes, like we said, we got an email yesterday from a potential client. And she's like, well, understand, you have a lot of experience and understand that you and your team like you know what you're doing, and you have a great reputation. But we just can't quite afford that. And so do you have other alternatives to your pricing structure? Wow. And I'm like, I don't know what to say to that. Like, we're a business. And they are what they are. And in fact, we're coming to into quarter four, which means next year, our prices are going to go up, because inflation is such a big thing right now, where I live and where I'm from. And so like, our accountant is already pushing it. I'm like, let's finish the year out, because we have contracts that we need to finish and fulfill At that rate, but at least I know it four months in advance and not four years in advance. And so my one of my team members, she's like, how do I even respond to this? And I'm like, I don't know, because I wouldn't respond very nicely. It. It is what it is we run a business if you can't afford it. Best of luck to you. Yeah, where am I not respond because it doesn't deserve a response. Um, whatever bad customer service, this is why I don't do email. You know, I'm like, you'll figure out a way to say, say something really nice like, aye. Aye. Aye. I can't even bring that energy into it. Because it's so disrespectful. Yeah, it's so disrespectful.
Well, even the cookie man. Like, if he can't see the worth in the cookies. go by. We have Tim Tams here in Australia in order to internees. Yeah, we don't have that. You don't have to do so. Okay. They're like lashes, chocolate on top of chocolate with chocolate in the middle. They're amazing. You need to get your hands on sometimes. And, you know, go buy a packet of Tim tans from the from the supermarket, if you don't say the value, and why is it anyone else's problem? If that? If they say we're too expensive? It's actually an issue for them. It's about their self worth. Or maybe they're just not at the exact moment meant to work with us yet? Because they're not quite right. Yeah. So it's about I think it's about fit. And I think I love it, I get that too. I got an email yesterday, who said, I would love to work with you, but you're just too expensive. I also haven't responded yet. But my response will be something like expensive is on a spectrum. And if you think I'm too expensive, that's actually not my issue. I'm okay with that. Yeah. But you need to feel confident in yourself. And competence is something that women really struggle with to go back and have that conversation, which I always talk about playing above the line, right? So there's playing below the line playing above the line, always playing above the line. So I'll go back and I'll say, Look, I understand that you can if you can't afford me at the moment, let me introduce you to a couple of coaches who are a bit less experienced than I am, but will probably get you some good results anyway. And may the force be with you? Yeah.
Yeah, but I know, I also know so many women who would come back, and because they're afraid to lose the business or afraid what people will think. And they would say, Well, how much can you afford? And you know, we can talk about it. And I mean, that was me years ago. And it was like the worst thing ever, because I didn't know what to say. And I didn't know how to deal with it. Because I truly wanted to help people. I do want to help everybody. Yeah, everybody can't be everything to everybody. Like, yeah, just you can't. Yeah, and it really, you know, thinking of like motivation and Mojo and like getting up and like being excited every day. I mean, the burnout rate is going to be so high if you do it that way. Yeah. So if, if someone's watching, you're listening, and they're just not motivated. What can he do? What's something they can do besides read your book?
Go read the book. Ah, do you know what I would say? Break it down to what you want to achieve? And what's the smallest step you can make? Might be picking up the phone, it might be putting something into your calendar might be sticking to the thing that you've put in the calendar, right? It's not enough just to stick it in the calendar then you've got to stick to that moment. Just the smallest thing because I think what happens is that builds a momentum. It's like a snowball, and you get to do the small things. And that will help you with your momentum. And it will ultimately help you with your mojo. But also go back to your WHY DON'T YOU why or why am I doing this? Is this important? I mean, I have some clients who have said, I need to do this, this and I've gone to them. Alright, let's look at your to do list because I hate to do lists, but they love them. And though what are we going, what do we actually need to do? What are we actually, from a business perspective? What do I need to do? Great, what don't we need to do? What can we delegate out to other people who have the strengths and skills that we don't have? Or it doesn't give us joy? And what can we ditch? What can we get rid of that? It wouldn't matter anyway? Like, oh, I can't do anything. And like, yeah, you can. Let's do this. So I kind of do those three buckets. And I've just finished reading joy at work by Marie Kondo.
Have you read it? No, I haven't. But I'm going to add it to my list. Yeah,
it's all about decluttering your workspace and so that it creates more space to do more things that you want to do. And it's based on their premise, you know, if it doesn't give you joy, get rid of it, which I really struggled with in my office. I'm like, This might give me joy. But, you know, I think and that goes well with you. And what can you delegate? What can you ditch? And what do you have to do like, as a busy entrepreneur, who runs a lot of businesses, you cannot, you don't have time, to be everything and do everything, you've got to do the things that are going to move your business forward, move the dial, and if there are only three things in the day, so be it. But I think chunk it down to the smallest step to get your mojo back. Just what what do I need to do just to move forward just even you move at one degree
that one degree can make all the difference and be a little bit of progress. And I think when some people start to see a little bit of a result like that helps them get excited and motivated and moving towards more of what is the goal? And I remember when I was so busy, like busy doing the wrong shit, right? Like, yeah, it's like goals. I don't have any goals. What do you mean, I don't have time for goals, like an out of a business manager, say like, well, how many do you want to do and how many months and like, let's design the light and the calendar, not let the clients run it and like do it by default? And I didn't know what I didn't know. Because, yeah,
I'm like, what? How do you know that? Yeah, you mainly.
Yeah, so I like it. That's where it's so important. Like, I mean, obviously, I know, like working with business coaches, and consultants, like, his could change my world and my life like, yeah, why do you think people need? It's not that, oh, we want that. Like, there's times where it's like, I would rather not eat or shower than like, give? Coach, because it's like, I needed that push in the butt. So and why do some people like do well with it? And some people will not?
I think it also, I think it depends on the coach too. Right? I've got two coaches. Someone say that's quite high maintenance. But anyway, it is what it is. But I think a coach, it depends. I my clients say to me, the feedback I get over and over again, which is slightly embarrassing, but am I You're not exactly for the faint hearted. I'll take that as a compliment. I'm all about results, right? I want the results. And if you don't want the results, I'm going to drive you nuts and you're going to drive me nuts. That's a simple and so you know, when you're doing that discovery call or clarity call whatever you're doing, it's like I'm not the right coach for you, because you are actually not going to do what I asked you to do. Yep. And you don't want to actually be held to account you're a bit too rogue. And it's interesting with entrepreneurs, right, because we're a bit rogue. We don't like to be told what to do. So I think but I think we all need someone to hold us accountable, to kick us to get butts when we need it to cheerlead us when we're having a rough day, and I work with my clients, I only take on 10 one on one coaching clients a year because I don't want them to wait till next session to tell me what's happened. I want them to text me phone me or get in contact with me before the next session if they've got anything to celebrate, so I can celebrate with them. I want them to call me if something hasn't turned out well, I want them to call me go what do I do next? What how do I work? So I'm a bit different like that. I think there's lots of coaches out there who are like See you next month and good luck with that. And I'm not that type of coach. I'm just too invested in my people. I think so I think it's about all of those things. I also think, if you're talking to a coach and the fit isn't right, then it's never going to work. There's got to be that you got to like them. And then you've got to get to know them. And then you got to trust them that like no trust factor, right? Yeah. But I think and I think coaching works. Also, when someone's self motivated, you know, when they've got that intrinsic drive, like most entrepreneurs do, to make the world a better place to have impact where they want to have impact. They're driven by that. So I see it more in entrepreneurs and business owners, because they're just driven. They've either bootstrapped it, right. So they put their own cash into it, so has to work. Or they've got investors, which they probably shouldn't adopt. But now they've got another half to keep them happy. And so they're just motivated to get stuff done. And I think that's why you would get a coach, you're already self motivated. You just need someone that's external to kick some ideas around with I mean, I've got a start up who I'm currently working with, and she said to me, is it just black? How do you just get so much clarity, I'm like, I'm not close to the situation, I can see that this situation is not great for you. And here's what I would do about it. And she's like, well, that's what I'm gonna do. I'm like, great. So, so a coach is arm's length. And I think that's why it works as well, right? They're not ingrained in your business. They don't know the politics or the gossip or any of that crap. So it's all just okay, how do we just get you moving? How do we keep you moving? And how do we make sure I mean, I've got people who take copious amounts of notes. And a month later, they're like, I've done it done everything. And I'm like, Holy, Holy guacamole. This is awesome. You know, and so yeah, so I think also, it's about the motivation of the person. I mean, you would be pretty motivated, I can't imagine you're not when your coach says you should try this, you've got now not thanks.
You know, every single coach or mentor or consultant that I've worked with, I've learned something from every single one of them. And, more importantly, I've more so from consultants than anything I've learned. The lack of there, they don't mean any harm, they don't mean to leave things out. They only know what they know. And their experience only goes so far. And so there's been a few times where I'm sure I'm not their favorite client, because I am the girl who pushes them. Because sometimes I I know what I know too much. But I've been around the block a few times, you know, in the marketing space, and in the the coaching, the online course, and coaching world and an E commerce and digital marketing. I've been to way too many conferences, I speak a lot at conferences, I know a lot of people in space. And so when they're trying to bullshit me, which frankly, like I don't appreciate, but it's like, you know, people are like, Oh, you're a short little blonde, and they do know, and that's okay. But I've learned how to not treat people because of that. And it's like, you know, my mother always says, like, in someone famous said this, like people, you remember how people make you feel, you may not remember everything they say. But it's like, if you make me feel dumb, which I know I'm not dumb at certain things, but you can't be good at everything. It really matters. There's only been one person though, out of after the first month, couple years ago, that it was just not gonna work. He was very controlling, and, and had a very young wife who did not like his female clients, and she let me know that. And I'm like, I, your husband's old enough to be my father, maybe grandfather and you have like, a bunch of kids and like, I'm not into a bunch of kids and like, I don't want that. I'm sorry. The other female clients, like want your family, I don't want him and I don't want his money, like on my own. And so like he was going through some insecurities and marriage, marital issues, and then was trying to like pull me into it, which is not what it coaches for.
Well, yeah, man fans, yes,
that's another thing. And it's like, yeah, my backgrounds therapy, but but I saw it coming. And so as soon as I was like, you know, I saw the meeting the next week, and I told Amanda, I'm like, Just let him know, like, we're not going to be meeting and moving forward. We're not going to be me meeting that it's not a good fit. And it was like a one sentence thing and then you know, he writes back this big long email, which I still save to this day, because in this subject one it said, hey, they're fancy. And yes, talking down, like most of my mentors have been men, and I've just never had someone like, quite talk down to me like that. But the whole point of the story and like sharing all this is, coaches are great. If you have not a great experience with one, it doesn't mean that you're gonna have a bad experience with someone else. Like, there are some amazing coaches with which have helped not only me and my business, but a lot of my friends in their businesses, too. So it's like, if you have one bad experience, like don't judge all coaches and consultants, like based off of that, because I've had one bad egg in probably 30 different mentors and coaches and consultants over 20 years, you know, that we've worked with? Yeah, so, but what you said is important to finding the right fit the right person. And sometimes it takes you to go through a few people before you actually find the right person. And that's okay. Like, there's nothing wrong with that.
And sometimes you grow out of them. Yes. You know, like, I've got clients, and every 12 months, I go to them, right? There's no offense here. Do you want? Do you need a different support level? Do you need a different coach? What is it that you need? And every year I let them off the hook? Because I'm like, if you don't want to work with me anymore, or if you've outgrown me, or it's just not working for you, well, then let's find you someone awesome. And it's just business. And I'm with that. And a lot of them go, No, why would I break something that's not that's working, right. But I always like to give them the opportunity, because sometimes people's growth is phenomenal. And online, I think I've given you everything I've got. So, you know, let's find you someone else that can take you to the next level. So I think it's knowing when that is as well when you're about to level up, or when you have leveled up and just making sure that the coach matches that. Because I find a lot of coaches out there, some of the coaches out there talking about multimillion dollar businesses, or having three or four businesses and I don't necessarily have the lived experience, which doesn't make them a bad coach, because you can still coach, but sometimes having the lived experiences, you know, really helpful because you're like, Okay, well, here's what I did. And you can share stories and stuff. So I think it's also you can outgrow your coach, and that's okay.
Yeah, that's why every year like, one of the groups that I'm in now an entrepreneur group, they're big on every single year, like rotating, getting someone new. And like you said, like, not only the client may be feeling that, but it's like, you're feeling I mean, I have felt this way like I've given you all I got like, huh, and and it's frustrating sometimes when people don't even implement, you know, some of the things and then it's like, this isn't gonna work. Like you're not just like I say I'm unemployable. Like, people like they're they're not coachable or it's just not the right time in their life. Yeah. It's just, you know, it is what it is. It's not for everybody at that point in time. And that's okay. So yeah, yeah, totally. Okay. If people want to get your book, where can they get your book? Oh,
thank you. You just go to Emma McQueen. Comdata you and we've got books and events and blog, and I've got a podcast and all types of things on there. So they can just check me out there. Or they can stalk me on Instagram, which is Mr. McQueen. We're buddies on Instagram, so they can probably find me through you. But yes, I would love to connect with your audience.
Awesome. And we'll put all of your links in the show notes, make it easy for people to find you and get the book. And thank you so much for your time. This was an excellent, excellent interview with a lot of great information, especially for the women out there. Sometimes we just need a reset button and just a little reminder that you're doing an awesome job and keep going and it's okay to say no,
no, absolutely. Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me on your podcast. I was so thrilled when I saw it come through. Yeah, I get to speak Danijela it's gonna be awesome.
It was it was awesome. And if you're listening or watching today, thank you for all of your time. And be sure to tune in next week to another episode of business unveiled. Via that's it for this week's episode of business unveiled. Now that you have all the tools that you need to conquer the world and GSD get shit done. Would you share this with your friends and fellow business leaders? One thing that would really really help us and help new listeners is for you to rate the show. Go and leave a comment and Apple podcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you tune in and listen to business unveiled. You can check out the show notes at Angela proffitt.com/podcast and link up with us on social media so you can share your biggest insights. And I want to know your aha moments. Until next week, remember, the profitable shifts and structures you're creating in your business, help you be more present in your life. So get out there and GSD