If you’ve struggled to keep focused on things, you may be wondering if you have ADHD or you may be dealing with the symptoms but are afraid of finding out the truth because of the stereotyping that often accompanies a diagnosis. Well good news: there’s lots of us out here! There are so many entrepreneurs and successful people who have ADHD. And it isn’t just hyper little boys who have it but thriving adult women too! Today, we’re talking to business coach and ADHD expert, Diann Wingert, about how ADHD is not a curse: it’s a superpower.
Diann first explains what ADHD is. It is a genetic disorder that stays with you all your life. It does not come and go as some believe. But thankfully, it will not hold you back as long as you learn to work with it. You may wonder if you have it, so Diann gives us a few telling signs to look for that indicate that you may have ADHD. You may notice that you have a difficult time standing still, or that you act fast, or that you learn by doing, or that you often drift off into your own thoughts. You may even have trouble with your memory. If you notice these things in yourself, you may have ADHD.
Once you know that you have ADHD, it may be difficult for you to know what to do with yourself. Diann suggests being aware of it and how it affects you so that you know how to work with it. Become familiar with the Unholy Trinity: procrastination, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. These are things you will need to learn to combat as you continue to grow. She also stresses the importance of accepting yourself during the process. Realize that you have a different way of doing things, and that that’s okay. One of the biggest ways you can help yourself is by creating routines that keep you organized.
Keep in mind that a healthy mindset is the key to surviving. Realize that you are not the victim of your brain. Allow yourself to ask for help. There are some things that you will need others to do for you. Since you may become overwhelmed by your own great ideas, differentiate between options and opportunities and make sure that what you do decide to do aligns with your goals. Join us to learn more about the relationship between ADHD and business and how it can be such a great thing!
- How do you know you have ADHD?
- What should you do if you have ADHD?
- What mindset should you have if you have ADHD?
When you know who you are, and you know what you want to do, don’t ask for permission. Just do it.
You can build a team of people around you to support you in all the areas that you struggle so that all you have to do is shine in the areas you’re good at.
We don’t recognize what our actual capacity is, so we are always letting ourselves down.
MORE ABOUT OUR GUEST
Diann is a California girl: she was born and raised in the Golden State. She went to college at UCLA and dreamed of becoming a broadcaster. Sadly, that dream didn’t work out, but that hasn’t stopped her from following other dreams! She loves change and has had 4 careers so far. She was a psychotherapist for 20 years, so she has had lots of experience helping people with issues like ADHD. Right now, she owns a coaching brand, The Driven Woman, that helps women with ADHD become successful entrepreneurs.
Hi, y'all. It's Angela, I'm back for another episode of business unveiled. I am so excited to talk to our guests today. And you're in for a real treat. Because if you're anything like me, and I know you are because you guys tell me, we all think that we are sitting around with ADHD because we feel like we have to be doing 10 things at once, or we can't focus or we can't finish one thing. And I know every single day of my life if I actually stop and think about it, that I have these these creative times blocked down on my calendar. And if I don't know exactly what the finish point and the starting or the starting point and the end point is, and it's not time blocked on my calendar, I find myself doing things. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I can't even finish making a salad. I got to change a light bulb, my dogs peeing on the puppy pad, I gotta go change the path. It's like, I can't even finish making a salad because there's so many other things around me that I feel like I need to do in that time block that is like, especially not lunchtime.
So we're going to talk to an expert today about just those little daily things like, do we really have ADHD? Or is it just something that we're falling back on? so dang it? I am so excited. Welcome to the show today. Just based on that introduction, Angela. Let's just say this, I strongly suspect you may be one of the family.
I so I'm like I've been I know it. And I mean, I've clinically been diagnosed with it and a lot of entrepreneurs have I don't take medicine for it, because I'm very aware of it. And so that's where like calendar blocking and, and also really leaning on my team members to help me get shit done. And to just see meaning like even today. I'm like, Okay, I know, we need to write one campaign for 12 months for a client. And I know that I probably would get sidetracked if I didn't have the accountability of my team member. They're building out the workflow in HubSpot while we were talking it through. But it's like I know that about myself now. And so instead of me blocking it out and being alone doing it, I'm like, Okay, I'm going to do with a team member because she's really type A, she's not add 90 HD, and she will make sure the shits gets done. And so it's you know, talking about like techniques and things like that of like how you can really work with it and not against it. So be open and talk about this. And again, I love talking about this because I feel like so many of us have this. I'd love to know more about your journey. And I want our listeners to know more about your background where you came from, like how have you gotten to where you are today, because y'all she helps so many entrepreneurs with ADHD, and use it more of like a superpower rather than like a disability, which is really what it can be if you allow it to be, but I want them to know what's your background first. I'd love to share that with you, Angela. So I was born in Hollywood as a matter of fact, which is kind of cool because many years later I married my husband who's from a little village in Germany, and one of his aspirations in life was to grow up and meet and marry a California girl and it doesn't get any better than born in Hollywood. But there's more to the story than that. As I said, I was born in Southern California. I've lived all over Los Angeles throughout my life and just two almost two years ago, we relocated to Portland, Oregon on four weeks. Notice
We know no one here. And thanks to the pandemic slash quarantine, we still don't. But in between, in between, I was adopted at birth and grew up in a family in a nice neighborhood, but a very dysfunctional family. And it's something I mentioned, because a
lot of people with ADHD have a trauma background. It's one of the reasons why it's not picked up in many people. Because when you have a trauma background, you usually have other things going on, like anxiety, depression, sometimes addictions, eating disorders and things. So a lot of those things can confuse the actual symptoms of ADHD. So that's important because a lot of people have a delayed diagnosis. And I was certainly one of them. But I always had a lot of energy, a lot of ideas, a lot of creativity, and very little understanding of what my actual bandwidth was. So if I thought something was exciting, interesting, fascinating. I was curious about it. I was all in no reservation. And that trait is so common to people with ADHD, it is what makes us good entrepreneurs. But I sold more Girl Scout cookies, then the rest of the group put together. I love it. That's that's another idea. But so I grew up in Southern California, I have actually been married three times, okay, later why, why that can also point to ADHD. I've had four careers. And I like change. I like change a lot. In fact, almost all serial entrepreneurs are ADHD, in fact, probably 60 to 70% of all entrepreneurs, at least have ADHD traits. But in my generation, girls were not identified women were not identified and I went to grad school at UCLA had my undergrad and Communications at UCLA that I was going to go into broadcasting a lead a guidance counselor, talk me out of it, folks. Don't ever let anyone talk to you. When you know who you are, and you know what you want to do. Don't ask for permission, just do it. Yes. Nobody knows you the way you know you. But I went in a different direction. I had a career in medical sales. And then I had an early midlife crisis went back to UCLA for a master's in social work. I was a psychotherapist for 20 years, I worked with a lot of kids with ADHD. And as a matter of fact, when that was happening, it was just little boys who couldn't sit still. Now we're being identified with ADHD. And unfortunately, Angela, most people still think that's what ADHD looks like. But many, many years later, the fastest growing group of people being identified with ADHD are adult women over 40 Believe it or not, wow. Yeah, Dan. Well, what you might also may or may not know is that ADHD is a genetically transmitted. So I have three kids from two marriages. And they all have it. Thanks, Mom. But But only only my oldest son was identified in childhood, my second son found his way into some addictive behaviors and never got around to getting diagnosed. But my daughter, she didn't get diagnosed until she was in college, and just is really, it's the gender bias in the way, the understanding of how ADHD looks. And who has it that results in a lot of women never knowing if you're female and think you are, you probably are. But you'll be you'll be the last to know, like everyone around you is like she's so add. And you're like, Am I aren't I and nowadays, it's like, it's just such a common expression that people refer to things like, Oh, I'm having an add moment, or my add is acting up. It's like, first of all, it's ADHD, even if you don't have the age, that's the legal definition. But add is quicker and I like quick.
But you don't, you don't have it sometimes and not have it other times. It's not caused by technology. It's not caused by bad parenting. It's not caused by sugar, or bad diet or sitting on your butt too much. It's genetic. And I think it can be both a blessing or a curse but self awareness, self awareness is number one, and you are a perfect example of somebody who knows who they are and how they are and what kind of help you need so that you Don't strain yourself and end up getting in the way of your own brilliance. Hmm. So I see it, you know, as a superpower, and but I also know that when I'm with my people and when I say my people, I mean people that are also like me, and then if I have someone around me that is super focused and super type A and even if
I don't know that person like I can always read a crowd and pick it up real quick. Because I can have 10 conversations with 10 different people staying in the same exact place for an hour. And like, and I know exactly what I'm talking about. And other people like that would just flat out, stress them out. They're like, Can you just talk about one thing to one person? Has that ever come across your mind? And I'm like, Oh, no, I don't I don't want to do that. Like, that's, that's so inefficient. Why would I want to do?
It is inefficient. I'm like, anybody. But I know that there's so many challenges. So for anybody that's listening, and at first off, like, how do you even know, like, outside of like going to your doctor, you know, or going to see a psycho therapist? Like, how would someone identify and know like, okay, maybe I have ADHD? You know, if I'm a business owner, like, what are my challenges, like, what are some of the signs that I would look for? That's a great question. And
I think, well, first of all, if you think you have ADHD, and that's even a controversy, there's so much controversy around this. And I don't even like to call it a disorder. Technically, it is a disorder. It has terrible branding, because if you think about it, the words deficit and disorder are in the title. Hello. It's really hard to get people to understand you can leverage this as your unfair advantage when you're super powers do say, but it can also be the source of your greatest heartbreaks. Now what how that's so paradoxical. How do you expect anyone to understand it, including the people who have it like some people say, I have ADHD, some people say I am ADHD, and then we get into all this nonsense controversy. Here's how you know,
if you are physically hyperactive, and half of us have that trait, and half of us don't, it will be very difficult for you to wait your turn, stand in line. Listen to people without shifting your weight from one foot to the other. If they're kind of slow to get to the point.
If you you're going to think faster, be ready to act faster, you hate meetings, the world just seems to be on slow mo and you are ready to go go go. And you've always been that way. That's a whole constellation of attributes. That's very suggestive. Another one is that
you, you learn by doing a lot of people with ADHD, they don't really want to read the manual, go to the class. I don't ever read instructions when I get something that needs to be put together. I just wing it. Because if I read I call the instructions destructions because they confuse me. Why? Because they're written. here's here's the good news, bad news.
public schools, churches, corporations, laws, the things that other people take for granted Angela, and they think well, that's just the way it is. The things that really causes us to chafe at the bit and question and sometimes rebel against and because it just sometimes seems so inefficient, so asinine. So random, so arbitrary. The world was made by and for neurotypicals. And if you're not familiar with that word, it basically refers to 90% of people who do not have a neurodivergent brain like you and I have about 10% of people have ADHD, autism spectrum disorder, dyslexia, dyspraxia, some of these different ways of being and thinking, but nearly all entrepreneurs, visionaries, inventors, creatives, and people who actually move humanity forward, by changing things up, we have different brains, it's just that other people don't understand it. So if you're used to being misunderstood, if you're used to drifting off in the middle of a conversation, even when you're interested in even when you started, because something else caught your attention, caught your imagination, or you just started thinking about the thoughts. You were thinking about what the other person was saying, You lost your place in the conversation. And then all of a sudden, you know, there's a gap and you're like, wait, what did you just say? memory problems, forgetfulness, losing things, misplacing things, having difficulty sequencing things, putting things in the right order, organizing your thoughts, but I'd say the classic, the absolute classic, and this is one of the things that people who decide to
work with me, almost always say on first meeting, I'm tired of having so many brilliant ideas and never making any of them.
Get to the finish line. So we're great at starting, you're finishing
horrible. As I'm sitting here listening to you talk, check, check, check, check, check, right.
But it's been me since I've even been a child. You know, like, my mom said that I always got in trouble for talking, but usually was because I was trying to talk it through with someone because I learned by doing this is why you guys, I love video. I like video. I mean, as soon as YouTube came out, like I'm a YouTube kid, I'm always like, how to, I watch a video on how to do everything. And I want to do it myself and learn how to do with my hands. And that's what I that's what I would make good grades, and I was very successful. But I never really could read a book from beginning to end. And I would pretend that I wouldn't retain and then I wouldn't understand. So this is why audible has been great. This is again, my love video. And but but I guess at a very early age, even before I could talk, my mom said I would line everything up in a line. So I'm super OCD that I even do as an adult. So if we're like, you know, we have all these trucks and we have three hours to like build these many teams. So like build these amazing events or these weddings. And it's like everything, I like to get everything out of the boxes and everything out of the tubs and my whole team knows I like everything in a line. I like everything about like, Don't touch my line. And I'm still like that like as an adult, because it's the only way that my brain knows how to actually organize something and then like get it done really quickly. Like if we only have a certain amount of time to like, set up an event and then take it down. I mean, y'all we're building houses and taking them down in 24 hours. Sometimes it's crazy. But it's like, there's only a certain type of person that can like take some of that because if you stop and think, Oh my god, like this is very stressful, like all of these things, but like, I never look at it that way. Because my brain knows how to process things like in an OCD manner and and align. But that's also how I've gotten around being ADHD from the losing the things and the number one things is the keys the fucking cards. Oh, yeah. And it's like, if you just like there's a few things now that we have learned. And I have tried to also like teach my sister's kids though, it's like when they know they come into my home, they take their shoes off at the door, we eat at the kitchen bar, we don't eat in the bedroom. I mean,
there's just certain rules that I've set in place for myself that when I walk in the door, I hang my keys on the freakin Kate keyhole thing, like that's what the keyhole thing is for. And if I can just create repetition, where everything has a space, and that's where my OCD comes in. Everything has a space that I know where everything is. So I don't have to spend stress and like arguing with myself, why can't I just put my keys in one freaking place? We also got those Square Reader things I think is what they're called on our phone. So things that that I most often miss place still being my GIS.
Even though I have a keyhole, because I don't follow process. Sometimes. I have that on my phone. And I even set my phone down and I have my earbuds and I'm like, What the fuck did I put my phone? And so I'll have to tell my mom, mom, I have to hang up because I have to say, hey, Siri, hey, Siri, hey, Siri. And Siri is like what I'm here. What? And that's how I have to find my phone. And it's like, I'll set my phone down, you know, in the middle of my bed. And then there's like laundry over it. But you know, so I've learned to get around these things. So that there's ways that I'm not like constantly being frustrated. But are there things like that the people can do so that they Creek can actually create some type of a routine so they don't find themselves being frustrated by like little things like that. Or like you know the answer to that question. You're living proof of it. Listen, here. Here's the thing. Here's the thing, if anybody's listening in, they're like, Ah, you know what I think I probably am. And I think i or i know i am or a lot of people think No, but seriously, sadly, mental health issues are still stigmatized. Nobody wants to have a diagnosis on their records. Matter of fact, I just interviewed a young woman this week on my podcast, who was discriminated against getting a job as a police officer because of her ADHD diagnosis and medication when you're you. Well, it's especially terrible because I know for a fact that the majority of firefighters, police officers, military personnel, first responders, emergency room, personnel,
have ADHD, Really? Yes. But if they're it's just what we're attracted to, we are attracted to fast moving, quick decisions under pressure, no two days alike, you never really know what's going to happen next, it stopped her up and roll. It's it's high energy, it's high intensity, it's high stakes. A lot of people like us are on the floor of the stock exchange, they are skydiving instructors. They're also professional athletes, professional entertainers
and entrepreneurs, and a lot of a lot of professionals. But you know, I think that the interesting thing is, and what you've already been bringing up indirectly is that, it, it's not so important if you have or are if you prefer, ADHD, diagnosed or not.
And I'll tell you what you should do if you think you might be and you want to figure it out before you go see a doctor, if you even choose to do that. Mm hmm. But self awareness is number one. And number two is self acceptance. Listen, there are incredibly successful people in all these different walks of life who have ADHD, they don't give it the slightest thought. Because like Angela, and like me, they've created workarounds. And, and they work in their zone of genius. They know what they're good at, they know what they're not good at. And they have the God given sense to let other people do the things that no matter how hard they try, they're just never going to be good at, you can build a team of people around you, to support you in all the areas where you struggle, so that all you have to do is shine in the areas you're good at. Now, if you are, unless you have a live in chef, a live in maid live in nanny for your kids and you know somebody to follow you around and pick up after you and keep track of your shit. You do need to create systems. So what I teach is probably very, very similar to what you teach Angela, and that is rituals, routines, and rules. embrace them, love them, let them support you because it isn't worth eating up your mental and emotional bandwidth, searching for shit that is probably right under your nose. But you have lost your mind. You can't find it. The emotional overwhelm. I mean, yes, we people know about the distractibility they know about the hyper activity, they know about the creativity, they know about the memory stuff and losing stuff. What we don't often talk about is all of this is very stressful emotionally. And people with ADHD are often emotionally reactive, to the point where some people think we're bipolar, or we have a borderline personality disorder, or we're on drugs or something. Because we make we it's like, if you think about it, if your mind is going that fast, you're going to jump from thought to emotion to action in lightning speed. And if you're upset, especially if you're upset at yourself, and because it's something you've done so many times, and it promised yourself, you wouldn't do it again, you can get pretty reactive. And a lot of us stay up too late. Don't have good habits that the kind of you and I teach about getting enough sleep eating the right kinds of food exercise every day. Don't overdo it on any substances.
You know, you whether you have the diagnosis or not, isn't really the issue is are you willing to create an ADHD friendly business in life? Or are you going to keep struggling with something that could actually be your greatest asset? It's To me it comes down to
that. Does that make sense for you? Yes, totally. So what like what kind of, can you tell us? Like is there one type of mindset issue that that I know women can or is there one thing that as women we can do to overcome? Because most of us like we are successful, badass women entrepreneurs, but it does get exhausting sometimes. And it does get exhausting like we're just in our own head like creating this this mindset. And you know, again, I've learned to surround myself with the right people the right podcasts, the right audible books, the right YouTubers, to make sure you know that my brain is constantly staying active. I'm constantly doing things I'll tell you guys, I'd COVID recently and I mean, I was in bed for a solid two weeks and but I was so sick that I was like all I can do is think about waking up no fever. That was it. But my mom, she every two hours she would call me and check on me and she's like, I know that you were just sitting there.
Thinking about your board, because I have this board with like all these goals on my board. And she's like, but you have to just think about getting better and getting well. And I'm like, actually mom, like the older I've gotten, the more I have relied on my team, and my team is awesome. And they're working every day, and they've got it and they don't need me. And if God had to make me sick and put me in bed for two weeks, because I got it from my freakin physical therapist damn her. She know she had it either. No, but if I had to, like, this was the best time for me to have it because I was, I was actually proud of myself. I'm like, that actually led a good team. I don't want to be everything to everybody. And this is the exact reason why if you're an entrepreneur, and you have to be down and out now, I'd rather be on vacation in Cabo for two weeks, rather than laying in bed with COVID. But if that's the case, can your business run without you. And I know that that was a mindset thing for me that I'm not going to sit here and beat myself up, I'm going to sit here and be positive and say, I'm going to get better, my body's going to get better this fever is going to go away. But all I can do right now is take a cold bath and get back in bed and sleep, this shut off till it goes away. And like that was a mindset I had to create for myself. And I knew it was okay. But if this should happen to me, 15 years ago, I don't know if I would have lived, because I would have laid there and stressed so much about the work that I needed to be doing and the work that that was building up on me and the clients and I would badger myself and never give myself any grace to just sit there and do nothing. And so for women that are listening, that maybe aren't as older, when I say older, I mean, no, I'm an entrepreneur almost 20 years now, you know, I've been around the block for a little bit. But if people are in a startup, or, you know, if they're new, being an entrepreneur, like what mindset if they think they have ADHD can they put themselves in, so they can actually use it towards a successful person, being a successful person and not listen to the negative energy. This is what I could literally talk about until my lips turned blue for the rest of my life and never get tired of it. Because I think so many people feel
like they're a victim
of the brain they've got when they could actually turn it into their greatest resource. So I would say the mindset challenges for women with ADHD are the following. Because they don't know they have it. They have internalized the challenges that we've been talking about as either I'm stupid, I'm lazy,
I don't care, I'm broken. And that shit will fuck you up. As we both know, then there is internalized shame about the fact that we simply do things differently. And we do different things. When you're a little kid, unless you have very unusual and very wonderful parents. doing things differently is not considered a good thing. It is considered a bad thing. It's considered something that needs to be stopped and shut down and usually get your ass back in line. We're different. We think different. We feel different. We do things differently. So the internal a shame holds many a woman like you and I back, we are reluctant to ask for help. Because we think there's something wrong with the fact that we need it. One of the things that because we have such a vast capacity. And we have such a magical brain that's endlessly curious and endlessly capable of generating new creative ideas, especially for business. We don't recognize what our actual capacity is. So we are always letting ourselves down. We also impulsively make all kinds of promises, and then completely forget we made them so we have shame about letting others down. Not being willing to ask other people for help, and not even recognizing that we need it is probably one of the biggest things, the fatigue and frustration that comes from having too many ideas and thinking we can actually chase too many rabbits at once. Now, if you have a big team, you can do that. But when you're starting out absolutely no. But I'd say that stuff that I see the most are what I call the unholy trinity of procrastination, perfectionism and people pleasing meaning we try so hard to do things just right. And because we're able to see things at their ultimate best, we're never really satisfied. So we keep tweaking and tweaking and tweaking and tweaking. We need to at some point, just ship it because otherwise somebody else is going to do it first and we're going to miss our chance. But procrastinating goes hand in hand with perfectionism because if we have these secret fears that we're not good enough
Any luck we've had is just that luck and not skill.
Confidence is always on a slippery slope. And people pleasing comes from this chronic sense of not being enough doing the wrong thing, blurting things out, you know, looking like a hot mess, sometimes not being able to control our emotions, our temper. So we oftentimes take let people take advantage of us in in business, it might be not setting good boundaries with clients not charging enough things like that. So I'd say I see this in almost every woman I work with.
But with mindset, as you know, it's learned, and what is learned can be unlearned. Mm hmm.
And that's the that's the key. It's like, thank God, I was surrounded by the right people, but I actually had to seek that out. It's not like God, just like, here's some people to help you. It's like, for 10 years, and I thought it was more just like, oh, that's my personality, you know, I'm just carefree creative personality. That's just how my brain is wired. And I don't care about the number. It's not that I don't care about the numbers, my brain just doesn't really go to the numbers and the analytics and the research. But I have learned over the years, like 10 years in one of my first businesses, when I actually hired an accountant and a business manager, and they sat me down, and they're like, so you have money in the bank, but you know, your last year you did 200, overturn 50 events, you you weren't profitable, like, What are you? Like? Do you even know my last name is possible? Right, which is my ex husband's last name and everybody, I was so young, and everyone knew me as Angela Proffitt, so I wasn't gonna go back to Angela young. But, and I wasn't even an entrepreneur, back then I was in health care. And I wasn't even thinking about it. I didn't even know what an entrepreneur was because I didn't grow up like that my parents just didn't. And even though my family was, it's like, they were business owners, they weren't entrepreneurs, which really, that's a key distinction. It's a key distinction. It's what it is. It's like, I guess for me, the difference is like, if you own or own the same thing, and you do it, you know, for 40 years, and then sell it, okay, you own a business. But when you're when you're an entrepreneur, to me, it's like you're involved in many different things. And you like to be part of many different initiatives and many different businesses. And, like, there's nothing wrong with that until, and this is what got me when my accountant and business manager said, because I also own a pet product company, while I had an event business, I also the productivity company, which I still have. And then there
were other things, the more successful you start becoming in the community, people want a piece of you and they all start to Yes, ma'am. hop onto your coattails. And I don't mean that in a mean way. Like, I love helping people I love giving back. But you got to do it to the people that are serious about what their passion is, and make sure that there is a clear agenda where it's not just they're there to like use you, which is what some of the people were doing. But it took other people telling me like, Angela, you have to say no to some of these things, some of these things are gonna go nowhere. And it's so true. And that's that that's the people that's the people pleasing part I'm a lot of people get very upset when I use the term people pleasing. But I just liked it has the alliteration with the procrastination perfectionism. But really what it comes down to is our natural tendency is to be eager about any new thing. And so I train people to recognize the difference between research and a rabbit hole between an option and an opportunity. You know, because if you do one thing, you're not going to do something else. And I think when we're led by our enthusiasm and our excitement and our, our thirst for new things, we're oftentimes not looking down the road or doing the math. And you can't get away with that too many times and still have plenty left in you. You don't there's nothing left at the end of the day, there's no energy. So for women that are listening that don't know that what I just said, what you just said is like, how do you know when to say no and like when when the option and the opportunity? Like are there things that you can tell people listening that are like, that's me, but I don't have like I have an advisory board now. And so I have other people like yes, I own multiple businesses, but when opportunities I think it's an opportunity come away and like I want to tell you yes right now and that sounds so amazing, but I have to check with my board and my advisory board and I'll say
To look at my vision board, and if it's not with it falling within, like the quarterly goals of what we're doing with GST, I'm sorry, but the answer is no. And they just means no. Yes, yes. And you know what we are so much in alignment in what we teach. What I what I teach my clients is, you are wired for the default. Yes. You have to understand that about yourself. Anytime something's new, shiny, different novel, it might be shit on a shingle, but you're going to say yes, before you even hear the word coming out of your mouth. Know that about yourself and adopt this simple habit.
It whether it's an email, whether it's a text message, whether somebody gets up in your DMS, whether you see something on a webinar, or somebody calls you or someone recommends you and says yeah, she's the girl you got to talk to my policy is because I
know who I am. And I know how I am just like you do. My first thing is, I always hit the pause button. No matter how excited I am, no matter how good it looks, I know that I'm impulsive. And I know that I've been wrong, even though I like to think I'm crazy intuitive, which I also am. But not every intuition is accurate when you mix it with a bad night's sleep and too much on my plate. So I always hit the pause button. And my standard response is, this sounds fascinating. I need to give it a deeper look to see if it's in alignment with what we already have planned. Let me get back to you. And I give them a time, then I immediately schedule it in my calendar, where I'm gonna get back to him if I've completely forgotten about it between now and 48 hours from now, when I say I'm going to get back and that's an automatic No.
It's it's just, it's it. And it really it's it's a skill. It's a technique. It's a hack. It's a strategy. But more importantly, it is a mindset issue. I know I'm always going to want to say yes, on the topic of research. I've wasted probably cumulatively decades of my life, reading shit that never took me anywhere. So now everything that I tagged it for later, I tag it for later, I tagged it for later. And then at the I have a schedule just like you I time block my week, I have themed days, the whole thing. When I get to the time, it's like now it's my time to go back and look through all the things that I tagged for later, at least two thirds of them. I don't even remember seeing the first time. So I'll pick up I do the same thing with online shopping, I put it in the cart, I do not click Buy.
I go back, it's all scheduled out. It's how I've learned how to handle my impulsivity and not waste time, not waste money, not waste my precious energy. Now, other people this is just like you soon as you know how to do anything even reasonably well, there's going to be somebody who knows less than you that wants to quote unquote, pick your brain back in the early days. I used to find that very flattering. Now I know if they're serious, they'll say, I'd like to hire you. If they want free advice, which they will then consider is that they're making progress because they did an information call with somebody. They're not serious. You're wasting their time and yours. Just say no. Mm hmm.
Yep. We're so much alike. We totally are.
But y'all, it's like I didn't learn all this stuff. Like on my own like, I've had people had to teach me like I've had a mentor that said, Angela, how often because when they were together, I was like, Oh my God, if one more person asked if they can have GAVI, and like, I don't drink coffee, I don't even like coffee. I don't like caffeine, like, I don't drink coffee.
Or can I pick your brain? And he's like, Listen, and no, they want, they all want to pick your brain. But to ask them, what's your top three questions for me? And most of the time, I can say, Here's three of my favorite books that I've listened to one of the main story brand, all of that because most people they want to know about content, like how are you everywhere? How can I create content? How can you help me with my website? Can you take a look at this? How do I set up this and I'm like, you know, if you go watch my free youtube videos, or listen my pockets, a lot of free information out there. Nobody, they want that thing right then right there because that's what they need right there. But I'm like if you go read storebrand or if you go do this or that come back to me and let me know the top three takeaways and how that helped you construct your website, and then I'll be happy to do 15 minutes of zoom.
And then I'm How many have taken you up on that done. That's what I'm saying. See, this is this is brilliant. I actually I got so many of these requests to pick my brain. I actually had this fantasy
Have my my head split open and a bunch of little cocktail toothpicks stuck all over my brain. And people were like looking which piece do I want to take? And I thought, Okay, this, this has to stop. So I created a, I created it. I'm pretty graphic. Sometimes I created a poem, I pick my brain consultation session. I charged a reasonable but serious rate. And then I said, this is the best way to prepare for our meeting. Yep. And if somebody said, Can I pick? Can I take you to coffee and pick your right now? Here's where we are different. Angela? door coffee. I adore coffee. It's 315. In the afternoon, I'm having my second cup of the day. I have one in the morning, when in the afternoon. But no, you can't pick my brain. You cannot pick my brain. I need the whole thing. Trust me, I really do. But you can hire me for an hour. And then I will share with you on these three content areas. Nobody ever
said yes. And some of them even got insulted. And I thought, Well, you've just told me everything I need to know about where I should be spending my time. And I know you. Exactly. Thank you Next. So just, you know, things to think about. But it's taken other people, you know, helping me realize and putting a process in place that can help me with my time and then turn around, you know, and help these other people. So anyway, I could talk to you forever, but we're out of time. And I make a book recommendation because I think if anybody's still on the fence thinking, Oh, geez, well, let me make two recommendations. If you are loving this conversation, you're like, How come? I don't know about this? Diane? wingert. She's the bomb, huh? You gotta listen to my podcast, which is called the driven woman. Yes, it doesn't have ADHD in the title. But it's very appropriate. I say it's for like minded and like brain, women like Angela and myself. It's all about mindset and productivity for busy brains. But there's a book that was just published this last week by the Oji. In the ADHD community, none other than Dr. Ned Halliwell, who's written probably 20 books. He is a psychiatrist. His expertise is all about ADHD. He has ADHD, and dyslexia. He's a Harvard trained physician. This man knows his stuff. The brand new book is called ADHD 2.0. hot press. And that would be the place I would suggest people start is you will figure it out if you read this book, or listen to the book. And then if you decide, okay, this is me, then you can take things to the next step. Awesome. And we will find that and put it all in the show notes. And we will also link all of Diane's information for coaching. And do you have anything coming up? Like do you have classes that people can come into at any time of the year? Or do you take on one on one coaching clients? How does that work if someone wants to work directly with you?
I appreciate you asking Angela, I am currently taking a hiatus from my group coaching program to work on something bigger, which is my own book. But but I am still taking one on one clients, I have a couple of people graduating. So I will have two spots opening up in the next few weeks, I work with people on a very focused one on one basis for 12 weeks. Because it's amazing how much you can get done in a single quarter.
So that's what I'm doing now. And I can give you a link to sign up for a free consult so we can size each other up and see if we're a fit. Yeah, that sounds awesome. So if you'll send us the link in the domain, we'll put it in the show notes. And don't worry if you're driving. You don't have to remember all this stuff. We'll put it all there. We'll put all the links in there. Do you have a favorite platform if people want to connect with you on social Instagram at coach Diane wingert awesome. Sounds great. And don't forget, Angela,
you're coming on my podcast soon. I'm so excited. I can't wait. So you guys, you'll have to listen. And you'll have to share it with everybody because we have a good time together. As always, there's always good nuggets in there. So everybody listening. Thank you so much for your time today. Be sure to go on and connect with Diane. And be sure to tune in next week for another episode of business unveiled by y'all. That's it for this week's episode of business unveiled. Now that you have all the tools that you need to conquer the world and GSD get shit done. Would you share this with your friends and fellow business leaders? One thing that would really really help us and help new listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a comment and Apple podcast, Spotify, Stitcher, or wherever you tune in and listen to business unveiled. You can check out the show notes at Angela proffitt.com slash
podcast and link up with us on social media so you can share your biggest insights. And I want to know your aha moments. Until next week, remember, the profitable shifts and structures you're creating in your business, help you be more present in your life. So get out there and GSD